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Our brains love comfort, routine, and the familiar - even when the familiar keeps us stuck. In this Mindset Monday, Matt breaks down pattern recognition: why we miss our own loops, how denial and rationalization create blind spots, and how simply naming the pattern turns “I’m stuck” into something you can actually solve.

We get real about sobriety (why “the safe number is zero” for some of us), relationships (no-contact, hopium, and learning to trust actions over words), and everyday goals (sleep, screens, the gym, sugar, spending). You’ll leave with a clear 4-step playbook: identify your top three patterns, map where they always lead, own your role in keeping them alive, and install one boundary or environment change that breaks the loop.

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In this episode of Paige’s Perspective, I dig into a powerful comment from one of our listeners: “As the spouse, I’m basically told to become an expert on their addiction, yet they don’t have to become an expert on my trauma.” This one line exposes the imbalance in the recovery world. Spouses are often told to go to Al-Anon, read the Big Book, and learn about addiction, but no one tells them to study their own trauma caused by their partner or expect their partner to understand the harm they’ve caused.

I’ll share why this matters so deeply, how living in chaos rewires your brain and body, and why hyper-vigilance, self-doubt, panic, and physical symptoms are not “character defects”... they’re trauma responses. We’ll also explore different forms of betrayal trauma beyond lying and cheating, from financial secrecy to emotional neglect, broken promises, safety violations, and more.

This episode is about reclaiming the focus: your trauma, your healing, and your right to be understood. Because recovery isn’t just about learning their dopamine pathways; it’s about acknowledging how their choices have impacted you and giving yourself permission to heal.

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Matt and Paige pull the lid off a loaded topic: resentment. You’ve been told to “let it go,” to forgive, to be grateful - but what if your resentment isn’t a defect...what if it’s a warning? In this conversation, we separate toxic positivity from real safety, show how resentment protects you in unhealthy dynamics, and explain when it becomes dead weight in a healthy one. We talk early recovery (why 1–2 years of consistent change matter), why prepackaged resentment slogans only work in safe relationships, how to name patterns without gaslighting yourself, and what to ask instead of “How do I get rid of it?”- namely, “What is my resentment trying to tell me?” If you want clarity on when to hold the line and when to heal, this one’s for you.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

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We’ve all said it: “I can’t walk away, I’ve already put too much in.” That’s the sunk cost fallacy talking. In this episode, Matt breaks down why we stay in jobs, relationships, and habits that don’t serve us, and the five psychological traps that keep us stuck. More importantly, we'll share practical ways to start moving forward so you stop protecting your past and start building your future.

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In this episode, Paige talks about the difference between boundaries and expectations, how to shift your language so boundaries feel empowering instead of exhausting, and why they’re less about fairness and more about safety. Boundaries are the rules you live by — not rules for anyone else. If you’ve ever struggled with setting boundaries in relationships, family, or even daily life, this episode will help you see them as a tool for freedom, self-protection, and clarity.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

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“Should I stay or should I go?” It’s the question every spouse of an addict whispers in the dark, and the one that can paralyze you with fear, guilt, and hope. It's the question with no clear answer. It's not "leave" or "run" or any other number of invalidating things you've heard...it's also not "stay no matter that" or "In sickness and in health used to mean something". It's usually somewhere in between - unless there's abuse - and yes, addiction is a form of abuse. But we're going to discuss it with nuance.

In this episode, Matt breaks down the truth behind that question so you can finally stop spinning in circles and start discerning what’s right for you.

You’ll learn:

• The real reasons you tolerate so much (and why your biology fights against leaving).
• How to separate survival wiring from reality so you can see the relationship clearly.
• The gut-check questions that cut through denial, like: Would they have stuck around for you?
• Why expectations are setting you up for heartbreak.
• What to do if you can’t leave yet—and how to lower your expectations for survival without losing yourself.
• The non-negotiables that prove sobriety isn’t enough without growth and accountability.

By the end of this episode, you won’t just be asking “Should I stay or should I go?” - you’ll have a better idea, and possibly even the answer on how to answer it for yourself.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

On the web:
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Getting sober is one thing. Staying sober - living sober in a world where alcohol is everywhere - is another challenge entirely. In this episode of Mindset Monday, Matt dives into what it really looks like to be sober day-to-day, from battling boredom and navigating social situations to understanding the brain science behind why everything feels flat at first.

Matt shares practical strategies, personal stories, and the mindset shifts that carried him through the hard moments: why cravings pass in 15 minutes, how to survive your “firsts” without alcohol, and how to make sobriety part of your identity rather than a punishment. You’ll hear about transitional addictions, why consistency matters more than perfection, and why the phrase “I don’t drink” is so much more powerful than “I can’t drink.”

Whether you’re new to recovery or years in, this episode is about more than avoiding alcohol - it’s about building a life you don’t want to escape from.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

On the web:
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Support the Show:
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Online Course:
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In this episode of Paige’s Perspective, I’m breaking down the truth about betrayal trauma — and why it’s so much more than cheating. From financial betrayal to chronic lies, gaslighting, broken promises, and crossed boundaries, betrayal in a relationship takes many forms and leaves deep wounds. Too often, betrayed partners get slapped with the “codependent” label, which shifts blame away from the person who caused the harm and piles shame on someone already hurting. I’ll share real-life examples, explain how betrayal trauma impacts your brain and body, and talk about how the recovery world needs to shift its focus from pathologizing survival instincts to supporting real healing.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

On the web:
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Support the Show:
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Online Course:
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Use code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!

Soberlink Device:
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