• Grace in the Gray

  • A More Loving Way to Disagree
  • By: Mike Donehey
  • Narrated by: Mike Donehey
  • Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (36 ratings)

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Grace in the Gray  By  cover art

Grace in the Gray

By: Mike Donehey
Narrated by: Mike Donehey
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Publisher's summary

By approaching disagreements in a more loving way and seeing the grace and good in those who hold differing viewpoints, you'll gain a deeper understanding of others, yourself, and God—from the bestselling author of Finding God's Life for My Will.

“Written with just the right amount of humor, reflection, and heart, Grace in the Gray shows us how to focus on the people we may disagree with more than focusing on the issue at hand.”—Mac Powell, Grammy Award-winning singer and songwriter

In a culture where constant offense and polarization dominate so many interactions, here is good news about a more productive way to disagree: God desires for us to become better at loving others . . . not better at debating.

Grace in the Gray helps us see the grace and good that’s often hidden by our own limited perspectives and assumptions. Through a collection of personal stories and biblical insights, Mike Donehey reveals a four-stage process to help you

1. subjectify those you’ve objectified

2. empathize with those you’ve vilified

3. humanize those you’ve deified

4. see why your posture is as essential as your position

In relationships, professional settings, and social situations, discover how to focus on the person standing before you more than the argument set against you. Doing so gives you the rare ability to face any conflict with better questions, kindness, and the calming posture of curiosity.

It all begins by learning to listen and lead with the most transformative substance the universe has ever known . . . God’s love.

©2022 Mike Donehey (P)2022 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“I’ve had the privilege of knowing Mike Donehey for many years now and have always felt that he is one of the most thoughtful lyricists and communicators I know. Mike is a thinker, but so much more than that, he is a lover of people. Written with just the right amount of humor, reflection, and heart, Grace in the Gray shows us how to focus on the people we may disagree with more than focusing on the issue at hand.” —Mac Powell, Grammy Award–winning singer and songwriter

“In a world that is seemingly more divided and polarized than ever, Mike stands out as a peacemaker. He has a unique gift of reaching across the divides and reminding people with his own vulnerability that we are all created and loved by the same God.” —Gareth and Ali Gilkeson, Rend Collective

What listeners say about Grace in the Gray

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Excellent read to dive deeper in your faith

Mike is extremely thorough in the breakdown of thoughts, always rooting these in scripture. Very vivid narration that both keeps your attention as well as making it extremely memorable as you go. Highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to grow in their personal walk and in the way you walk alongside others.

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Well written and thought provoking!

Thank you Mike for writing this much needed book. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. Thank you for pointing us to Jesus and reminding us we are supposed to be able to be identified by our love. And we are supposed to love enemies. There’s no place for hate in a Christian’s heart. Thank you.

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Good resources to listen to

I think it is benefit to listen to and nothing against it. It will be good for people listen to whose is struggle with this.

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The real life examples

The author put words to my thoughts such as “what would the Holy Spirit sound like”. The proverbs 26 reference. Wounds from a friend … Embrace and seek words of correction.

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Wading out in the waters of Jesus

I deeply enjoyed Mike’s humility, curiosity, humor and benevolence. I wish more Christians held these traits in their hearts more consistently.

This book was intended for someone else but it was a gift for me.

I am grateful that Mike humanized the bumpy and sometimes painful road to meeting someone with Grace in the Gray.

This book has helped me eat a few helpings of humble pie and also helped me understand God’s love and perspective on loving others that are different than me.

This booker helped me take another step in understanding Jesus and towards being a Christian with kindness, benevolence, humility and maybe even some humor sprinkled in here and there.

Thank you Mike.

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I loved this book!

If you only read one book this year, read this one! Definitely a book that I will revisit and highly recommend!

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Great insight and great timing

At a time, where culture is so quick to cancel those with different views, the insights given in this book, give us reason to pause, and reflect on how we ourselves are showing Jesus to our world. Thanks Mike for the humor and the truth that you provide with this book.

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poor theology

Someone please tell this author the new covenant started at the cross and not at the beginning of the gospels. Yes, the Lord’s prayer speaks of forgiveness for those who forgive but Jesus was speaking to the Jews who were still under the law. Ugh.

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The book we all should read and reread again. GRACE IN THE GRAY

In this world of division everywhere you look, Mike has given us a lot of practical ways to “love people we don’t even like, God doesn’t have gray areas but He can and wants to help us with the gray areas we make for ourselves. Every chapter is filled with great things to think about. And he does it with humor as only he can. Loved the book! Thanks for your love of Jesus and people!
DB Wisconsin


the mess we humans seem to make communicating






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Highly recommend

This book gives a gentle nudge and the message hit home. I’ve already recommended to friends. Mike does a great job narrating his own book. It’s one I will be listening to again.

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