Boundaries in Dating

How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships

By: Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Narrated by: Jonathan Petersen

Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins

Publisher's Summary

Boundaries in Dating offers illuminating insights for romance that can help you grow in freedom, honesty, and self-control as you pursue a healthy dating relationship that will lead to a healthy marriage.

Dating can be fun, but it's not easy. Meeting people is just one concern. Once you've met someone, then what? What do you build? Nothing, a simple friendship, or more? How do you set smart limits on physical involvement? Financial involvement? Individual responsibilities?

Respected counselors, popular radio hosts, and bestselling authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend apply the principles described in their Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries to matters of love and romance. Helping you bridge the pitfalls of dating, Boundaries in Dating unfolds a wise, biblical path to developing self-control, freedom, and intimacy in the dating process. Boundaries in Dating will help you to think, solve problems, and enjoy the journey of dating, increasing your abilities to find and commit to a marriage partner.

Full of insightful, true-life examples, this much-needed book includes such topics as:

• Recognizing and choosing quality over perfection in a dating partner.
• How to ensure that honest friendship is one vital component in a relationship.
• Preserving friendships by separating between platonic relationships and romantic interest.
• Moving past denial to deal with real relational problems in a realistic and hopeful way....and much more!

Plus, check out Boundaries family collection of books dedicated to key areas of life - marriage, raising kids, parenting teens, and leadership.

Workbooks and Spanish editions are also available. 

©2000 Henry Cloud (P)2009 Zondervan

Packed with good Godly advice

I am a single male age 23, who has never dated before. This book has given me some good healthy God fearing advice, that I think will be helpful to me when I start dating women.
The book is definitely directed towards followers of Jesus, but is still packed with advice that would also seem logical to people of other religions.
I would read this again when I find myself dating, since a lot of the information is a little bit hard to relate to without being able to mirror in your own present dating experience.
One of the best things about the book is that it is so full of real life stories that can explain their concepts practically.
This is a minor thing, but I find some of the references to the bible verses used to reinforce, that their statements are biblical, a bit weak. I believe that their advice is true, wise and rooted in love for God and others, so for me I would rather be without some of the bible references that don't really fit in.
I find the speaker easy to understand and fine to listen to.

The first Boundaries book was much more helpful.

The narrator was a little hard for me to listen to on my drive to work. zzzzzZZZZZZ
The original Boundaries book was amazing and super helpful. If you just listen to or read that one, you will not need to hear or read this one. If you only want to read or hear this one it gives good insight into dating with boundaries. I felt like I learned more from the one chapter about dating in the Boundaries book than I did from this whole book. The biggest takeaway I got from this is that dating is not the arena to achieve self love because it is high risk with low commitment. It is better to work on that with friends, family, church and a good support system first. This advice was very valuable for me, but was also addressed in the first book.

Great advice, weird narrator

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Wise, Godly, down-to-earth advice from a psychotherapeutic perspective.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Boundaries in Dating?

Loved all the personal examples.

How could the performance have been better?

Why did the narrator have to say matoor and imatoor instead of mature and immature? Why? Seems silly but the word is used very frequently throughout the book so it really grates on you after a while.

Great book, very helpful

Drs. Cloud and Townsend are very good at pointing out many specific areas where boundaries are needed, and the consequences that may occur if they are not put in place.

Eye-opening info

Really good read for singles, but there's good stuff in here too for people with troubled relationships. A must read.

This is a must read for anyone dating!!!

Loved this book! opened my eyes, heart, mind and spirit. Needed to stop and take notes a lot, so driving and listening was sometimes difficult. I ended up taking a ton of notes to refer back to. Wish I would have had this book in my younger years. I am learning,g why I am still single at 47 years old. But, its never too late to learn!

Great message, poor performance.

Would you be willing to try another one of Jonathan Petersen’s performances?

Hesitant, but willing. Jonathan's pronunciations of err and maturity / immaturity proved to be very distracting from the message. I found myself frustrated with his pronunciation of maturity / immaturity, which made those words an extremely noticeable amount in the book.

Wish I'd read this sooner!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes definitely. This is great, practical advice that should be compulsory reading for everyone. It teaches how to set boundaries, not only in dating but in life.

Who was your favorite character and why?

It's not a story book so no characters.

Which character – as performed by Jonathan Petersen – was your favorite?

It's not a story book so no characters.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

It made me nod in agreement so many times. It also helped me see things very clearly and understand behavior and why relationships failed in the past.

Any additional comments?

The book is really well written and the Doctors give so many real life examples to illustrate the learning. I really enjoyed it. I'm going to read all their other books. It offers great Bible based advice, without being judgmental or "preachy". Excellent read!

How to be SUCCESSFUL in dating!!!

This book had to be sent to me by God. I had no idea that I would relate to the examples used in this book so much. The advice is good, healthy, doable, practical, biblical based advice on how having correct boundaries can make your dating experiences better and more successful. I wish that I had read this book a long time ago. I am putting this advice into action in my new relationship and we are both reaping the benefits already!

solid advice for dating and communicating

this was solid advice for dating, particularly for someone who tends to be a people pleaser. setting boundaries helps with communication and requires saying things that i often expect the other person to know. it requires that i say what i want, need, like/dislike, which ultimately leads to a better relationship - or to the clear end to a doomed relationship.

Simply about honesty & being committed to reality

I find this audiobook to be a very Downey to esrth sobering map to process a tough love mentality encouraging one to own ones choices 100% - as well as ones personal responsibility 100% connecting to faith...I am a bit surprised I find the teachings of this book completely opposite to much heard & seen in contexts of faith...Some extreme mindset of finding an equal in faith - but much is refreshing practical knowledge of how to deal w real- life challemges & thrive . IN REALITY.

Loved it!!

Thank you. Just what I needed on my dating journey. It breaks down different scenarios and you can easily picture your life or whatever place you are in right now with the scenario being painted. Very practical book.

Heart-opening and kind book❤️

Thank you Dear Doctor Cloud and Doctor Townsend for your work and compassion and for being an instrument in God’s hands to help all those entering the dating scene or being in it 🙏✨ I learned about your other book - Boundaries: when to say Yes and how to say No - from a Pastor Amvrosiy from Ukraine and having started reading it came across an Audible suggestion for this book - Boundaries in Dating - and I’m glad I did! It was something I was looking for as I am in a second year of my self-initiated quarantine after a heartbreaking split from a boyfriend of 2 years with whom we planned to move-in together before marriage. I am now in a place where I can learn about healthy dating in order to prepare my dating strategy prior to entering the dating scene when the quarantine is complete.

totally opened my eyes!!

I've been living under a cloud before I listened to this. really opened my eyes as to how I've behaved in the past. I definitely feel this will improve my dating future and my ability to find true mature love.

Found this too serious and a tad legalistic at times

I loved the Boundaries book which is his best one. This was great to begin with but saying to someone “I’m sensitive and hurt easily” would be such a turn off. It was too clinical at times and I feel wasn’t half as good as the main boundaries book.

Great book

Loved the handy hints and tips with regards to dating, honestly it’s like a mind-field. Not anymore. Love how the authors made sense from an intelligent and practical way, how good dating will incur great results, equally how making the wrong choice is detrimental for everyone involved. Very good book, boundaries are for our good, use them wisely and they’ll steer you clearly.

stocatto voice over is very cardboard

struggling to finish this book. it's very rudimentary and if you are older with life and relationship experience it's not really the book for you. plus the reading is so frustrating and cardboard. ..he may as well be reading a grocery list.

I found it condescending and basic adding no real value to my relationship life.

Absolute epiphany

This book is a godsend! I was hesitant in picking it up as I took it to be a typical book on "Christian dating". But the Drs approach to the topic is clear cut, relatable and refreshing. Not overbearing at all in referencing Christian principles and scriptures. Must read for all, believers or not!

Religious

In my opinion Not particularly helpful if you are not particularly religious- continual bible speak distracts from the more valuable content

Bible-bashing dating advice

What would have made Boundaries in Dating better?

Taking the church, god and bible out of it. I am certain there are plenty of people out there who lead perfectly good lives and date in a reasonable way without being bashed over the head with the bible.

You didn’t love this book--but did it have any redeeming qualities?

I would have kept it if it was a non-religious psychological/self-improvement advice.

Any additional comments?

Why not try "The tale of two brains" (male brain v. female brain, find on YouTube and listen past the churchly remarks - a blast of comedy with the same message - and it's free)