I Am the Horrible Thing

A True Life Story of How I Almost Got Myself Killed...on Vacation

By: Greg Tavares

Narrated by: Greg Tavares

Length: 1 hr and 16 mins

Publisher's summary

Greg almost died on vacation in Costa Rica. Now, he wants to tell you the whole funny, sad story - and about the time he painted his penis purple in Hawaii. This is a true story. Greg is a lifelong improv comic, but in this story, he does something a little different. He does not go for the quick laugh. He relives his near-death experience so deeply, you won't know if he gets out alive until the very end.

©2019 Greg Tavares (P)2020 Greg Tavares

Absolutely riveting . . .

I was completely captivated by Greg’s amazing story. There was anger mixed with laughter, sprinkled with tears. Greg is a master storyteller and I appreciate the tale he shares.

Almost Drown in the Ocean with Greg

Loved Greg telling his own near death experience story, weighted by his related past experiences.

Wonderful story and brilliant storytelling!

I must admit I don’t do audio books. They usually put me right to sleep with the lovely soothing narration. But oh my! This is an exciting tale interwoven with relatable background for those who grew up in the 70s. From picking up hitch hikers to steering your parents’ car, seamlessly straight into drowning in the ocean, this story keeps you on the edge of emotion. Spoiler alert: I laughed so hard at the painted purple penis I almost spit out my drink. So happy that Greg put his feet down, floated, and lived to tell this tale of redemption, love for his wife, and appreciation for the crazy past that brought him to this moment. Love, love, loved it!

Great storytelling!

Greg's totally absorbing and gripping story, despite its title, is not about death. It's a story about life! About the sharp turns life sometimes takes that shape us as individuals. He regales us with wonderfully descriptive and telling portraits of scenes in Greg's life (like the time his family visited a hippy nudist beach in Hawaii and he painted his penis purple, all to the mortified chagrin of his poor long- suffering mother). His authentic and vivid narration lends to a delightfully engaging (and often hilarious) hour or so of listening. I recommend this audiobook. Go get it and listen. It'll make you laugh , it'll make you cry it'll make you want to learn to be a better swimmer !

Engaging story, left me wanting to know more

I know this is not a comedy, but at a few points I laughed so hard but I’m sure the people in the neighboring hotel room wondered what I was doing. I will never forget the story about purple paint on the nudist beach!

The author is extraordinarily observant. I can’t remember anything from when I was five that would help me paint a picture of my parents with empathy. I’m not sure I remember anything from when I was five at all! Insights from the 1970s are funny to me because while I lived it, I’m not sure I noticed much.

On a more serious note, I don’t want the story to end so abruptly. How did he get off the sand? Does he still go in to the water in Charleston?

And why is the author a “horrible thing?” I don’t understand how the title relates to the story. Even if he didn’t mean to do anything heroic, he survived. Surviving is the heroic thing in the first place!

Great listen

Author shares a very personal story and performs it well. I normally listen to my Audible on 1.3x speed but slowed down to normal for this one to fully get the effect of the delivery. Would listen to more work by this author.

Raw, Relatable, Really good.

I laughed. I cried. I called my parents to tell them I love them. All in under an hour. Greg’s narration was spot on as he tells his tale of a near death experience.

I feel duped

This was the worst short story EVER. The narration was awful and the pauses were so frequent and long that I thought my phone was shutting off. The story itself is completely UNINTERESTING! I was cheering on the waves toward the end that is how bad it was!
I cannot believe I wasted a credit on this weirdo!