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In this episode of Unshakeable Confidence, I’m talking about a pattern so many high-achieving women struggle with—being “too independent.”

For years, I was proud of being the strong one who never needed help. But behind the strength, I felt heavy, overwhelmed, and painfully alone. What I didn’t realize was that my independence wasn’t confidence—it was protection. A survival strategy I learned when support didn’t feel safe or available.

I share personal stories from my childhood, my marriage, and my career to show how this protective independence develops—and why it eventually leads to burnout, isolation, and emotional exhaustion.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The 5 most common signs of unhealthy independence
• Why asking for or receiving help feels so uncomfortable
• The difference between independence, dependence, and interdependence
• A simple parts-work process to help you feel safer with connection
• Small steps you can take to stop doing everything alone

Moving from independence to interdependence has changed my life. I feel more supported, more connected, and more myself than ever before—and I want the same for you.

• Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
• I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
• Or email me at Coco@CocoDuanCoaching.com with the subject line: “Consultation.”
• Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫

• Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
• Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan

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In this episode, I’m opening up about one of the most essential human needs that most of us never learned to name — the need to be truly seen. Not for what we do. Not for what we achieve. Not for how impressive we look on paper. But for who we are at the deepest, most human level.

I share the story of the first time in my life I ever felt genuinely seen — not for my accomplishments, but for my emotions, my struggles, and my inner world. It happened five years ago with my therapist, long before I ever became a coach. And it changed everything about how I saw myself, how I led, and the kind of life I believed I deserved.

For so much of my life, I was praised for being the high achiever, the girl who kept climbing, the woman who could “handle anything.” But inside, I felt small, shaky, and unseen. I didn’t understand why external success never made me feel confident. I didn’t understand why compliments felt uncomfortable. I didn’t understand why, even as a Fortune 500 executive, I still didn’t feel “good enough.”

Now I do.
And in this episode, I walk you through exactly why.

You’ll learn:

• Why being seen is a fundamental human need — not a luxury.
• How childhood mirroring shapes your identity, self-trust, and confidence.
• What happens when this need isn’t met — including the subtle “shadow expressions” like overexplaining, name-dropping, dominating conversations, or chasing achievements you don’t even want.
• Why high-achieving women often feel both hungry to be seen and terrified of being seen.
• The three-step path to getting this need met in adulthood — safely, compassionately, and powerfully.
• How being truly seen transforms your confidence, your relationships, and your leadership.
• And how, once you learn to see yourself, you naturally become someone who can deeply see others.

This isn’t just a conversation about personal growth — it’s a conversation about identity, safety, emotional healing, and becoming the grounded, confident version of yourself you were always meant to be.

If you’ve ever felt unseen…
If you’ve ever felt misunderstood…
If you’ve ever felt like you had to perform, prove, or please your way into belonging…
This episode will feel like a deep exhale.

And if you want support in being truly seen — and learning how to see yourself with clarity, compassion, and truth — I would love to meet you. You can book a free 1:1 consultation using the link in the show notes.

• Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
• I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
• Or email me at Coco@CocoDuanCoaching.com with the subject line: “Consultation.”
• Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫

• Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
• Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan

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In today’s episode, I sit down with my dear friend and longtime client, Natalie Lee, who is now a Vice President at Louis Vuitton and one of the calmest, most intentional leaders I know.

When we first started working together almost three years ago, Natalie was leading Asia Pacific during the pandemic, pregnant, living in Hong Kong without family support, and running on empty. On paper, she was a high-performing executive. Inside, she was overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and in her first real season of burnout.

In this intimate conversation, Natalie shares how she went from constantly “on,” checking emails late into the night, feeling guilty for taking even one yoga class… to becoming a calm, confident, and deeply empathetic leader who protects her energy, works out at 7 a.m., and leads her team with presence and clarity.

We also talk about the deeper inner work behind her transformation—how childhood experiences with her aunts were still driving her reactions at work decades later, and how understanding her patterns helped her break the cycle of burnout from the inside out.

If you’re a high-achieving woman who feels like you “should be able to handle it” but are secretly exhausted, this episode is for you.

• Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
• I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
• Or email me at Coco@CocoDuanCoaching.com with the subject line: “Consultation.”
• Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫

• Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
• Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan

Send us a text

In this episode, I’m inviting you into one of the most important conversations we can have as high-achieving women: how to stop living from the chin up—stuck in our thoughts, analysis, and overthinking—and finally reconnect with the incredible wisdom of our bodies.

For years, I lived purely in my mind. I pushed through exhaustion. I made decisions that looked good on paper but felt wrong in my gut. I ignored every signal my body was trying to send me—until burnout, poor decisions, and emotional reactivity woke me up.

What I didn’t know then is what I teach now:
Mindset isn’t enough.
Not if your nervous system is dysregulated.
Not if your body is exhausted.
Not if your intuition has been silenced for years.

In today’s episode, I walk you through why so many high-achieving women are disconnected from their bodies—and how that disconnection fuels overthinking, indecision, burnout, people-pleasing, and constant self-doubt.

You’ll learn:

• Why your nervous system—not your thoughts—drives your confidence, clarity, and emotional resilience
• How early conditioning and hustle culture train you to override your body signals
• The hidden costs of living in your head (emotionally, physically, professionally, and financially)
• Why “just think positive” doesn’t work—and never will
• The biological science behind intuition, clarity, and embodied leadership
• A simple 3-step process to reconnect with your body today (even if you’ve been disconnected for decades)

I also share personal stories—from ignoring my intuition in corporate hiring to burning out so badly I quit my job to becoming a yoga teacher—so you can see exactly how body disconnection shows up in real life… and what becomes possible when you finally come home to yourself.

If you’re tired of overthinking, pushing through fatigue, second-guessing yourself, and feeling disconnected from what you truly want—this episode is going to feel like a reset button.

By the end, you’ll walk away with more calm, more clarity, and a renewed sense of trust in yourself—mind, heart, and body.

• Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
• I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
• Or email me at Coco@CocoDuanCoaching.com with the subject line: “Consultation.”
• Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫

• Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
• Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan

Send us a text

Have you ever received feedback that shook you to your core?
In this deeply personal episode, I share one of the biggest emotional breakthroughs I’ve had in years — how I turned a painful moment of shame into powerful growth through somatic parts work.

It started with a piece of honest feedback that hit harder than I expected. What followed was a cascade of emotions — shame, disappointment, and sadness — that revealed old survival patterns I didn’t even realize were still running the show. Through compassionate self-inquiry, somatic awareness, and support from my coach, I was able to meet the parts of me that were striving, perfecting, and overperforming… and finally give them what they’d been craving all along: love, rest, and acceptance.

In this episode, I’ll take you behind the scenes of that process — how I faced my inner critic, reparented my younger self, and reconnected with the playful, creative part of me that had been buried under years of achievement and pressure.

You’ll learn:

• How to recognize the parts of you driving overachievement and perfectionism
• Why intellectual awareness isn’t enough — and how to embody healing through somatic practice
• A simple visualization that helps you meet your younger self with compassion
• What it means to create from desire instead of pressure

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “not enough” no matter how much you do, this episode will remind you that healing is possible — and that growth often begins with the courage to feel.

• Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
• I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
• Or email me at Coco@CocoDuanCoaching.com with the subject line: “Consultation.”
• Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫

• Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
• Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan

Send us a text

After returning from a month in Asia, I spent time reflecting—not just on the trip, but on how reflection itself has shaped my growth.

For most of my life, I didn’t reflect—I ruminated. I replayed moments in my head, judged myself harshly, and wondered what was wrong with me. Reflection felt like a waste of time. It wasn’t until I started therapy and coach training that I learned what true reflection is: intentional, productive thinking that integrates our experiences and transforms them into wisdom.

In this episode, I’ll share:
✨ The key difference between reflection and rumination—and why one fuels growth while the other drains you.
🧠 The neuroscience behind why reflection helps you regulate your emotions and rewire your brain.
💫 A simple 4-step framework to build a daily reflection habit that turns every experience—good or bad—into meaningful insight.

Reflection is how we close emotional loops, learn from our past, and step into our future with clarity and calm confidence.

So join me for this episode and learn how to pause, reflect, and truly grow.

• Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
• I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
• Or email me at Coco@CocoDuanCoaching.com with the subject line: “Consultation.”
• Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫

• Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
• Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan

Send us a text

I recorded this episode from Lombok, Indonesia — a small island next to Bali — where I’ve been surfing twice a day for two weeks. Between the salt water, the wipeouts, and the stillness of the ocean, I realized something simple but profound:

We can’t stop the waves.
But we can learn to surf them.

In this episode, I share three “real-life waves” I’ve surfed lately — from unexpected home repairs to an injury on my first day at surf camp — and how nervous system regulation and parts work helped me stay grounded instead of spiraling into panic or frustration.

You’ll hear how I applied simple somatic practices to move through chaos with calm, how I befriended the inner voices that used to drive me, and how I now lead from my wise adult instead of my worried parts.

If you’ve ever felt like life keeps throwing you one wave after another — this episode is for you.

🌊 Listen in to learn how to find calm in the storm, not after it — and to remember that confidence isn’t the absence of waves, but the ability to ride them with grace.

• Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
• I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
• Or email me at Coco@CocoDuanCoaching.com with the subject line: “Consultation.”
• Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫

• Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
• Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan

Send us a text

For years, I carried an invisible weight — one that whispered, “What’s wrong with me?”

When I froze in meetings, when I couldn’t leave a painful marriage, when I burned out and couldn’t make myself care anymore… I thought I was broken.

What I didn’t realize was that what I was experiencing wasn’t weakness — it was shame. And shame is one of the biggest barriers to healing and growth.

In this episode, I share how unhealthy shame quietly drives perfectionism, people-pleasing, and burnout — and how you can begin releasing it through awareness, nervous system regulation, and safe connection.

You’ll learn:

• The key difference between healthy and unhealthy shame
• Why shame lives in the body, not the mind
• A four-step process to release shame and reconnect with your worth
• How to move from self-attack to self-compassion

If you’ve ever asked, “What’s wrong with me?” — this episode will remind you: nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken. You are enough.

💬 If this resonates, share it with a friend who’s been carrying shame silently — and let’s start healing together.

• Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
• I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
• Or email me at Coco@CocoDuanCoaching.com with the subject line: “Consultation.”
• Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫

• Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
• Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan