When the early romance settles down, the realities of building a life together start to emerge. Money, privacy, career ambitions, children, education and family expectations can all become sources of tension.

In this episode, Matt and Graham explore why couples often leave these important conversations until it's too late, how seemingly small differences can reveal much bigger differences in values, and why being in a relationship doesn't mean having to share absolutely everything.

We discuss:

• How much privacy and independence should you retain in a relationship?
• Should couples share everything, including phones, finances and personal history?
• What happens when you have very different attitudes to money, ambition and career?
• Why attraction and choosing someone to build a life with aren't necessarily the same thing.
• How to navigate disagreements about children, schools and major life decisions.
• Why trying to persuade your partner to agree with you can make things worse.

The aim isn't to agree on everything or eliminate every source of friction. It's to understand what matters to each of you, have better conversations and make decisions together without resentment building up along the way.

Because love is important. But it doesn't automatically resolve the practical business of building a life together.

You can work with Graham here: www.grahamjohnston.uk

You can work with Matt here: www.matwotton.com

Having children puts enormous demands on a relationship. More childcare, more responsibility, less time together and, often, two people who are running on fumes by the end of the day.

In this episode of Crazy in Love, Matt and Graham look at why modern parenting can leave couples feeling disconnected, resentful and increasingly like they're on different teams. And why the usual relationship advice to spend more time together can feel pretty useless when there simply aren't enough hours in the day.

We explore whether we're expecting too much of ourselves as parents, why we might need to scale back some of the things we ask of our children, and how a few practical changes to family life could create more space for the relationship.

We also get into the uncomfortable stuff: why some parents find it so hard to set boundaries, why keeping the kids happy can sometimes come at the expense of your partner, and whether the children are really the reason you're not spending time together.

The central idea is a simple one: you can't keep adding more to an already full life. Sometimes, you need to take something away.

We discuss how to make that happen, how to experiment with small changes, and why being a good parent doesn't mean making sure your children are happy with every decision you make.

If you're finding that family life is taking over your relationship, this is a practical conversation about what you might need to do differently.

You can work with Graham here: www.grahamjohnston.uk

You can work with Matt here: www.matwotton.com

What does a good relationship actually look like?

Couples therapists spend a lot of time talking about what goes wrong in relationships. But what if we turned the question around?

In this episode of Crazy in Love, Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton look at what a genuinely healthy relationship looks like — not a perfect relationship, not one without conflict, and certainly not one where two people magically meet all of each other’s needs.

Instead, they work through 12 qualities of a psychologically healthy relationship, from being able to tolerate your partner’s imperfections and accept that your memory isn't always the whole truth, to handling criticism without immediately going on the defensive, asking for what you actually want, and accepting that some differences simply can't be solved.

They also tackle some of the more uncomfortable ideas that often get missed in relationship advice: you don't get to complain about something you haven't asked for; independence isn't a betrayal; conflict is inevitable; fairness doesn't necessarily mean 50/50; and your relationship probably shouldn't be a permanent self-improvement project.

There’s plenty here that couples will recognise — and probably a few things they won't agree with.

So, what actually makes a relationship work? This is our attempt to answer that question.

You can find the list of 12 qualities here.

You can work with Graham here: www.grahamjohnston.uk

You can work with Matt here: www.matwotton.com