Smear campaigns don’t just distort the truth—they dismantle trust, fracture relationships, and leave survivors questioning where it’s safe to stand.

In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson is joined by high-conflict divorce coach Eleanor Marks for an honest conversation about what smear campaigns really look like during and after divorce with a covert narcissist.

Together, they explore:

• How smear campaigns unfold quietly and convincingly

• Why family and long-term friends sometimes believe the lies

• The grief of losing relationships you never expected to lose

• Why defending yourself often backfires

• How to reclaim your sense of safety without proving anything

This conversation isn’t about reacting, explaining, or correcting the narrative. It’s about understanding the pattern, protecting your energy, and learning how to move forward when others choose not to see the truth.

If you are currently divorcing a covert narcissist—or preparing to—a new coaching session focused specifically on navigating divorce with a covert narcissist is beginning next week. You can learn more and join now at www.covertnarcissism.com/divorce

You are not overreacting. You are not imagining the loss. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

00:00 Navigating Life After Narcissism
03:26 Understanding Smear Campaigns
05:55 The Impact of Family Dynamics
08:55 Redefining Relationships and Trust
11:39 Healing and Moving Forward
15:51 Living Your Truth
16:42 Building a Supportive Community

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you feel confused, unsettled, or unable to name what’s wrong in your marriage—even though nothing sounds “bad enough”—this episode is for you.

Many people living in covertly unhealthy dynamics don’t experience constant conflict or obvious explosions. Instead, they live inside a fog of mixed signals, emotional reversals, and conversations that never seem to stay where they start. This episode is designed to ground you in reality without labeling or pressure, and to help you understand the difference between normal marital conflict and patterns that quietly erode clarity over time.

In this kickoff episode, we explore:

• Why confusion is often the first signal that something isn’t right

• How everyday interactions can leave you feeling disoriented, tense, or questioning yourself

• The difference between conflict that resolves and conflict that never truly ends

• Why trying harder doesn’t bring relief when the problem isn’t communication

• How your nervous system responds when emotional safety is inconsistent

This episode is not about diagnosing your partner or telling you what to do. It’s about orientation—slowing things down enough to understand why your experience hasn’t made sense, and why that confusion matters.

This is the beginning of a guided journey through the confusing world of covert narcissism—one that organizes overwhelming information into something steady, digestible, and grounded in lived experience. Whether you’re just starting to sense that something is off, or you’ve been learning about this for years, this space is for you.

In the next episode, we’ll explore why this can feel so unfixable even when you’re still doing everything you can—and why that doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Healing from covert narcissistic abuse doesn’t follow a calendar—and January doesn’t require clarity, decisions, or resolutions.

If you’re entering the new year feeling foggy, heavy, or unsure, this episode is for you. Instead of pushing urgency, motivation, or “fresh starts,” this conversation offers something survivors of covert narcissism actually need: orientation, safety, and permission to go slowly.

In this New Year’s Day episode, we explore why January can feel more like an aftermath than a beginning, especially if you’re still in the relationship, newly out, or years removed but still impacted. We talk about what covert narcissistic abuse does to your nervous system, why information alone isn’t enough, and how healing often shows up quietly—not dramatically.

This episode also introduces how the podcast will function as a guided path this year, with grounding Sunday episodes and more connective Thursday conversations, including community chats.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why January pressure can be harmful for survivors

• How covert narcissism disrupts self-trust and internal orientation

• Why healing doesn’t require decisions or urgency

• Signs of healing that are often overlooked

• What to expect from the podcast moving forward

• How community and shared language support recovery

You are not behind. You are not doing this wrong. And you don’t have to decide anything yet.

00:00 Grounding and Introduction
00:46 Navigating New Year Pressures
01:35 Surviving the Holiday Season
03:49 Processing Emotional Aftermath
06:11 Understanding Trauma and Healing
07:01 Introducing the Guided Journey
10:31 Permissions for Healing
11:54 Podcast Structure and Expectations
13:35 Community Connection and Support

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Renee Swanson discusses the challenges of navigating holidays with a covert narcissist, emphasizing the emotional toll it takes on family members. She explores the concept of survival in these relationships, the importance of self-care, and encourages listeners to shift from merely surviving to thriving in their lives. The conversation highlights the need for awareness and understanding of emotional manipulation, and the significance of prioritizing one's own well-being.

Takeaways:

The holidays with a covert narcissist feel like survival, not joy.
Emotional preparation is necessary for family gatherings.
The cost of not trying to manage the environment is too high.
Self-care is essential and not selfish.
Surviving the holidays does not equate to feeling fulfilled.
Emotional containment is an invisible burden.
A calm holiday does not mean peace in the heart.
Self-care allows for better relationships with others.
Guilt often stems from external blame, not personal failure.
Moving from survival to thriving is a vital journey.

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this Christmas-themed episode, Renee Swanson explores the impact of covert narcissism on personal relationships, particularly during the holiday season. Using the metaphor of the Grinch, she discusses how covert narcissists can subtly steal joy, anticipation, and traditions, leaving individuals feeling hollow and anxious. However, she emphasizes the importance of community and reclaiming one's truth, integrity, and peace, encouraging listeners to recognize their strength and the joy that can still exist despite past trauma.

Takeaways:

Humor grounded in truth can be healing.
Covert narcissists often appear friendly but drain joy.
They steal emotional peace rather than physical items.
Anticipation for joyful events can turn into dread.
Community support is crucial for healing.
Your truth and integrity remain intact despite abuse.
Healing is a personal journey that can be complicated.
Recognizing patterns of abuse brings clarity.
Peace belongs to the present, not the past.
Christmas can be redefined on your own terms.

Chapters:

00:00 A Different Kind of Christmas
00:54 Understanding the Covert Narcissist
02:39 The Grinch's Stealing Tactics
07:25 The Power of Community
11:16 Reclaiming Your Truth
12:41 Finding Peace and Joy

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert narcissism in marriage keeps survivors trapped by the belief that if they just tried harder, the relationship would finally improve.
If you’re exhausted from over-functioning, self-blame, and emotional gymnastics in a narcissistic marriage, this episode is for anyone questioning whether the problem was ever really you.

In this episode, we unpack one of the most damaging beliefs in narcissistic abuse: “If you leave, it’s because you didn’t try hard enough.” This myth quietly traps survivors of covert narcissism in marriage in endless self-audits—replaying conversations, shrinking needs, managing emotions, and proving effort—while the other person remains largely unchanged.

We explore why trying harder in an emotionally abusive relationship often means abandoning yourself more completely, not saving the marriage. We also talk about the toll this dynamic takes on your nervous system, including chronic stress, hypervigilance, jaw clenching, insomnia, digestive issues, and emotional exhaustion. Healing and emotional abuse recovery begin when you recognize that effort without empathy is not partnership—and leaving is not failure.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why covert narcissism in marriage creates chronic self-blame

• The “try harder” myth and how it keeps survivors stuck in narcissistic abuse

• How emotional abuse leads to trauma responses like hypervigilance, tension, and fatigue

• Why over-functioning doesn’t create safety or connection

• Reframing leaving as self-preservation, not quitting

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert narcissism recovery often shows up quietly—through internal safety, self-trust, and a nervous system that no longer lives on high alert.

Many survivors wonder how to tell whether they’re actually healing, especially when there’s no closure, no apology, and no clear “finish line.” This episode shifts the focus away from the covert narcissist and back to you—helping you understand the subtle but powerful signs that healing is taking root.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why healing isn’t a milestone, but a shift in internal safety

• How recovery continues even without closure or acknowledgment

• What it means to feel safer inside your own body and mind

• The connection between nervous system regulation and healing

• How self-talk changes as recovery progresses

• Why perfectionism fades as internal safety grows

• How emotions stop feeling like emergencies and become information

• Three simple check-ins to stay focused on your healing path: body, thoughts, and feelings

This episode is for anyone recovering from covert narcissistic abuse who wants reassurance, clarity, and grounded guidance on what healing actually looks like—without waiting for anyone else to change.

00:00 Understanding Healing from Covert Narcissism
02:43 The Importance of Internal Safety
06:25 Recognizing Signs of Healing
09:39 Practicing Self-Compassion and Acceptance
12:54 Honoring Your Limits and Emotions
16:30 Distinguishing Healing from Numbness
17:52 Practical Steps for Healing

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert narcissism and trauma quietly teach adults and children that silence feels safer than honesty.

If you’ve noticed yourself going quiet, choosing your words carefully, or avoiding hard conversations altogether — or you’re watching your children withdraw, shut down, or stop sharing — this episode explains why that happens and what safety actually has to do with healing.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why people stop talking in emotionally unsafe relationships

• How covert narcissistic dynamics punish honesty without obvious aggression

• The different types of safety required for healing (physical, emotional, psychological, and conversational)

• How children learn when it is — and isn’t — safe to speak

• Everyday examples of unsafe vs. safe responses in adult and parent-child conversations

• Why silence is often a trauma response, not a lack of caring

• What begins to change when safety is slowly restored

This episode is for anyone who has lived in the confusion of covert narcissism, emotional abuse, or chronic invalidation — and for parents who want to understand what helps their children feel safe enough to heal and speak again.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.