Episodios

  • A New Approach to OCD: Internal Family Systems w/ Melissa Mose

    A New Approach to OCD: Internal Family Systems w/ Melissa Mose
    Nov 10 2025
    In this deeply informative episode, I'm joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Mose, LMFT, who brings 30 years of clinical experience to the table and a unique approach to treating OCD by integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) with traditional methods like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Melissa shares how a personal experience—her daughter's sudden-onset OCD—propelled her into the world of OCD treatment and changed the direction of her career. We talk through how OCD manifests, why traditional ERP can be both life-changing and difficult for people, and how IFS can offer a more compassionate, effective way to approach healing by helping clients access their internal "Self." We also discuss Melissa's new book for clinicians, her training work, and the upcoming OCD SoCal Conference happening online on November 15–16, 2025. 🧠 What We Discuss in This Episode: Melissa's unexpected path from literature and mythology to psychotherapy The sudden-onset OCD experience with her daughter that changed everything What OCD really is – beyond stereotypes – and why it's often misunderstood Core concepts of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) How Internal Family Systems (IFS) works and its 8 C's of Self-energy Why combining IFS and ERP may provide better outcomes for some people "Self-led ERP" – Melissa's integrative model for treating OCD Real-life examples of recovery using this compassionate framework The importance of identifying OCD early, especially in kids Training efforts to help clinicians recognize and effectively treat OCD Hope for those who feel "too far gone" ⏱️ Episode Chapters & Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Melissa Mose and IFS for OCD 03:00 – Melissa's background and shift from English literature to psychology 08:00 – Early career in teen and family systems therapy 11:00 – Her daughter's sudden-onset OCD and the diagnosis of PANDAS 14:30 – Navigating confusion, misdiagnosis, and treatment discovery 18:00 – What OCD actually is: the obsession-compulsion cycle 22:00 – How compulsions generalize and worsen OCD 24:30 – Introduction to ERP and how it works 29:00 – What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? 34:00 – Comparing IFS to ACT and other models 42:00 – Mapping OCD symptoms to internal "parts" using IFS 48:00 – A self-led approach to ERP: empowering the Self 50:30 – Client success stories and examples 55:00 – The rise of IFS in the OCD world 58:00 – Is IFS evidence-based for OCD? 01:00:00 – Melissa's "Self-led ERP" model explained 01:02:00 – Workbook and practical tools coming soon 01:04:00 – How to get started with IFS 01:08:00 – Inside Out, visualization, and self-awareness 01:10:00 – Making IFS for OCD more accessible worldwide 01:12:00 – Final thoughts: hope and next steps for those struggling 📚 Resources & Links from the Episode 🔹 Melissa Mose's Website https://www.melissamosemft.com/ 🔹 IFS for OCD Resources and Courses https://www.ifsforocd.com/blog 🔹 Melissa's Book: Internal Family Systems Therapy for OCD: A Clinician's Guide 📘 On Amazon: Buy here 📘 On Routledge: https://www.routledge.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-for-OCD-A-Clinicians-Guide/Mose/p/book/9781032583730 🔹 OCD SoCal 2025 Online Conference (November 15–16, 2025) 🌐 Full Program Info: https://ocdsocal.org/conference/ 🎟️ Register Here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2025-online-ocd-conference-a-global-event-tickets-1531193865069?aff=oddtdtcreator 🎧 Stay Connected with Me 💌 Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com 🌐 Website: https://duffthepsych.com 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
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    1 h y 17 m
  • Celeb Chef Chris Valdes on Mental Health in Kitchens

    Celeb Chef Chris Valdes on Mental Health in Kitchens
    Nov 3 2025

    In this heartfelt and candid episode, I'm joined by Chef Chris Valdes—TV personality, cookbook author, and lifelong culinary artist—to talk about his powerful personal journey through the culinary world and the mental health struggles he's faced along the way. From growing up in a Cuban restaurant in Miami to rising to national TV fame, Chris has seen both the bright lights and the dark corners of the kitchen. He shares stories of family, grief, hustle, and healing—including why he took a year off from everything to rediscover himself.

    Whether you're in food service, struggling with burnout, or just love a good story with heart and spice, this one's for you.

    Timestamps / Chapters:

    [00:00:00] Intro & Chris's background
    [00:03:00] Earliest food memory: the flan and whipped cream incident
    [00:06:45] Growing up in a family restaurant
    [00:08:30] Father's imprisonment and family disruption
    [00:13:00] Early entrepreneurial spirit (orange hustling!)
    [00:17:00] High school struggles & turning point with Le Cordon Bleu
    [00:23:00] Launching his catering company at 19
    [00:26:00] First experience with depression & thoughts of ending it
    [00:29:00] Hitting a wall after a breakup & GMA meltdown
    [00:33:00] Psychedelic healing ceremony in Malibu
    [00:38:00] Rediscovering self through solitude, therapy, and boundaries
    [00:43:00] Toxic kitchen culture and normalizing mental health discussions
    [00:47:00] Holiday catering chaos and internal pressure
    [00:52:00] Advice on rest, recovery, and choosing yourself
    [00:56:00] What's next: books, new management, and the slow lane
    [00:57:00] Signature nostalgic dish
    [00:59:00] Go-to Latin spices (cumin, garlic, cilantro)
    [01:01:00] What young Chris would say to 2025 Chris
    [01:02:30] Where to follow and final thoughts

    Links -
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chefchrisvaldes

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chefchrisvaldes

    His cookbook - One With the Kitchen: https://www.amazon.com/One-Kitchen-Recipes-stories-inspired/dp/0578886456

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    1 h y 3 m
  • Dr. Andrea Martinez Talks Gangs, Loss, Depression, and Learning Discernment.

    Dr. Andrea Martinez Talks Gangs, Loss, Depression, and Learning Discernment.
    Oct 10 2025

    Friends, welcome back to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. This is my first interview back after a bit of a journey. I thought there was no better way to kick off this next phase of the podcast than by introducing you to a friend and brilliant human that I met in the interim.

    Dr. Amy Andrea Martinez is a professor of sociology with a focus on Chicano gang culture, incarceration, and abolition. She is a total badass, and she gets vulnerable about her experiences in this conversation. We discuss how her younger brother's arrest, the development of her identity as a Xicana woman, her experiences with depression and suicidality, and her decision to build armor around her heart this year before diving back into the heart of academia and book-writing. I really hope you enjoy this one.

    In this conversation, Dr. Martinez mentions this book: https://www.amazon.com/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life/dp/1443456624

    Stay connected:

    Weekly newsletter: https://robertduff.substack.com – free tips, Q&A, and community updates.

    My website: https://duffthepsych.com – articles, resources, and ways to work with me.

    - Books & guides: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B00NDY4THK?ccs_id=5c5cac88-b920-4fc3-809c-f592ad3b55d3 – practical mental-health guides and workbooks.

    - Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych – daily insights, behind-the-scenes, and community chats.
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    1 h y 15 m
  • The Podcast is Coming Back.

    The Podcast is Coming Back.
    Oct 1 2025
    Episode Summary:

    In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Duff returns to the mic after a hiatus to share what's been going on behind the scenes with The Hardcore Self Help Podcast. He opens up about an almost-acquisition of the show by a larger mental health organization—a deal that initially looked promising but ultimately fell through. With transparency and vulnerability, Dr. Duff reflects on the emotional and professional impact of that experience, explains why the podcast paused, and announces the exciting new direction it's headed in.

    What You'll Hear In This Episode:

    • Why the podcast went quiet for a while

    • A behind-the-scenes look at the attempted acquisition of the show

    • The emotional and logistical toll of being let down by a potential deal

    • Reflections on past professional disappointments outside of clinical work

    • What's next: rebranding, new episode formats, and a stronger emphasis on interviews

    • Why connection and personal stories will be the heart of the podcast moving forward

    • Dr. Duff's renewed commitment to amplifying diverse voices and lived experiences

    • Updates on the "Bipolar Answers" audiobook and Substack content

    • Thoughts on staying consistent while prioritizing quality over quantity

    Timestamps:

    • 00:00 – 00:52 — Welcome back! What this episode is about

    • 00:52 – 02:00 — The podcast was almost sold—here's how it started

    • 02:00 – 03:26 — Meeting the company, expectations, and initial excitement

    • 03:26 – 06:04 — Multiple meetings and flying out to pitch in person

    • 06:04 – 08:00 — In-person meetings and positive vibes, but no details yet

    • 08:00 – 10:24 — Delays, excuses, and finally: the deal falls through

    • 10:24 – 12:25 — Processing the disappointment and reflecting on past letdowns

    • 12:25 – 13:21 — Token compensation offered, but trust was broken

    • 13:21 – 14:00 — What's next: staying open to future partnerships

    • 14:00 – 15:22 — New focus: interviews over general Q&A

    • 15:22 – 16:48 — The unique value of human connection in storytelling

    • 16:48 – 17:15 — Rebranding plans and more diverse guest features

    • 17:15 – 18:17 — Finishing the audiobook, editing, and prepping new interviews

    • 18:17 – 19:05 — Where to find Dr. Duff in the meantime and the new YouTube direction

    Links & Resources:

    • Website: https://duffthepsych.com

    • Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

    • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

    • Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

    • Substack: https://robertduff.substack.com

    Want to Help Relaunch the Show?

    If you're excited about the return of the podcast, be sure to subscribe, share the new episodes with your community, and leave a review wherever you listen. Every bit of support helps relaunch this phoenix from the ashes.
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    19 m
  • 437: Multicultural Identity, Somatic Healing, and Embodied Code Switching w/ Marcia Bonato Warren

    437: Multicultural Identity, Somatic Healing, and Embodied Code Switching w/ Marcia Bonato Warren
    Apr 18 2025
    In this insightful interview, I'm joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body. Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a Brazilian and Native American woman navigating multiple cultural worlds—and how her lived experience shaped her professional path and inspired her new book. This episode is a rich blend of personal storytelling, professional insight, and hope for a more connected, empathetic world. Key Discussion Points: Marcia's multicultural background growing up between Pueblo traditions and Brazilian culture What it means to experience culture somatically when language isn't accessible The definition and practice of embodied code switching How somatic therapy works and how the body holds trauma, history, and healing Cultural embodiment and the importance of body-based awareness across social, emotional, and environmental realms The internal work of bridging identities that may feel in conflict Intergenerational trauma and healing as a form of cultural resilience Marcia's new book as a form of protest and empowerment amid sociopolitical turmoil The value of curiosity and reclaiming our sense of wonder Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Marcia and her multicultural upbringing 04:30 – Advocating through names and early sense of identity 09:00 – Growing up between cultures and learning through somatic experience 14:00 – Noticing what it feels like to "not belong" in any cultural space 17:00 – The physical experience of fitting in (or not) 20:00 – What is somatic counseling and body-based psychotherapy? 24:00 – Holding multiple identities and forming relationships between them 28:00 – Embodied code switching: definitions and origins 35:00 – Identity, trauma, and resilience in the nervous system 40:00 – Diversity, empathy, and learning across differences 43:30 – Somatics, symbolism, and healing in therapy 47:00 – Marcia's career in advocacy and transition to therapy 52:00 – Her new book as resistance and hope in a polarized world 58:30 – Book structure, audience, and why it matters now 1:06:00 – Final reflections on curiosity, awareness, and personal power Guest Links: Website: https://www.embodiedculture.com Book Info & Resources: https://www.embodiedcodeswitching.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marciabonatowarren Buy the Book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Movement-Identity-Multiculturalism-Awareness-Code-Switching/dp/1839978376 Contact Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review, sharing it with a friend, or tagging me on social to let me know your thoughts. And if Marcia's story resonated with you, I'd love to hear how this conversation landed.
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    1 h y 10 m
  • 436: Facing Horrific Family Trauma & Finding Joy After Divorce

    436: Facing Horrific Family Trauma & Finding Joy After Divorce
    Apr 11 2025

    In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format.

    The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment.

    The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness after a recent divorce. After a disappointing family trip, they wonder if happiness is still possible in this new chapter of life. Dr. Duff breaks down the process of emotional adjustment, the importance of realistic expectations, and how small steps can lead to renewed hope and connection.

    As always, this episode is filled with empathy, nuance, and practical encouragement for anyone going through dark or uncertain times.

    Key Discussion Points

    • The complexities of publishing a memoir about trauma and abuse

    • Understanding the impact of complex PTSD and generational trauma

    • Navigating family threats and estrangement with personal boundaries

    • Grieving the loss of an idealized future after divorce

    • Why happiness doesn't have to look how you thought it would

    • Tips for finding support and resilience as a single parent

    • The value of community, therapy, and chosen family

    Timestamps

    00:00 – Intro and personal update
    03:00 – Content warning for the first question
    04:05 – Listener story: Surviving severe childhood abuse and family rejection
    07:00 – Dr. Duff reflects on complex PTSD and trauma recovery
    08:30 – The power of isolation in abusive systems
    10:00 – Complicated dynamics with the listener's mother
    11:30 – Should I publish my book about my trauma?
    13:00 – Weighing the risks and benefits of publishing under a pseudonym
    14:30 – Standing in your truth despite family pushback
    15:00 – Listener story: Facing loneliness and doubt after divorce
    16:30 – Grieving the version of life you hoped for
    18:00 – Family disappointment and changing dynamics
    19:30 – The importance of time and realistic expectations
    21:00 – Children often remember things differently than we expect
    22:00 – Challenging fatalistic thoughts about the future
    23:30 – Modeling resilience and authenticity for your kids
    24:30 – Final thoughts and encouragement

    Mentioned in This Episode

    • Episode 130: Complex PTSD – What It Is and How to Recover

    • YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

    • More mental health content at: https://www.duffthepsych.com

    Submit a Question

    Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Reach out any time:

    📧 Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com
    🌐 Website: duffthepsych.com
    📷 Instagram: instagram.com/duffthepsych
    📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@duffthepsych

    Support the Show

    If you've gotten something out of the podcast and haven't left a review yet, now's a perfect time—especially if you're an Apple Podcasts listener. We're close to hitting 1,000 reviews, and every one helps others find the show and supports the mission of accessible mental health content.
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    25 m
  • 435: Moving Past infidelity & Coping with Sudden Medication Changes

    435: Moving Past infidelity & Coping with Sudden Medication Changes
    Apr 4 2025
    In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships. The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment. The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife's emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support. Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex relationship dynamics, this episode offers validation, practical advice, and hope. Key Discussion Points Question 1: Genetic Anxiety and Benzodiazepines Anxiety can be partially genetic—up to 50% of risk may be inherited. Environmental factors, early life experiences, and chronic stress also play key roles. Long-term anxiety can even change brain structures like the amygdala. Benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Klonopin can be risky for older adults, but abrupt changes in medication are harmful and inappropriate. Importance of finding the right provider—psychiatric care may be more appropriate than primary care in severe cases. Options like partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, or even voluntary hospitalization if suicidal thoughts worsen. Consideration of alternative treatments like TMS, ketamine therapy, EMDR, or comprehensive medical workups. Encouragement and validation that meaningful change is possible—even later in life. Question 2: Healing from Infidelity Emotional and physical infidelity can lead to feelings of inadequacy and intense emotional reactivity. The resurfacing of past wounds during present-day arguments is a trauma response. Healing takes time; both partners must commit to rebuilding trust. Grounding, breathing, and self-regulation tools are essential in emotional moments. Individual therapy and journaling can help process complex feelings and trauma. Couples therapy with a specialist in infidelity recovery can provide structure and support. It's possible to rebuild a stronger relationship—but it takes honest effort from both sides. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro 01:12 – Listener question: Is anxiety genetic? 03:22 – Genetics vs. environment in anxiety development 05:10 – Medication history and benzodiazepine concerns for older adults 08:45 – Advocating for appropriate psychiatric care 12:30 – Suicidal thoughts and higher levels of support 14:50 – Exploring alternative and emerging treatment options 17:15 – Words of encouragement and validation 19:45 – Listener question: Coping with infidelity and feeling inadequate 21:20 – Emotional fallout and trauma from betrayal 24:10 – Regulating emotional responses during arguments 26:00 – The role of time, patience, and couples therapy 28:20 – Journaling and individual processing for long-term healing 31:10 – Rebuilding a stronger relationship after infidelity 33:00 – Closing thoughts and takeaways Resources & Links Website: http://duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If today's episode resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who could use the support. Your stories and questions continue to make this podcast what it is—thank you for being here. Until next time, take care and keep pushing forward. You've got this.
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    28 m
  • An Update From Robert

    An Update From Robert
    Mar 28 2025

    Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!
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    1 m