Unmasked

My Life Solving America's Cold Cases

By: Paul Holes, Robin Gaby Fisher

Narrated by: Paul Holes

This program is read by the author.

From the detective who found the Golden State Killer, a memoir of investigating America’s toughest cold cases and the rewards–and toll–of a life solving crime.

I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don’t even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I’m drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can’t shake.

Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I’ve had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It’s only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.

When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.

But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy—even fatherhood—because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It’s something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. “I don’t know if I can solve your case,” I whisper. “But I promise I will do my best.”

It is a promise I know I can keep.

A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books

Critic reviews

"[Paul Holes's] memoir grabs its reader in a stranglehold and proves more fascinating than fiction and darker than any noir narrative."
—Los Angeles Magazine

"Fans of true crime will love every page of Unmasked. It is a wildly engaging and painfully honest read that will appeal to anyone curious about the lives of those who pursue justice for voiceless victims."
—San Francisco Chronicle

"An exceptional memoir... his unflinching look at the emotional toll the more than 27 years he spent working in Contra Costa County in the San Francisco Bay Area took on him and his family distinguishes this from similar true crime narratives."
—Publishers Weekly, starred review

"Paul Holes takes you on a fascinating and sometimes disturbing journey inside the mind of someone who hunts monsters for a living—and in order to live. And his insights on Michelle McNamara—whose loss I still feel every day—are incredible."
—Patton Oswalt

"True-crime superstar Holes takes readers on a gripping journey into the mind of a cold-case detective…a thoughtful yet fast-paced and absorbing amalgamation of personal memoir and true-crime novel. Crime junkies and nonfiction fans will clamor to get their hands on this book."
—Booklist

"The stories [Holes] tells—and the solutions to the crimes—are fascinating. Grisly, matter-of-fact, and just the thing for aspiring detectives."
—Kirkus

"Unmasked is a stunning, brutally honest memoir about a complex, highly gifted forensic scientist who sacrificed his own personal life, even his marriage and fatherhood, in his relentless pursuit of monsters."
—Mystery & Suspense Magazine

"Paul Holes is a natural criminal profiler with a talent for describing how the process works. In his book, Unmasked, he marches the reader into the real world of criminal behavior and blends his forensic expertise with his unfiltered personal life experiences as he tackles both cold cases and modern crimes. This is a book you will not be able to put down."
—Dr. Ann Wolbert Burgess, author of A Killer By Design and co-author of Sexual Homicide

The whole Holes

I've been a fan of Paul Holes since #hotforholes was a thing. I love this memoir because it puts a lot of things in the GSK time-line together for me. To be honest, I really loved hearing how his career pieced together too. I admire how candid and vulnerable Mr. Holes allowed himself to be. I felt like I could hear his throat tighten as he recalled the particularly painful moments of his career spent with victims/survivors, like you could tell it really gets to him, even though he comes off as a stoic kind of guy. Paul Holes is just a good dood! When are they going to offer him the Unsolved Mysteries host roll?! I love me some Robert Stack, and Mr. Hole's delivery, and tone make him perfect for reprising the iconic role. At least that is my opinion!

Excellent

Very Intense and Interesting.
Excellent behind the scenes portrayal of figuring out and capturing the scum of the world. Excellent biography of Paul's thoughts, feelings, and fears from his past to the present.
Thank You Thank You Thank You Paul... for all you have done and sacrificed to make our world a safer place. God Bless You. ❤️

Bourbon and Crime

I only dinged one star for the in depth about the GSK. It's been covered so I would have hoped for a different one, but overall a great listen and look into someone who catches the elusive bad guys. Now I'm going to have some bourbon and solve some crimes.

Brilliant and honest!

Paul Holes bears his ‘soul’(metaphorically) in this battle ok. The narrative is engaging and the genuine sharing of his private thoughts and observations about high profile cases/suspects is refreshing and compelling. I highly recommend this book.

captivating story

I couldn't stop listening to Paul Holes tell his story. I Enjoyed every word.