On today's episode, I talk with Joanna Curry-Sartori, founder of the Self-Leadership Collaborative and author of The Self-Led Educator. We explore this idea of how to bring IFS into everyday life, to invite more Self Energy into our conversations and interactions.

Joanna teaches us her PAUSE model, a five-step process to help you slow things down and notice what's happening inside before you respond. Sometimes it's in moments where you can feel yourself starting to react, or a conversation begins to shift. Instead of pushing through, you pause, get curious about your parts, and then return to the interaction.

• How to bring IFS into everyday moments
• PAUSE as a way to slow down and notice what's happening inside
• Using IFS in relationships, parenting, and classrooms
• How to stay with your parts instead of reacting
• What do you notice in yourself right before you react?
• What can change when you turn inward first

Joanna Curry-Sartori, LMFT, is the Founder and President of the Self-Leadership Collaborative. She leads work focused on bringing Internal Family Systems into everyday life—at home, at work, in schools, and in communities. With over twenty years of experience working with young people, educators, parents, and community leaders, her work centers on helping people access and live from Self leadership together.

Joanna is the author of The Self-Led Educator: An IFS Guide to Create Calm, Compassionate, and Confident Learning Communities. Learn more at www.selfleadershipcollaborative.com

This episode is sponsored by Souliology.

Souliology offers retreats and immersive learning experiences for IFS professionals, many led by IFS Senior Lead Trainers and eligible for continuing education credits.

Their programs support deep professional and personal growth, offering space to step away from the demands of daily life so you can return to your practice more present and resourced for the clients you serve.

Souliology: Where growth meets depth. Learn more at souliology.com

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

On today's episode I welcome Nitsan Joy Gordon, a dance movement therapist, IFS practitioner, and peacebuilder who lives in Israel.

Nitsan shares about growing up in Israel, living near the border, and what it's like to live in a place where war and trauma have been part of daily life for generations.

She also tells the story of how Internal Family Systems changed her own life. A powerful experience at Esalen with Dick Schwartz inspired her to use IFS in her work back home.

Nitsan leads Together Beyond Words, an organization bringing Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through deep listening and connection. Her work is guided by the belief that pain that is not transformed is transmitted.

After the attacks of October 7 and the immense grief and trauma that followed, Nitsan realized the need for healing had grown beyond what her organization had been doing. Today nearly 80 volunteers are offering ongoing support, and dozens of groups have been created where Israelis and Palestinians can process trauma, grief, and fear together.

As you listen, I invite you to notice your own parts. What comes up for you as you hear these stories? What do you feel in your body?

For me, this conversation was a reminder of the power of curiosity, one-on-one connection, and the courage it takes to stay present and open in our divided world.

• What it's like living in Israel today.

• Nitsan's organization Together Beyond Words, which brings Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through shared healing.

• The idea that "pain that is not transformed is transmitted."

• A powerful IFS session she had with Dick Schwartz.

• How the events of October 7 changed her work.

• Why people need separate spaces to grieve before they can reunite.

• When she realized the level of trauma requires an "army of healers."

• How the Healing for Peace initiative grew from a handful of volunteers to nearly 80.

• Why facilitators working in conflict zones are learning IFS tools like unblending and working with polarizations.

Nitsan Joy Gordon is a Dance/Movement Therapist, IFS therapist, and peacebuilder who has been working in Israel/Palestine for over three decades. Her work lives at the meeting point of movement, deep listening, and compassionate presence, creating spaces where pain shaped by conflict can be felt, witnessed, and transformed. She is the author of Together Beyond Words: Women on a Quest for Peace in the Middle East and the initiator of Army of Healers, an offering of safe spaces to feel and heal across deep divides. Learn more at: Together Beyond Words.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

On today's episode I welcome psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to the podcast.

Her book Are You Mad at Me? names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?

Meg and I talk about the fawn response, people-pleasing, and the parts of us that learned early on to stay ahead of conflict. We explore how "being nice" can disconnect us from ourselves, why grief and anger are essential to healing, and how mindfulness helps us slow down enough to notice what's really happening inside.

If you've ever swallowed your needs to keep the peace, felt resentful after saying yes, or worried that one mistake could cost you connection, our conversation will resonate.

We Explore:
• Why "Are you mad at me?" isn't really a question, but a feeling.
• The difference between being nice and being compassionate.
• How grief challenges the hope that if we try harder, we'll finally be seen.
• Small corrective experiences that help our parts learn we're actually safe.

Here's a link to the workshop she mentioned in the episode.

Meg Josephson, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and the author of the New York Times bestselling book Are You Mad at Me?, which has been translated into over 20 languages. In her private practice, she specializes in trauma-informed care through a mindfulness-based, compassion-focused lens. She holds a Master of Social Work from Columbia University.

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I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

On today's episode I chat with Keith and Courtney, cohosts of the podcast Tripping Over Love. Keith is licensed therapist and a Level 3 IFS Consultant, and Courtney is journalist and podcaster. They joined me to share their beautiful, messy love story.

We dive into the courage it takes to start over, the "trauma" of the dating apps, and how they've used Internal Family Systems (IFS) and psychedelics to navigate the "breakups, breakdowns, and breakthroughs" of their relationship .

We discuss:

• Starting relationships with truth instead of performance.

• Radical transparency — "starting with the ending" — as a foundation for trust.

• Why telling the truth early can save a relationship later.

• Loving someone while still grieving a past life.

• Speaking for parts instead of from them in moments of conflict.

• Finding the courage to try again after loss and heartbreak.

• Dating is messy: Getting honest about the "thrift store shopping" energy of dating apps.

• The difference between loving someone and being "in love."

• IFS as "four-wheel drive": Turning toward the model when relationships get stuck.

• How psychedelic-assisted journeys helped unlock grief — and create space to love again.

Extended Interview

At the end of our chat, I asked them each for one piece of advice for couples. This extended interviews is available for paid subscribers over on The One Inside Substack.

• Podcast: Tripping Over Love

• Substack

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

On today's episode I welcome my friend David Stern to the podcast. This conversation feels so perfect right now. It's full of the kind of hope we all need. David has this beautiful way of seeing the spiritual dimension in everything we do.

David calls us to remember our "Pure Soul"—the part of us that is already peaceful and cannot be destroyed. He talks about parts as "angels in disguise," the ones inside that have taken on difficult roles to protect that inner light. If you're looking for a way to stay connected to yourself in a chaotic world, this episode is a sacred reminder that your essence is always already okay.

• Why David looks for the unbridled aliveness in every person he meets.
• Reimagining our parts as refractions of a primal, divine intelligence.
• How to hold the "horrors" of the world while still choosing to love our people and stay present.
• Practicing "remembrance" to help shift out of the noise and back into your heart.

David Stern, Psy.D. is a licensed psycholgoist, certified IFS consultant, dedicated teacher, and the creator of the Thinking Heart IFS Intensive. He also co-founded IFS Healers, an online Community of Practice designed to foster connection, deepen learning, and build community among IFS practitioners. David has trained hundreds of students worldwide and has presented at the IFS International Conference and consults with practitioners globally.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode, I'm joined by my friend Daphne Fatter for a timely and honest conversation about what so many of us are navigating right now, as therapists, as parents, and as humans living in a polarized and chaotic time. We talk about nervous system overwhelm, numb and checked-out parts, news consumption, activism, community connection, and how to stay grounded when things feel "too much." We also touch on Daphne's new book: Integrating Internal Family Systems Interventions into EMDR Therapy.

In this episode:

• Why so many of us feel numb, frozen, or checked out right now

• Normalizing survival responses and protectors during times of stress

• How polarization shows up both culturally and inside our own systems

• Staying curious about people with different political perspectives

• Finding ways to stay informed without burning out on the news

• Why connection, shared humanity, and community matter so much right now

I get blended a few times in this episode and say, "I can't believe I said that." This is such a great example of how quickly any of us can blend with passionate and opinionated parts when navigating stressful topics.

Be sure to check out my extended interview with Daphne over on Substack.

Daphne Fatter, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, integrative trauma consultant, author, and international speaker specializing in integrative trauma-informed therapies. She is the author of Integrating Internal Family Systems Interventions into EMDR Therapy and is widely recognized for her expertise in blending parts work with evidence-based trauma modalities.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.