Even the Good Girls Will Cry

A '90s Rock Memoir

A remarkably open-hearted, clear-eyed memoir of the '90s Alternative era by the bassist of Hole and The Smashing Pumpkins.

Even the Good Girls Will Cry begins with Melissa Auf der Maur’s bohemian upbringing in Montreal, where her early, deep connection to art and music gave her entry to the colorful and thriving local creative scene. Working as a cassette DJ and ticket girl, she would see (and sometimes meet) the luminaries who’d pass through town–Nirvana, Jane's Addiction, Pavement, Sonic Youth. Thanks to a thrown beer bottle and a long-shot fan letter to a P.O. BOX, her band Tinker scored a life-changing opening slot for The Smashing Pumpkins and, sensing her natural talent on bass, Billy Corgan recommended her to Courtney Love. Melissa joined Hole for the band's 1994 Live Through This world tour, just one of the many uncanny threads that weave destiny throughout this riveting memoir.

Whisked from her local scene and thrust into the eye of a hard-living hurricane of grief on a global stage, Melissa joined Hole just after the deaths of Kurt Cobain and Hole's prior bassist, Kristen Pfaff, with the just-widowed Courtney Love at the center of it all. It was a tour of passionate intensity, as a chaotic yet stunningly powerful band constantly threatened to spin out of control. Melissa brings the reader with raging intimacy right into the action, offering a heroic portrait and a long overdue, full-throated defense of the unforgettable, iconic intensity and brilliance of Courtney Love, as she howled into the darkness as if to keep grief at bay.

That was only the beginning of Melissa's journey through alternative rock. We’re also treated to unforgettable encounters and portraits of other icons and luminaries of the era, like Michael Stipe, Marilyn Manson, Dave Grohl, Rufus Wainwright, Drew Barrymore and more. An accomplished photographer, Melissa catalogued this era, and more than 50 of her stunning, never-before-seen photos complement the narrative. And she recounts the abrupt, post-9/11 end of the grunge era when, seemingly overnight, a new, far less communal and far more aggro-bro mood overtook the country, a darkening that has yet to abate.

Along the way, Melissa accumulates experience and wisdom, becoming a seasoned touring musician and developing a clarity that allowed her to walk away from it all and choose a different life for herself, even as her talents (and spirit) were still very much in demand. Part rock memoir, part travel diary, part psychedelic scrapbook, Even the Good Girls Will Cry is a behind-the-scenes rock ’n’ roll memoir with a soulful intimacy and mystic undertone that sets it apart from memoirs by her peers. It is a vivid dispatch from the last analog decade, artistically capturing that bygone era in all its messy, angsty glory.

Through it all

Oh wow, I just finished the book and realized I didn’t know the dynamics of my favorite band, growing up, at all. So much light shed. It was an amazingly overwhelming read at times. Honesty for the sake of keeping the story pure in perspective and not worrying about how it will be perceived. Such a beautifully calming voice to engulf you into the 90s nostalgia. What an adventure.

Enjoyed every second of this book

For me this was not only a peek behind the curtain time capsule of some of the most iconic bands and artists from my youth but I feel like I got introduced to a soul sister. On paper I am nothing like Melissa. However, she wrote so vulnerably that I felt like I’d known her a long time. LOVED it.

Top notch memoir

One of the best memoirs I’ve ever listened to. She reads it beautifully, and the story is captivating and inspiring. Any fan of 90s rock will love this book.

A stellar musician and artist

Have loved Melissa since I first saw her play with Hole in 1999, and have followed her solo journey beyond. I loved hearing her perspectives on life and love in her own voice.

The honesty and self revelatory insights

This is awondeful memoir. Melissa is a true artist , a beautiful human being. In this time that is so fraught, to have spent a number of hours with this lovely spirit has been an uplifting and inspiring respite from the daily dread of living in Trump’s America.