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Guards! Guards!
- Discworld, Book 8
- Narrated by: Jon Culshaw, Peter Serafinowicz, Bill Nighy, Ben Aaronovitch
- Length: 13 hrs and 29 mins
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Guards! Guards!
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Publisher's summary
Brought to you by Penguin.
The audiobook of Guards! Guards! is narrated by impressionist and actor Jon Culshaw, best known for BBC Radio 4’s Dead Ringers, and for the Doctor Who audiobooks and dramas. BAFTA and Golden Globe award-winning actor Bill Nighy (Love Actually; Pirates of the Caribbean; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) reads the footnotes, and Peter Serafinowicz (Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace; Shaun of the Dead) stars as the voice of Death. Featuring a new theme tune composed by James Hannigan.
'NOBLE DRAGONS DON'T HAVE FRIENDS. THE NEAREST THEY CAN GET TO THE IDEA IS AN ENEMY WHO IS STILL ALIVE.'
The city of Ankh-Morpork is in turmoil, its citizens revolting. Again.
A shadowy secret brotherhood has summoned a dragon to spread terror throughout the city, intent on overthrowing the Patrician and ruling in his place. Too bad the dragon has ideas of its own...
It's up to Captain Sam Vimes and the ramshackle Night Watch to stop it. Only problem is, the Watch are more used to dealing with mobs than dragons.
And if they can't bring down this fire-breathing tyrant and reinstate their own, slightly less dangerous one, Ankh-Morpork might be lost. For ever...
With an afterword by Ben Aaronovitch.
Guards! Guards! is the first book in the City Watch series, but you can listen to the Discworld novels in any order.
The first book in the Discworld series - The Colour of Magic - was published in 1983. Some elements of the Discworld universe may reflect this.
Critic reviews
"This is one of Pratchett's best books. Hilarious and highly recommended." (The Times)
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-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,769
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,760
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it’s carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.
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3 out of 5 stars
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TERRIBLE Narration!
- By Kayla I on 07-08-22
By: Terry Pratchett
-
Doughnut
- By: Tom Holt
- Narrated by: Ray Sawyer
- Length: 13 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 401
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 357
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 360
Things have been going pretty badly for Theo Bernstein. An unfortunate accident at work has lost him his job (and his work involved a Very Very Large Hadron Collider, so he's unlikely to get it back). His wife has left him. And he doesn't have any money. Before Theo has time to fully appreciate the pointlessness of his own miserable existence, news arrives that his good friend, a renowned physicist and Nobel laureate, has died. By leaving the apparently worthless contents of his safety deposit box to Theo, however, the professor has set him on a quest of epic proportions.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun world for scifantasy fans
- By illgnosis on 06-19-13
By: Tom Holt
-
The Spirit Thief
- The Legend of Eli Monpress, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,056
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,842
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,839
He's not just any thief. He’s the greatest thief of the age - and he’s also a wizard. And with the help of his partners - a swordsman with the most powerful magic sword in the world but no magical ability of his own, and a demonseed who can step through shadows and punch through walls - he’s going to put his plan into effect. The first step is to increase the size of the bounty on his head, so he’ll need to steal some big things. But he’ll start with somethingsmall. Something like a king....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining light fantasy
- By Kindle Customer on 02-16-12
By: Rachel Aaron
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City of Stairs
- By: Robert Jackson Bennett
- Narrated by: Alma Cuervo
- Length: 17 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,456
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,294
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,298
The city of Bulikov once wielded the powers of the gods to conquer the world, enslaving and brutalizing millions - until its divine protectors were killed. Now Bulikov has become just another colonial outpost of the world's new geopolitical power, but the surreal landscape of the city itself - first shaped, now shattered, by the thousands of miracles its guardians once worked upon it - stands as a constant, haunting reminder of its former supremacy. Into this broken city steps Shara Thivani.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Something Different
- By Scott S. on 10-17-14
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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Book 1
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Jim Dale
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 195,440
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 171,515
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 171,003
Harry Potter has never even heard of Hogwarts when the letters start dropping on the doormat at number four, Privet Drive. Addressed in green ink on yellowish parchment with a purple seal, they are swiftly confiscated by his grisly aunt and uncle. Then, on Harry's eleventh birthday, a great beetle-eyed giant of a man called Rubeus Hagrid bursts in with some astonishing news: Harry Potter is a wizard, and he has a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. An incredible adventure is about to begin!
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great reading of the wrong book
- By P on 11-24-15
By: J.K. Rowling
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Shadow Prowler
- Chronicles of Siala, Book 1
- By: Alexey Pehov
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 15 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 395
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 295
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Story4 out of 5 stars 301
An army is gathering; thousands of giants, ogres, and other creatures are joining forces from all across the Desolate Lands, united, for the first time in history, under one, black banner. By the spring, or perhaps sooner, the Nameless One and his forces will be at the walls of the great city of Avendoom.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This Thief will steal your time away
- By Joshua on 03-29-10
By: Alexey Pehov
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The Anubis Gates
- By: Tim Powers
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 15 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,467
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,344
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,341
When Brendan Doyle is flown from America to London to give a lecture on Samuel Taylor Coleridge, little does he expect that he will soon be traveling through time and meeting the poet himself. But Brendan could do without being stranded penniless in the teeming, thieving London of 1810.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Yesterday… All My Troubles Seemed So Far Away
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 06-21-16
By: Tim Powers
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The Book of Magic
- By: Gardner Dozois - editor, Scott Lynch, Elizabeth Bear, and others
- Narrated by: Karissa Vacker, Sile Bermingham, Maxwell Caulfield, and others
- Length: 24 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 173
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 158
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 157
Hot on the heels of Gardner Dozois's acclaimed anthology The Book of Swords comes this companion volume devoted to magic. How could it be otherwise? For every Frodo, there is a Gandalf... and a Saruman. For every Dorothy, a Glinda... and a Wicked Witch of the West. What would Harry Potter be without Albus Dumbledore... and Severus Snape? Figures of wisdom and power, possessing arcane, often forbidden knowledge, wizards and sorcerers are shaped - or misshaped - by the potent magic they seek to wield.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Very Good, With One Objection
- By Kindle Customer on 05-05-20
By: Gardner Dozois - editor, and others
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Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos
- By: R. L. LaFevers
- Narrated by: Charlotte Parry
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 439
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 344
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 342
Theodosia Throckmorton has her hands full at the Museum of Legends and Antiquities in London. Her father may be head curator, but it is Theoand only Theowho is able to see all the black magic and ancient curses that still cling to the artifacts in the museum. Sneaking behind her fathers back, Theo uses old, nearly forgotten Egyptian magic to remove the curses and protect her father and the rest of the museum employees from the ancient, sinister forces that lurk in the museums dark hallways.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Girls Adventure
- By Grant on 05-03-10
By: R. L. LaFevers
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The Thousand Names
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 22 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,022
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 920
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 926
With this stunning series opener, Django Wexler leaps to the upper echelon of today’s best fantasy authors. The Thousand Names opens his Shadow Campaigns series with a tale of bloody rebellion that will reshape an empire -- and a world. Captain Marcus d’Ivoire and Winter Ihernglass see their fortunes rise under the command of military genius Janus bet Vhalnich. But Janus’ obsession with the supernatural portends a dire fate for the realm.
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3 out of 5 stars
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90% battles and 10% character development
- By Kathleen on 11-15-14
By: Django Wexler
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The Infernal City
- Elder Scrolls Series #1
- By: Greg Keyes
- Narrated by: Michael Page
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,153
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,058
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,056
Four decades after the Oblivion Crisis, Tamriel is threatened anew by an ancient and all-consuming evil. It is Umbriel, a floating city that casts a terrifying shadow-for wherever it falls, people die and rise again. And it is in Umbriel's shadow that a great adventure begins and a group of unlikely heroes meet. A legendary prince with a secret. A spy on the trail of a vast conspiracy. A mage obsessed with his desire for revenge. And Annaïg, a young girl in whose hands the fate of Tamriel may rest.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Umbriel is coming
- By Brenden Zapp on 02-01-13
By: Greg Keyes
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A Charmed Life
- The Worlds of Chrestomanci, Book 1
- By: Diana Wynne Jones
- Narrated by: Gerard Doyle
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 760
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 557
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 562
Cat doesn't mind living in the shadow of his sister, Gwendolen, the most promising young witch ever seen on Coven Street. But trouble starts brewing the moment the two orphans are summoned to live in Chrestomanci Castle. Frustrated that the witches of the castle refuse to acknowledge her talents, Gwendolen conjures up a scheme that could throw whole worlds out of whack.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Delightful Read!
- By Amazon Customer on 09-27-05
-
The Train to Impossible Places, Book 1: A Cursed Delivery
- By: P. G. Bell
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 57
The Impossible Postal Express is no ordinary train. It's a troll-operated delivery service that runs everywhere from ocean-bottom shipwrecks to Trollville and to space. But when this impossible train comes roaring through Suzy's living room, her world turns upside down. After sneaking on board, Suzy suddenly finds herself deputy post master aboard the train and faced with her first delivery - to the evil Lady Crepuscula. Then, the package itself begs Suzy not to deliver him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful adventure
- By ASW on 04-13-19
By: P. G. Bell
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Angelmaker
- By: Nick Harkaway
- Narrated by: Daniel Weyman
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,512
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,350
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,349
Joe Spork repairs clocks, a far cry from his late father, a flashy London gangster. But when Joe fixes one particularly unusual device, his life is suddenly upended. Joe's client, Edie Banister, is more than just a kindly old lady - she's a former superspy. And the device? It's a 1950s doomsday machine. And having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the government and a diabolical South Asian dictator, Edie's old arch-nemesis.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A cure for the modern cynic
- By Maine Colonial 🌲 on 08-28-12
By: Nick Harkaway
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Thisby Thestoop and the Black Mountain
- By: Zac Gorman
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 36
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 32
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 32
In the absurd land of Nth, Thisby Thestoop can be found within the forlorn walls of Castle Grimstone, down the precarious steps of the Black Mountain dungeon, up to her nose in griffon toenails, gnoll spittle, and troll meat (to give to them, not made of them). When the prince and princess arrive for a Royal Inspection, the much too good-looking Princess Iphigenia winds up lost in the tunnels of the dungeon - without her guards, her staff, or her younger twin brother - and it's up to Thisby to guide the princess safely.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic
- By Amazon Customer on 11-06-18
By: Zac Gorman
-
Sabriel
- By: Garth Nix
- Narrated by: Tim Curry
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,295
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 7,040
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,033
Ever since she was a tiny child, Sabriel has lived outside the walls of the Old Kingdom, away from the random power of Free Magic, and away from the Dead who won't stay dead. But now her father, the Mage Abhorsen, is missing, and to find him Sabriel must cross back into that world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Enraptured
- By T. HICKS on 06-20-09
By: Garth Nix
-
The Accidental Sorcerer
- Rogue Agent, Book 1
- By: K. E. Mills
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 16 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 264
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 147
Gerald Dunwoody is a wizard. Just not a particularly good one. He's blown up a factory, lost his job, and there's a chance that he's not really a Third Grade wizard after all. So it's off to New Ottosland to be the new Court Wizard for King Lional. It's a shame that King Lional isn't the vain, self-centered young man he appeared to be. With a princess in danger, a talking bird who can't stay out of trouble, and a kingdom to save, Gerald soon suspects that he might be out of his depth.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A good start to a new series
- By John Williams on 10-26-09
By: K. E. Mills
-
Agatha H. and the Airship City
- Girl Genius, Book 1
- By: Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 981
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 857
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 861
The Industrial Revolution has escalated into all-out warfare. Sixteen years have passed since the Heterodyne Boys, benevolent adventurers and inventors, disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Today, Europe is ruled by the Sparks, dynasties of mad scientists ruling over - and terrorizing - the hapless population with their bizarre inventions and unchecked power, while the downtrodden dream of the Heterodynes’ return. At Transylvania Polygnostic University, a pretty, young student named Agatha Clay seems to have nothing but bad luck.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Ever wanted visuals while audio book listening?
- By Amazon Customer on 02-11-13
By: Phil Foglio, and others
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A nightmarish danger threatens from the other side of reality. . . . Armed with only a frying pan and her common sense, young witch-to-be Tiffany Aching must defend her home against the monsters of Fairyland. Luckily she has some very unusual help: the local Nac Mac Feegle—aka the Wee Free Men—a clan of fierce, sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great book; Indira Varna excellent but…
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Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Collected together for the first time are seven full-cast BBC Radio dramatisations of Terry Pratchett’s novels, with star-studded casts including Martin Jarvis, Sheila Hancock, Anton Lesser, Philip Jackson, Alex Jennings and Mark Heap.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Get the unabridged audiobooks, instead
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Not just another science audiobook and not just another Discworld novella, The Science of Discworld is a creative, mind-bending mash-up of fiction and fact, that offers a wizard’s-eye view of our world that will forever change how you look at the universe.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not the best Pratchett, but gets there in the end
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A storm. Rain-lashed city streets. A flash of lightning. A scruffy lad sees a girl leap desperately from a horse-drawn carriage in a vain attempt to escape her captors. Can the lad stand by and let her be caught again? Of course not, because he's...Dodger. Seventeen-year-old Dodger may be a street urchin, but he gleans a living from London's sewers, and he knows a jewel when he sees one. He's not about to let anything happen to the unknown girl - not even if her fate impacts the most powerful people in England.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Finally Revealed: Where Dickens Got His Ideas!
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A nightmarish danger threatens from the other side of reality. . . . Armed with only a frying pan and her common sense, young witch-to-be Tiffany Aching must defend her home against the monsters of Fairyland. Luckily she has some very unusual help: the local Nac Mac Feegle—aka the Wee Free Men—a clan of fierce, sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A storm. Rain-lashed city streets. A flash of lightning. A scruffy lad sees a girl leap desperately from a horse-drawn carriage in a vain attempt to escape her captors. Can the lad stand by and let her be caught again? Of course not, because he's...Dodger. Seventeen-year-old Dodger may be a street urchin, but he gleans a living from London's sewers, and he knows a jewel when he sees one. He's not about to let anything happen to the unknown girl - not even if her fate impacts the most powerful people in England.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Finally Revealed: Where Dickens Got His Ideas!
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What listeners say about Guards! Guards!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Aquene Kemp
- 08-28-24
Performance is excellent!
Voice acting is great and adds another layer of depth to an already excellent story. Definitely recommend this audiobook!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- A. Ray
- 06-11-23
Enjoying the new versions
I’ll always have a soft spot for the original recordings, but I enjoy the production quality and voice acting of the new versions.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Winter Cawley
- 06-08-23
Stupendiferous!
Recommended for everybody! I have waited with anticipation for over a year and am not disappointed.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jennie Gaither
- 08-03-23
loops back to beginning in the final 30 seconds
I appreciated the narrator's consistency with matching a character voice to that character's dialogue. Nobby's voice acting is a perfect match for the personality, and Vimes is fairly good. I don't know yet that I liked it enough to re-purchase the rest of the Watch arc with this narrator -- it depends on the studio quality on Men At Arms, which is written as much more of an ensemble story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Backlash
- 01-06-24
the best
Sir Terry' is a masterful writer and this is some of his best work
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tybreagus
- 05-09-24
Epic.
It's amazing how Sir Terry Pratchet was able to fit so much social commentary in the corners of so much humor.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- clfknit
- 12-07-23
Great discworld! Great read!
I am new to the discworld starting to read them just this year. I don’t know how I missed them for so long. I have read some and listen to some as the new recordings. I already have some favorites. Guards! Guards, is one. The narrator is wonderful and plan to listen to the other city watch narrated by home.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Aisling
- 06-03-23
The first great Discworld book
I have no idea why other reviews have marked down the narration, there’s nothing wrong with it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anon
- 01-29-24
Funniest book, best narration I have ever heard
It's like Monty Python in book form. I absolutely love it. Somehow, the story is actually engaging, even through the hilarity. Absolutely impressive, seriously cannot recommend it enough.
Also I thought I had heard good narration before. I had not. This is without a doubt the best narrator I have ever heard. Ever. Anywhere.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sunworshipper3
- 04-28-24
well!
This was my first book that I've read of the Discworld series. I was driving halfway across the country and asked my adult niece what book she wanted to listen to and she chose Guards Guards!! What a great read and what a great performance! I really can't say enough about it. I couldn't help but turn it on at every opportunity I had to see what was going to happen next and now I'm trying to figure out what book I need to read next. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it and I think you will too!
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