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John Dies at the End
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
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Publisher's summary
John Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town—and the world—from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions.
Stop.
You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands.
No, don’t put it down. It’s too late. They’re watching you.
My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye.
The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.
The important thing is this: the drug is called Soy Sauce, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do.
I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: none of this was my fault.
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- By: Arthur C. Clarke
- Narrated by: Ralph Lister, Ray Porter, Jonathan Davis
- Length: 51 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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From early work like "Rescue Party" and "The Lion of Comarre", through classic stories including "The Star", "Earthlight", "The Nine Billion Names of God", and "The Sentinel" (kernel of the later novel and movie 2001: A Space Odyssey), all the way to later work like "A Meeting with Medusa" and "The Hammer of God", this comprehensive short story collection encapsulates one of the great science fiction careers of all time.
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List of stories from
- By KW Charlie on 09-15-16
By: Arthur C. Clarke
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The House with the Golden Door
- Wolf Den Trilogy
- By: Elodie Harper
- Narrated by: Antonia Beamish
- Length: 14 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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The life of a courtesan in Pompeii is glamorous yet perilous. At night in the home her patron bought for her, the house with the golden door, Amara’s dreams are haunted by her past. She longs for her sisterhood of friends—the women at the brothel she was forced to leave behind—and worse, finds herself pursued by the cruel and vindictive man who once owned her. To be truly free, she will need to be as ruthless as he is. Amara knows her existence in Pompeii is subject to Venus, the goddess of love. Yet finding love may prove to be the most dangerous act of all.
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Hard to put down!
- By Michele on 01-26-24
By: Elodie Harper
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Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
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Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
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The Every
- A Novel
- By: Dave Eggers
- Narrated by: Dion Graham
- Length: 16 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Delaney Wells is an unlikely new hire at the Every. A former forest ranger and unwavering tech skeptic, she charms her way into an entry-level job with one goal in mind: to take down the company from within. With her compatriot, the not-at-all-ambitious Wes Makazian, they look for the Every's weaknesses, hoping to free humanity from all-encompassing surveillance and the emoji-driven infantilization of the species. But does anyone want what Delaney is fighting to save? Does humanity truly want to be free?
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The narrator sounds like he works for the Every!
- By Bug on 11-22-21
By: Dave Eggers
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The Sirens of Titan
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The richest, most depraved man on Earth, Malachi Constant, is offered a chance to take a space journey to distant worlds with a beautiful woman at his side. Of course, there's a catch to the invitation....
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Absolutely Outstanding
- By Robert on 01-07-12
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Childhood's End
- By: Arthur C. Clarke
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer, Robert J. Sawyer - introduction
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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The Overlords appeared suddenly over every city - intellectually, technologically, and militarily superior to humankind. Benevolent, they made few demands: unify earth, eliminate poverty, and end war. With little rebellion, humankind agreed, and a golden age began.
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Food for Thought
- By Kindle Customer on 11-17-08
By: Arthur C. Clarke
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The Immortals of Tehran
- By: Ali Araghi
- Narrated by: Peter Ganim
- Length: 16 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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As a child living in his family's apple orchard, Ahmad Torkash-Vand treasures his great-great-great-great grandfather's every mesmerizing world. On the day of his father's death, Ahmad listens closely as the seemingly immortal elder tells him the tale of a centuries-old family curse...and the boy's own fated role in the story.
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Unique story with many characters
- By Anonymous User on 08-22-24
By: Ali Araghi
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A Hundred Thousand Worlds
- By: Bob Proehl
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Valerie Torrey took her son, Alex, and fled Los Angeles six years ago - leaving both her role on a cult sci-fi TV show and her costar husband after a tragedy blew their small family apart. Now Val must reunite nine-year-old Alex with his estranged father, so they set out on a road trip from New York, Val making appearances at comic book conventions along the way. As they travel west, encountering superheroes, monsters, time travelers, and robots, Val and Alex are drawn into the orbit of the comic-con regulars.
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100 1000 Worlds
- By Josie on 07-16-16
By: Bob Proehl
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Ubik
- By: Philip K. Dick
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Glen Runciter runs a lucrative business - deploying his teams of anti-psychics to corporate clients who want privacy and security from psychic spies. But when he and his top team are ambushed by a rival, he is gravely injured and placed in "half-life," a dreamlike state of suspended animation. Soon, though, the surviving members of the team begin experiencing some strange phenomena, such as Runciter's face appearing on coins and the world seeming to move backward in time.
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Holy sh*t
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-17
By: Philip K. Dick
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The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels
- By: India Holton
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Knowelden
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Cecilia Bassingwaite is the ideal Victorian lady. She's also a thief. Like the other members of the Wisteria Society crime sorority, she flies around England drinking tea, blackmailing friends, and acquiring treasure by interesting means. Sure, she has a dark and traumatic past and an overbearing aunt, but all things considered, it's a pleasant existence. Until the men show up.
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Well written and funny but I still DNF
- By Megan P. on 09-03-21
By: India Holton
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Half Sick of Shadows
- By: Laura Sebastian
- Narrated by: Ell Potter
- Length: 17 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone knows the legend. Of Arthur, destined to be a king. Of the beautiful Guinevere, who will betray him with his most loyal knight, Lancelot. Of the bitter sorceress, Morgana, who will turn against them all. But Elaine alone carries the burden of knowing what is to come - for Elaine of Shalott is cursed to see the future. On the mystical isle of Avalon, Elaine runs free and learns of the ancient prophecies surrounding her and her friends - countless possibilities, almost all of them tragic.
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Time skips are confusing, boring main character
- By Allen I. on 07-09-21
By: Laura Sebastian
What listeners say about John Dies at the End
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ryan M. Kelley
- 02-26-13
Tried something new, and I liked it!
What did you love best about John Dies at the End?
I loved that this story wasn't a formula driven story. No "good guy battles the bad guy and wins because he is the good guy" stuff. The characters are not knights in shining armor, everyone is broken (or at least chipped), but that didn't make them bad people, or especially good people. Just... people. The story was a little crazy... a little funny... a little surprising... And the twists and turns weren't sadly obvious, or so ridiculous that it ruined the story. It all felt like it just fit together. And fit well.
What did you like best about this story?
I was afraid the the story was going to get overly complicated... overlapping time, and different dimensions, and all of the classic over-complications of scifi...
Nope! The story was "filtered" by the point of view of the regular guys on an irregular adventure. They didn't bother trying to explain everything. They figured out what they needed to know, and went with it.
It was an interesting premise, a good story, and a very good performance. Thorne's performance fit the characters perfectly, in all their imperfect glory.
Any additional comments?
I almost hope for a sequel to this book.... but I would be afraid it wouldn't be able to capture the same magic as this one did.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Robbie Austin
- 02-25-19
One of the greatest books ever written.
Douglas Adams meets Stephen King. But with more dick jokes. Read it, you won't be disappointed!
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1 person found this helpful
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- greg
- 04-25-13
smartassed & surrealist humor
What did you like best about John Dies at the End? What did you like least?
The book was funny... "Your dead boyfriend's ghost *hits* you? What a dick."
But after too much over-sarcasm, I realized that the writing style still works as a novel, but works much better as Wong's shorter, cracked online editorial rants.
At some points the book had a similar surrealist humor to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
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1 person found this helpful
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- T. Fleming
- 01-30-16
Appeals to 14 year old boys.
If a 14 year old wrote a supernatural book complete with penis jokes, gratuitous feces, blood, and vomit scenes, and some unsophisticated one liners, this would be it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- M. Webb
- 11-29-18
Interesting story. But the cursing is tiresome.
Why does it seem impossible to find a good book nowadays that isn’t saturated with cursing? It gets very tiresome and turns an otherwise entertaining story, into and experience of irritation.
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- Pen Name
- 12-13-15
Suspension of Disbelief
What did you love best about John Dies at the End?
This book absolutely does not take itself too seriously. It is infectious from the get go.There are loose ends that I wish were explained, so i could make sense of them but that is honestly just for me. The humor is outstanding, the plot shifts itself into 5th gear from the Prologue and keeps it red-lined all the way through the book. You have to get out of a serious mindset when listening to this, as well as get used to his repetitive way of describing ridiculous scenarios, which there are plenty. But it is worth it just as a breath of fresh air, which this book is.
Which character – as performed by Stephen R. Thorne – was your favorite?
I believe through a combo of how well written it was, and how well performed it was, John is my favorite character. Buy and large most friend groups have a John type and he is just extravagantly well written in this.
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- Tristen
- 09-28-16
amazing story i loved every second of it
wow just fricking wow this story caries itself so well and keeps you enthralled for every second
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- gabe
- 04-28-14
Really silly but tons of fun.
Would you listen to John Dies at the End again? Why?
No, because it loses the novelty after the first time.
What was one of the most memorable moments of John Dies at the End?
The doorknob turning into a penis before all the meat in the freezer turns into a demon figure.
What about Stephen R. Thorne’s performance did you like?
His conversational narration matched the book's style.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Laugh a lot from pure randomness and silliness.
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- Phillip Welden
- 02-26-18
Silly and strange and brilliant
Absolutely one of the strangest and funniest horror type books I've ever listened to or read. Mr. Wong and John's adventures in undisclosed are worth a listen.
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- silverio
- 04-06-17
Amazing
watched the movie first but the book is always better. can't wait to start on the next one.
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