Come as You Are

Publisher's Summary

An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works - based on groundbreaking research and brain science - that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.

Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist - but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all....

Download the accompanying reference guide.

©2015 Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. All rights reserved. (P)2015 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

Positive, Encouraging, Exciting

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

As a sex educator, I encounter many couples with mismatched libido and women who feel like they are "broken." This book taught me SOOO many new concepts I am eager to share! It is easy to understand, eye opening, based on science, and encouraging. ALL women should read it, and all men should, too! We need to come to a common understanding of how society skews male and female sexuality. We all have the same parts, they're just organized in different ways and women have to deal with so many challenges.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The author Emily reads the audio version and lends such a positive, upbeat attitude to the learning process. You can visualize the smile on her face as she shares insight. Very comforting and pleasant.

What does Emily Nagoski bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

I ended up buying a paperback version so I could mark it up - there were so many key points I wanted to remember. I kept rewinding and listening again. Invaluable info.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

If someone listens carefully to this book, it can change their life. It can help them accept who they are, which is key to being comfortable with your sexuality.

Any additional comments?

This book can change lives for the better. So sympathetic, helpful, comprehensive, positive. I'm so impressed with the information shared.

26 of 27 people found this review helpful

Awesome book Very informative and enlightening

Full disclosure: I'm a guy...

That said; this book is great. It really helped me to understand and rethink how my partners mind and body may feel and react to stimuli... contrary to what I previously "assumed" or was fought.

thank you Emily Nagoski for putting this out there.

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

More interesting than I thought

Would you listen to Come as You Are again? Why?

Probably not all the way through (I bookmarked few spots thought); there were handful of very interesting concepts, which I have now absorbed.

Any additional comments?

As I started listening to this book I thought: "Oh, this is a book for women" (I'm male), but decided to continue listening, and I'm glad I did. Yes, it is primarily written for women, but there were several general concepts about human sexuality (which are also applicable to men) I was unaware of. And, being a straight guy, it was good to learn about some some central factors in female sexuality, too. :-) Arousal nonconcordance, the dual control model, the extent of the effect of the context, what Emily refers to as "the little monitors" (maybe not a scientific term?), and the criterion velocity were all partially or entirely new information to me. It's always interesting to learn how there are various systems in the human body that have been mapped out and understood to this extent. Yes, it was definitely worth a listen; I'd say this is one of those books that would make a big difference in many people's lives if everyone would read it at around the age of 20.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

Tries to be funny, but didn't work for me.

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

This book reminds me why I hate reading self help books.
I listened an interview with the writer in a podcast and read couple of chapters and enjoyed it. However the remaining of the book is pretty disappointing. Writer thinks she is funny and she is not. And the style is mostly for teenagers. There are some useful information but it feels too redundant since she keeps repeating the same things over and over again. Some arguments are pretty fallacious.
I laughed out loud when she made an analogy on losing weight - removing your brain makes you lose 4 pounds of fat, or amputation would make your BMI go down. My laugh was not because she is funny but because of the ridiculous analogies she made.
And "Don't yuck others yum"?! Seriously sounds like a book for kindergarten kids.

Would you ever listen to anything by Emily Nagoski again?

Not sure

What aspect of Emily Nagoski’s performance would you have changed?

Maybe try not to be funny.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

EVERY woman should read/listen to this book!

... and then share it with every other woman in her life. Emily takes science & makes it make sense in an articulate, compassionate, humorous way. I plan to get a hard copy & do lots & lots of highlights & notes. As a survivor of childhood incestuous sexual abuse I can recommend this book as a great way to start dispelling the myths & erroneous self-talk inherent to that history. I wish I'd had this book 30 years ago!!!

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

Not as good as I had hoped

I didn't love the self-help aspect of this book. The author included some science - studies, explanation of the biological/neurological aspects involved in various sexual processes-- but felt a little too Deepak Chopra for me. The metaphors were not great- sexual self as garden, orgasm as birds or flock of birds. She should have either gone with the science *or* gone with the inspirational, feel good, nonscientific approach. Trying to use pretend science to promote Chopra-like inspirations just didn't work.

At first, I thought, even if the reader doesn't need the self help, it's still a great subject to learn more about. I am a strong believer in talking openly about sex. I saw this book on the nominee list for best nonfiction and I wanted to like it. The first half of the book was much better than the second half. I should have just stopped reading, but I thought the good would peak through again. It didn't. The author made sweeping unsupported statements and promoted generalized "cures" for sexual disfunction that seemed like maybe they might or might not work, but where is the evidence?

I realize this was supposed to be a master's class but it was not a class I feel I would learn a lot from. Sadly, March Roach's sarcastic look at sex, Bonk, taught me far more actual facts about sex. I enjoyed it much more than this.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

Please stop what you are doing and read this book.

Every one should read this book. I know it is geared towards women, but really anyone who has a vulva or is interested in spending time with one should read it.

21 of 24 people found this review helpful

very educational!

As a man who has always been fascinated by the fairer sex, I absolutely loved this audio book. It's a treasure trove of information that I had never heard before, and how it's explained is easy to understand. The performance was very well done as well. 10/10 and I might just have to buy the hard copy as well

14 of 16 people found this review helpful

Not what I was looking for

All about female empowerment- informative but very repetitive

Just not quite what I was looking for

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

This is for women not men

If you are a women trying to feel comfortable about your body read the first two chapters and you’ll get the just.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful