We talk a lot about parenting.

But we don't talk nearly enough about being a daughter.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Allison Alford — communication scholar, professor at Baylor University, and author of Good Daughtering — to unpack the hidden emotional labor adult daughters carry inside their families.

We explore the invisible work, the guilt, the pressure to be "enough," and how daughters can set boundaries without walking away from the people they love. This isn't about cutting family off. It's about understanding your role, recalibrating it, and finding pride instead of burnout.

If you've ever felt like you're doing a lot… but it's never quite enough — this one will hit.

• What "daughtering" actually means (and why it's invisible)

• The "specter of expectation" and where guilt really comes from

• The difference between healthy families and the "messy middle"

• Why boundaries aren't magic — they're strategy

• How to shift your role even if no one else in your family changes

• Why being a daughter can be a noble pursuit — not just a burden

• What changes when daughters finally see the system clearly

00:00 – Intro + Texas roots & communication background
01:00 – "Not by magic": boundaries during the holidays
02:00 – Why she wrote Good Daughtering (research → real-world tools)
06:45 – Growing up with a therapist mom + learning to "talk about talking"
12:00 – Emotions A–Z vs A–F (communication differences in relationships)
16:00 – Generational healing, enmeshment & the "messy middle" family
20:00 – What "daughtering" actually means (visible + invisible labor)
23:30 – The guilt, pressure & the "specter of expectation"
26:00 – Where to begin: notice → calibrate → communicate
29:00 – When family won't change: boundaries + internal work
36:00 – Realizing the invisible labor in her own life
42:00 – Daughters as an untapped community
46:00 – Is daughtering a noble pursuit?
49:00 – What's inside the book (tools, scripts, boundary setting)
53:00 – What changes if daughters "see the Matrix"? + Release date

Dr. Allison Alford is a communication scholar and Clinical Associate Professor at Baylor University. Her research focuses on family communication, identity, and the overlooked emotional labor of adult daughters.

🌐 Website:
https://www.daughtering101.com

📸 Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/daughtering101

📘 Good Daughtering (Releases February 17, 2026):
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/good-daughtering-allison-m-alford

(You can also find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, and other major retailers.)

In this episode, I'm honored to welcome Dr. Tracy Hicks, a dual-certified family and mental health nurse practitioner with over two decades of clinical experience—and a deeply personal connection to serious mental illness. Dr. Hicks is both the daughter of a parent and the mother of a child with schizophrenia spectrum disorders. Her perspective blends professional expertise with lived experience in a way that is both deeply compassionate and refreshingly practical.

We talk about what schizophrenia really is (and isn't), the impact of stigma on individuals and families, and the importance of person-centered, empathetic care. Dr. Hicks shares her personal journey—raising a daughter with serious mental illness while navigating barriers in the healthcare system—and offers guidance for both providers and caregivers who want to better support those living with schizophrenia.

This is a powerful and deeply human conversation for anyone touched by serious mental illness.

• What schizophrenia is and how it's commonly misunderstood

• Growing up with a parent who has schizophrenia

• Early warning signs and delays in diagnosis for her daughter

• How stigma and systemic bias impact treatment access and quality

• Long-acting injectable medications: what they are and why they matter

• Creating space for curiosity and shared decision-making in care

• How to support loved ones without losing yourself

• Advice for providers on building trust and improving outcomes

• The power of grace, boundaries, and self-care for caregivers

00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Tracy Hicks and her personal/professional background
03:00 – From nursing to psychiatry: building a whole-person care model
07:00 – Childhood memories of a parent with schizophrenia
11:00 – Explaining what schizophrenia is and is not
14:00 – Challenging stereotypes: what schizophrenia actually looks like
18:00 – Early signs in Dr. Hicks' daughter and missed opportunities for intervention
22:00 – Racism, bias, and provider assumptions
24:00 – Treatment begins with the story, not the symptoms
26:00 – Why empathy and curiosity matter more than credentials
28:00 – The question that opens everything: "What's your goal for today?"
32:00 – Including family and support systems in the care plan
36:00 – Communication shifts that changed lives
41:00 – What long-acting injectables are and how to present them as an option
47:00 – Combating clinical inertia and provider bias
51:00 – What Dr. Hicks would do differently as a parent
54:00 – Creating your own space when the system doesn't serve you
58:00 – Boundaries, burnout, and filling your own cup as a caregiver
1:02:00 – Final thoughts on stigma, advocacy, and asking for what you need
1:03:30 – Where to follow Dr. Hicks and access her work

• Website: https://www.cfcmentalhealthoutreach.org

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/drhicksnp

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Send a message or question: https://www.duffthepsych.com/contact

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who could benefit. Conversations like this one can make a world of difference for people who feel alone in their experience.

Until next time, take care of yourself.