500 Dates Audiobook By Mark Miller cover art

500 Dates

Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars

Preview

Audible Standard 30-day free trial

Try Standard free
Select 1 audiobook a month from our entire collection of titles.
Yours as long as you’re a member.
Get unlimited access to bingeable podcasts.
Standard auto renews for $8.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

500 Dates

By: Mark Miller
Narrated by: Tom Parks
Try Standard free

$8.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $16.65

Buy for $16.65

Now several years post-divorce, relationship expert and humorist Mark Miller has experienced more than 500 first dates. In 500 Dates, composed of 55 humor essays, Miller features the highlights and lowlights of those dates.

Among the true dating tales and revelations you will find in this audiobook are:

  • How Miller and his date learned the limitations of a man being too emotionally expressive. ("Most guys consider revealing more about themselves emotionally and communicating on a deeper level nearly as enjoyable as falling face-first onto an ice pickor spending the rest of eternity listening to Celine Dion music.")
  • Miller's realization that sometimes men have to pay a heavy price for their dates' previous relationship behavior. ("At least six different times, God has matched me up with a woman who has had a long history of wild, impulsive, passionate, no-holds-barred sex. She invariably finds something lacking in that lifestyle and decides to make a change. Starting with the very next man she dates. Who is invariably me.")
  • Miller's misguided social experiment to separate dating from status by spending less than $20 on the date, purchasing everything at a 99 store, and what he learned, as a result, about his date and himself. ("I realize now that on the journey of romance, thrift and creativity will take you only so far - for the rest of the trip, you'll need MasterCard.")
  • Revealed for the first time the inner workings of a man's brain. ("Cerebellum. Responsible for coordinating movement and maintaining balance. Used primarily when a man has had eight beers and is endeavoring to make his way to the bathroom without tripping over the dog and pulling the fish tank over on top of them.")
  • How Miller took his date to his ex-wife's holiday party only to find his date and his ex-wife bonding like high school girlfriends.
  • And more.

©2015 Mark Miller (P)2014 Audible Inc.
Love, Dating & Attraction Dating Witty Relationships Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Marriage Social Sciences
All stars
Most relevant
Most of the jokes and information is old and tired. I didn’t learn any useful information, change my perspective about dating, and I didn’t find anything funny. I am sorry I used a credit for this. You might enjoy this if you are Jewish, a man, and over fifty.

I just didn’t feel it.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

The book is a series of essays and anecdotes some that are completely made up for humor and others that are from Mark Miller's personal dating life. He is a middle aged divorced man who goes on a lot of dates.

Overall though I liked the book it humanizes the dating process, many other "dating" books are really how to manipulations but Mark Miller seems to be in a genuine search for a soul mate. I think the Jewish lens he views the world in helps to balance the worldly concerns of sex and money with the spiritual ones of love and friendship; also the humor helps to hold interest and make it fun. Overall worth a listen.

Good for a Free Audiobook

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

This book is from a time before dating apps had algorithms designed to milk money out of men.

Outdated

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

As a female, I found it very intriguing to hear the male perspective and the hilarious stories!

Enjoyable and hilarious listen!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Poorly told make believe stories and imaginings. No good information and all told from a beta male mindset.

Don’t spend money on this!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

See more reviews