Most people think they’re being “realistic” when they lead with what they don’t want. They’re not. They’re paying attention to the wrong thing, and attention is a currency. You spend it with repetition.

In this episode I break down a simple truth using two everyday scenes. First, the coffee shop example where people talk more about what they do not want than what they actually want. Then I anchor it in a personal story from my childhood: I asked my brother to bring me a seafood and crab sub from Subway, changed my mind at the last minute, and he still brought the original. Not out of spite, but because I made myself synonymous with it.

Let me be clear. I am not talking manifestation. This is not magic. This is mechanics. What you name and rehearse becomes what your mind searches for, what your mouth amplifies, and what your behavior builds around.

Then I widen it to society and politics. Criticism can be necessary, but if all you do is criticize, you become an amplifier. I make the case for becoming the antipattern instead of just calling out the pattern.

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Belts get lifted by bodies that ache. Champions smile with stitches. That is the truth under every highlight. In this episode I map the Champion Loop I use to turn pain into progress without burning out. Break down, repair, adapt, repeat. You will leave with a ten-minute drill you can run today and a model card for your team.

What you’ll hear:
• Why hurting and winning live in the same moment
• The Champion Loop: break down, repair, adapt, repeat
• Sparring vs fight night at work
• A feedback format that lands: one aim, one flaw, one drill
• Construction rules for tough seasons
• A ten-minute Champion Day Drill to start now

Rare Note:
Champions hurt. They do not panic. They finish the round.

https://www.rareonpurpose.com

Keywords: leadership, resilience, practice, feedback, performance, mindset, habit, coaching

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I hear Marlo in my head. You want it to be one way. It is the other way.
My emotions want rescue. Reality brings the bill. Most days that bill is exactly what I need to grow. In this episode I map a simple system I run when feelings and facts clash so I can lead on hard days without panic. I call it the Reality Stack. Five steps, fifteen minutes, real peace.

What you’ll hear:
• The rescue reflex vs the resolve choice
• How to read the system under the scene so you stop arguing with headlines
• Regulated transparency at work when the storm hits
• The Reality Stack: Feel, Fact, Frame, System, Step
• A 15-minute Reality Reboot you can run today

The Reality Stack (quick reference):
Feel: name the emotion out loud
Fact: write three things that stay true when your mood changes
Frame: what is this here to teach me
System: incentives, gatekeepers, constraint, scoreboard
Step: one move in 24 hours that respects all four

rareonpurpose.com.

Thinking

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Common once said, “My circumstance is between Cabrini and Love Jones.”
That line has always hit home for me.

This episode is about what it means to grow up between struggle and success — to carry both stories inside you and figure out how to honor them both.

My parents worked at the United States Postal Service. They were solid, steady people who built their lives around reliability. But when they divorced, everything shifted. Our plans fell apart, and so did our sense of safety. My mom went from holding things together to fighting for survival, raising us in neighborhoods that tested her every day.

We ended up in the hood, not because of bad choices but because life rerouted us. Still, my mom refused to let that be the end of the story. She crafted a master plan to get us out and keep us out — no matter how many times we got evicted. Every time we packed up, she’d find another place to land. The zip codes changed, but her determination didn’t.

That’s where I started to understand the quiet power of dual consciousness.
I was living a suburban reality we could barely afford, surrounded by people who never had to think about survival. But I also carried the wisdom of those who did. I could hear both sides of the story, read both rooms, and move through both worlds without losing myself.

Cabrini–Green represented everything my mom was trying to save us from — systemic limits and daily struggle. Love Jones represented everything she believed we could become — creative, confident, and fully realized.

Somewhere between those two worlds is where I grew up.
That space in between became my education.

Now, as a father, I’m raising kids who live on the other side of that dream. They don’t know what it feels like to watch the lights get cut off or move overnight. Their normal is the stability I once prayed for.

That’s a blessing, but it comes with a challenge.
How do I teach them the value of struggle without recreating it?
How do I help them develop gratitude when they’ve only known comfort?

This episode is about that tension — the beauty and the burden of being the bridge.

Because the truth is, being between worlds doesn’t mean you’re confused.
It means you’re fluent.

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[THEME]:
What it really means to move forward—and how fear loses its power once you do.

[SUMMARY]:
Andre 3000 once said, “Spaceships don’t come equipped with rearview mirrors.”
It sounds clever until life puts you in a moment where looking back feels safer than moving forward.

A few weeks ago, I went in for a simple physical. While they drew blood, the room tilted and went white. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor. The fear that followed was worse than the fainting itself. I didn’t want to go back. But the next week, I did—and that moment taught me something simple but deep: fear doesn’t disappear, it just waits for you to move first.

In this episode I break down what that means in real life. Why reflection matters but fixation steals momentum. Why our design is closer to a spaceship than a sedan. And how learning to default to action can turn panic into clarity.

It’s not just about courage; it’s about learning to see through the windshield that’s already bigger than the mirror behind you. Because spaceships don’t come equipped with rearview mirrors—and neither should we.

[ANCHOR_MOMENTS]:
• The doctor’s office and the moment of blackout
• The quiet hesitation before going back
• The decision to move anyway
• The realization that action rewires fear

[SIGNAL_WORDS]:
fear, movement, forward motion, reflection, rumination, mindset, Andre 3000, growth, Rare On Purpose, clarity, leadership, self-awareness

[RARE_NOTE]:
“Fear doesn’t disappear. It just waits for you to move first.”

[CTA]:
Listen now on all platforms. Think deeper. Move different.

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We talk about mentors, coaches, and leaders shaping us—but what if life itself is your coach? In this episode, I break down why you need to stop seeing everything as “happening to you” and start seeing it as feedback for you. From culture to bias to personal opinions, none of it controls the movement of life. Life is rolling on, teaching, shaping, and guiding—if you’re willing to pay attention. Think of it like a people-mover at the airport: step on, let it carry you forward, and learn what it’s showing you along the way.

This one isn’t just motivation—it’s perspective. And it might change how you see every challenge in front of you.

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You’ve been praised your whole life for being adaptable. For surviving chaos. For doing more with less. But here’s the truth: survival skills don’t scale. As leaders, the very instincts that kept us alive can destroy our ability to lead. In this episode, I break down the trap of over-adapting — through the lens of faith, trauma, and the workplace. I share how my upbringing gave me a PhD in survival, how it built my career, and how it nearly cost me in leadership — and most importantly, what I had to do to break free. If you’ve ever been told to ‘just make it work,’ this one is for you.

#RareFrequency #TechCoachUnc #LeadershipUncut #FromSurvivalToStewardship #AuthenticLeadership #TraumaToTriumph #BlackVoicesInTech #FaithAndWork #AdaptiveLeadership

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Some people just have it—that spark, that energy that makes others follow. We call them “born leaders.” But here’s the truth: raw talent without sharpening gets wasted, and plenty of so-called “non-naturals” have outworked the naturals to become exceptional leaders.

In this episode, Jay Floyd breaks down the myth of the born leader, shares personal stories (including a powerful lesson from his 11-year-old daughter), and unpacks why leadership is both gifted and grown. From sports analogies to real-world coaching insights, you’ll walk away with a new lens on what makes a leader last.

👉 Whether you believe you’re a born leader or you’re building brick by brick, this episode will challenge you to sharpen your edge and put in the reps.

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