There is often a moment in covert narcissistic relationships when something finally shifts. The confusion begins to clear, the patterns start to make sense, and you realize that what you’ve been experiencing has a name. But that moment rarely comes all at once.

In this Community Chat, Renee is joined by Jenny, who shares her experience of what it looked like when things finally clicked for her after more than four decades in her marriage. What started as small realizations over time eventually led to a moment of undeniable clarity—one that changed everything.

Together, they explore the gradual awakening that so many survivors of covert narcissistic abuse go through, the internal back-and-forth between clarity and doubt, and the emotional impact of finally seeing things for what they are.

If you’ve ever questioned your reality, wondered why it took so long to see it, or found yourself moving between “I know” and “maybe I’m wrong,” this conversation will resonate deeply.

This episode is a reminder that clarity is not a single moment—it’s a process. And you are not alone in it.

Visit www.covertnarcissism.com for additional resources and to sign up for future CNG Community Chat opportunities.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

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Episode Notes

This episode is part two of a special bonus series I’m sharing from another podcast that I think many of you will deeply connect with.

The show is called Shit That Goes On in Our Heads, hosted by G-Rex and Dirty Skittles. It’s raw, honest, and unfiltered—centered around real conversations on mental health, trauma, healing, and what it actually looks like to do this work in real life. There’s no pretending, no polishing things up… just truth, humor, and powerful insights that meet you exactly where you are.

This short series I’m sharing is an extra set of episodes outside of my normal content because the conversation is just that important. In this part two episode, we go deeper into what healthy boundaries actually look like after trauma—and why so many of us lost our sense of self in the first place, especially within covert narcissistic dynamics.

If you missed part one, I highly recommend going back and listening to that first. It sets the foundation for everything we’re talking about here.

And as you listen, notice what resonates. This conversation isn’t just about understanding—it’s about beginning to reconnect with yourself in a way you may not have been taught before.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why didn’t I see it sooner?” after being in a covert narcissistic relationship, you are not alone. The truth is, you didn’t miss the signs—your body was recognizing them long before your mind could make sense of what was happening.

In this episode, we break down the confusing experience of cognitive dissonance in covert narcissistic abuse—why your body felt anxious, tense, or unsafe while your mind continued to justify, minimize, or explain away the behavior. You’ll learn how your nervous system detects emotional threat outside of your conscious awareness, and why this disconnect between what you feel and what you believe can keep you stuck far longer than you expected.

We also explore how conditioning, people-pleasing patterns, and the desire to maintain connection can lead you to override your intuition—and why that is not a failure, but a survival response.

If you’ve struggled with shame, self-doubt, or confusion after leaving a covert narcissist, this episode will help you understand what was really happening beneath the surface—and how to begin rebuilding trust with yourself moving forward.

If you’re ready to take the next step beyond understanding and start applying this work in your own life, I invite you to explore coaching program and resources at https://www.covertnarcissism.com.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.