Getting the Love You Want

A Guide for Couples: 20th Anniversary Edition

By: Harville Hendrix Ph.D.

Narrated by: Jack Garrett

In Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix presents the relationship skills that have already helped hundreds of thousands of couples to replace confrontation and criticism with a healing process of mutual growth and support.

This extraordinarily practical guide describes the revolutionary technique of Imago Relationship Therapy, which combines a number of disciplines - including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, among others - to create a program to resolve conflict and renew communication and passion.

In a new chapter and afterword, we learn the key ways in which Imago Therapy - now practiced by more than two thousand therapists worldwide - can be used to help couples eliminate all negativity from their daily interactions.

This fundamental change has proven invaluable in couples' therapy, and the importance of eliminating negativity has been integrated throughout the text, allowing listeners of the 2008 edition to benefit from Dr. Hendrix's ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.

©1988, 2008 Harville Hendrix (P)2008 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"I know of no better guide for couples who genuinely desire a maturing relationship." (M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled)

Gave me lots to think about.

This book has given me a lot of self awareness and knowledge into how my childhood has affected my marriage. I have not started the exercises yet but already feel the benefits of awareness gained from Getting the Love You Want. Definitely worth the read.

Thank you Dr. Hendrix. for this wonderful book.

I'm not marry yet. my fiance and I known each other for 9 years. I have to say I learned so much about myself on this book and my painful childhood experience. this book may me realize how to be a better person and listen to my partner better about he's needs and be more caring .

SUPERB

Very, Very Helpful. I will be downloading more of his books. Thank you Audible! It was so convenient for me.

Eye opening, this explains everything moments.

As I listened and reflected on past relationships, I could see clearly. Got what wanted.

Remarkable insights; Remarkable delivery

Needless to say, the material is wonderful, mind-blowing, revolutionary, inventive, and insightful. I was on pins and needles, and I felt challenged to grow from the first paragraph. This is the most interesting, original and authentic book I’ve encountered on the topic of relationships.

I must emphasize: the narration is perfect. The performance is a masterclass in how to handle the narration of non-fiction material that is instructive, contemplative, and complex. The book is engaging both intellectually and emotionally, and the reader’s presence should allow the listener to be present and undistracted in both realms.

I’ve listened to narrations of at least three other books I consider important and well written on the topics of yoga, metaphysics and love relationships. At least one was read by the author. Hearing Jack Garrett narrate “Getting the Love You Want” is the first time I’ve heard a narrator strike a perfect balance in his performance.

The material, in part thanks to Mr. Garrett’s read, is extremely engrossing. On occasion, I will check to see if I’m paying any attention to the reader himself. The answer is always ‘no.’ *The only reason I shift focus to check is that I’ve found the narrators of various excellent non-fiction works extremely distracting and mannered. I’ve heard narrators grossly under-modulate and over-modulate; I’ve heard some who have quirks, overly distinct speech patterns or who sound downright peculiar. Jack Garret’s voice and read are a joy to behold! I’m an actor and voice actor, so a part of me is always interested in the approach and effectiveness of audiobook narration/performance.

Here, Jack Garrett has all the qualifications a listener could want: a clear, pleasant, beautifully modulated voice. He is able to make crystal clear the sense and importance of the text. I attribute his great success with the material to his acting skills, his intelligence and his strong preparation, but at the same time, I am never conscious of him other than that he is warm enough to keep the material engaging at all times. He is masculine and strong, yet he never draws attention to his personality. His attributes merely serve his pitch-perfect delivery of the book.

I found every part of the book stirring on some level. I find it amazing and even amusing that when I heard the very last section of the book, which, aloud, initially sounds like an index, I was still so immersed that I forgot there was anything but the author’s message and me.

Good but....

What did you like best about Getting the Love You Want? What did you like least?

I liked that there are exercises you can do alone and with your partner.

How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

Less religion. There is a whole chapter on the author's biography and how he sees therapy as a way to bring people close to God. He needs to be neutral in order to relate to ALL his readers

Would you listen to another book narrated by Jack Garrett?

not if religion is over lapping psychology too many times.

Any additional comments?

Please put a pdf file for the exercises section. It is hard to take note of the verbal instructions. A pdf list for exercises would be a well needed study addition.

Easily in Top 5 of most effective Self Help books

One of very few books that I think literally everyone should read. The style, to me, was like a cross between King, Warrior, Magician, Lover and How to Make Friends and Influence People. It had a great deal of quality psychology information that is relatable to a wide audience as well as lots of stories with the same affect. It will be easy for most people to relate to and to understand. I fucking loved it. It's helped me understand how to do as it says and get the love I want. All of my relationships are better for it, and all other areas of performance in my life have improved because of this book. I'm already listening a second time.

should be read in college!

What made the experience of listening to Getting the Love You Want the most enjoyable?

Harville explains that our adult relationships are to heal our childhood pain. It explained everything wrong with my past relationships and helped to understand things so much clearer. This should be in every marriage counselor, priest or pastor and psych offices!

What did you like best about this story?

Multiple stories to help you understand the concepts

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Getting the Love You Want?

patience with him and me!!!!!!!!!

Any additional comments?

if you are having problems with relationships get this book!

Despite generalization, the advice is good and is

The author is a couples therapist with over 20 years of experience, whose wife is also a therapist. The book focuses heavily on psychoanalysis, e.g. it keeps discussing about the wounded child in each of us, and how we select our partners because we subconsciously seek our parents (or other childhood caretakers). We unconsciously seek a mate with negative and positive traits that match our parents. The negative traits usually outweigh the positive.

Personally, I'm not a fan of regressive psychology. Although it is understood that our childhoods have influenced who we have become as adults, but focusing too much on the past prevents us from focusing on steps necessary for the future.

Arguably, the book does not provide new ideal or concept, e.g. the only way to change your marriage is to stop trying to change your spouse and to work instead on your own issues. The book was based on relationships that didn't work, so there was no evidence that the relationships that do work really work the principles advised therein or otherwise.

Yet, the book makes senses. The authors provide some practical, meaningful, and insightful guidance towards understanding people, relationships, behaviors, and perspectives.

Despite generalization, the advice is good and is not by itself likely to cause problems, if read carefully and critically. 

life changing

Loved it. Definitely saw myself in the book.. Privided valuable insight. Can't wait to do the exercises.