Surrender is one of the most misunderstood concepts in healing, especially after betrayal trauma. For many women, the word itself can feel painful, unsafe, or even triggering. It can sound like giving up, minimizing harm, or accepting what should never have happened.

In this episode, we slow surrender way down.

This conversation explores what surrender actually means in the context of betrayal trauma and healing in Christ’s light. Not as passive acceptance or forced forgiveness, but as a gradual, grounded process of releasing what was never yours to carry in the first place.

We talk about surrender through multiple lenses. Faith, higher power, and the 12-step framework, while always coming back to what surrender looks like in real, everyday life for women whose trust has been shattered.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why surrender often feels painful and threatening after betrayal
• Making space for different concepts of a higher power without pressure or perfection
• What surrender means in the 12 steps, in practical, lived terms
• How surrender can coexist with boundaries, truth, and discernment
• How surrender can become a pathway back to peace, clarity, and self-connection

This episode is for women who are exhausted from holding everything together, from trying to manage outcomes, and from carrying responsibility that was never theirs. Surrender here is not about shrinking or silencing yourself. It is about softening your grip on what you cannot control so you can come back home to yourself.

You don’t have to understand surrender all at once. You don’t have to do it perfectly. And you don’t have to force it before you’re ready.

This episode offers gentle perspective, grounded truth, and permission to explore surrender at your own pace.

🌟 Meet the Author: Jeni Brockbank

Jeni Brockbank lives in northern Utah with her six children, where she works as a betrayal trauma coach and podcaster. She finds joy in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to real-life challenges, floating on lazy rivers, snuggling her kids, and long lunches with good friends. She loves the color red as a reminder of her individual worth to her Heavenly Father. Jeni is also the founder of Her Wings Unfold, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting survivors of domestic violence, betrayal, and abuse.

Her Wings Unfold

https://herwingsunfold.org/

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel's Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Betrayal doesn’t just break trust — it fractures your connection to yourself, to others, and often to God.

In Part 2 of this conversation, I’m again joined by Jeni Brockbank, author of Healing in Christ’s Light, to explore what it looks like to move beyond survival and into deeper healing after betrayal — without bypassing pain or rushing the process.

This episode centers on soul-care, compassion, and truth-based healing for women navigating the aftermath of abuse, addiction, abandonment, and adultery.

Together, we explore:

• Why betrayal wounds the soul — not just the heart or mind

• What real soul-care looks like after trauma (and why “just pray more” often isn’t enough)

• How self-compassion becomes a critical healing practice after gaslighting and self-doubt

• Why healing in isolation keeps wounds open — and how safe community supports restoration

• The difference between accountability, support, and pressure disguised as “help”

• What forgiveness is — and what it is not

• Why forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation, tolerance, or bypassing harm

• How faith-centered healing honors truth, boundaries, agency, and dignity

This episode is a grounding reminder that:

You are allowed to be tender with yourself.

You are not meant to heal alone.

And forgiveness is never meant to cost you your safety or your soul.

If you’ve struggled with guilt, pressure to “move on,” or confusion about forgiveness and faith after betrayal — this conversation was created for you.

🌟 Meet Our Guest: Jeni Brockbank

Jeni Brockbank lives in northern Utah with her six children, where she works as a betrayal trauma coach and podcaster. She finds joy in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to real-life challenges, floating on lazy rivers, snuggling her kids, and long lunches with good friends. She loves the color red as a reminder of her individual worth to her Heavenly Father. Jeni is also the founder of Her Wings Unfold, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting survivors of domestic violence, betrayal, and abuse.

Her Wings Unfold

https://herwingsunfold.org/

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel's Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Betrayal doesn’t just break trust, it breaks the world you thought you were living in.

In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by Jeni Brockbank, author of Healing in Christ’s Light, for a grounded and faith-centered discussion on the realities of abuse, addiction, abandonment, and adultery, including the deep trauma that follows.

Together, we explore:

• What betrayal trauma actually is and why it impacts the nervous system so intensely
• Gaslighting and spiritual manipulation — how they warp your sense of reality
• Why you start to question your sanity (hint: you’re not crazy — you’re in trauma)
• The difference between unsafe support that causes more harm… and safe support that helps you heal
• How to hold onto your identity, worth, and faith when your partner’s choices create chaos
• What real safety looks like in your body, in your soul, and in your relationships
• How healing in the light of Christ supports truth, clarity, and empowerment

This episode is a validating reminder that:

You didn’t cause this.

You’re not alone in it.

And your healing is sacred.

If you’ve ever felt confused, spiritually conflicted, or unsure where to turn — this conversation was made for you.

🌟 Meet Our Guest: Jeni Brockbank

Jeni lives in northern Utah with her six children, where she works as a betrayal trauma coach and podcaster. She finds joy in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to real-life challenges, floating on lazy rivers, snuggling her kids, and long lunches with good friends. She loves the color red because it reminds her of her individual worth to her Heavenly Father. Jeni is also the founder of Her Wings Unfold, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting victims of domestic violence, betrayal, and abuse.

🕊️ Listen in for grounding truth and gentle direction.

You are not crazy — you are surviving trauma. And healing is possible, especially when truth and safety lead the way.

Her Wings Unfold

https://herwingsunfold.org/

December 11, 2025 Webinar

Over the Rainbow: Understanding the Journey of Betrayal Trauma Healing

Register Here https://reclaim-self-trust.lovable.app/

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel's Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

When the person who promised to love you is the one who caused the deepest harm, it creates a specific kind of trauma — one rooted in injustice. Betrayal trauma shatters safety, damages trust, and turns your entire world upside down. And yet… women are so often told to “be more understanding,” “let it go,” or “move on.”

In today’s episode, we’re naming what so many experience but rarely say out loud:

What happened to you was unjust.

And your anger? It’s not a flaw — it’s a sign of your worth and your wound.

Together, we explore:

• The deep injustice of betrayal and how it reshapes your sense of reality
• Why anger shows up in every chapter — past, present, and future
• The anger tied to uncertainty and the pain of not knowing what comes next
• How anger reflects your longing for truth, stability, and fairness
• Ways anger can become a guide back to clarity, safety, and self-respect

We draw from insights in Betrayal Trauma Anger by Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck — not to pathologize your anger, but to understand it as a natural response to harm.

You’ll walk away with a clearer understanding of your emotional reactions — especially if you’ve been judging yourself for them.

Key Reminder:

You are not overreacting.

You are responding to a real violation.

And your anger can be a powerful ally on your way back home to yourself.

📚 Resource Mentioned:Betrayal Trauma Anger by Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck

✨ If this episode resonates…Share it with a friend who is questioning whether what she’s feeling is “too much.”Your story deserves validation, not dismissal. And you deserve support on this journey of coming back to yourself.

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

ANGER! Let's talk abou it.

Anger after betrayal can feel huge, sudden, or out of character — but it’s not a sign that something is wrong with you. It’s a natural response to harm, deception, and the collapse of emotional safety.

In this episode, we break down why anger shows up so strongly and how to begin processing it in ways that support your healing.

We cover:

• Why anger in betrayal trauma feels so intense
• How gaslighting and minimization fuel anger
• The protective purpose anger serves
• What happens when anger gets pushed down
• How to process anger without exploding or shutting down
• Simple ways to support your body as anger moves through

Anger isn’t a flaw — it’s information. It’s your body responding to what happened.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why am I this angry?” or “Is this too much?” this episode will help you understand your reaction with more clarity and compassion.

Your anger makes sense. And it’s allowed.

Book Discussed:

Betrayal Trauma Anger by Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck

About the Author

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Anger Management Specialist, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She helps individuals and couples heal from the devastating impact that broken trust and broken relational attachment brings including the complex trauma that results from intimate betrayal. She is a highly sought after conference speaker and has private practice in Florida where she also conducts 3-day intensives.

Website

https://crystalhollenbeck.com/

Article referenced in Interview:

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2306940

Book

https://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-Trauma-Anger-Youre-Should/dp/B0FN6P62K8/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wM614LoIEBMWDrdQhOZoFQ.GPKnCN_hCGwnYR2zsBu3BLWQn0Nwd4kGNkZRIzGROYo&qid=1755753925&sr=8-1

SCIP Protocol

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://crystalhollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/SCIP-Protocol-Dr.-Hollenbeck.pdf

Rachel's Bookshelf

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Sign up for my Newsletter

⁠⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY⁠

Anger after betrayal can feel intense, confusing, and at times overwhelming. Many women question whether their reactions are “too much” — but what if your anger is not only valid, but an essential part of your healing?

In this episode, I continue to interview Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy… You’re Angry and You Should Be! to unpack the truth about anger through the lens of betrayal trauma.

Together, we explore:

• What anger really is and why it shows up so strongly after betrayal

• The purpose anger serves in protecting us and signaling our pain

• What makes betrayal-related anger different from “typical” anger

• Why suppressing anger often keeps us stuck in trauma responses

• Healthy, grounded ways to move through anger without abandoning yourself

• How to begin processing anger in a way that supports nervous system safety and self-reconnection

This conversation is both validating and liberating. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is something wrong with me for feeling this angry?” — this episode will help you breathe a little easier and see your anger with more clarity and compassion.

Your anger makes sense. It deserves a voice, not shame.

About

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Anger Management Specialist, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She helps individuals and couples heal from the devastating impact that broken trust and broken relational attachment brings including the complex trauma that results from intimate betrayal. She is a highly sought after conference speaker and has private practice in Florida where she also conducts 3-day intensives.

Website

https://crystalhollenbeck.com/

Article referenced in Interview:

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2306940

Book

https://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-Trauma-Anger-Youre-Should/dp/B0FN6P62K8/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wM614LoIEBMWDrdQhOZoFQ.GPKnCN_hCGwnYR2zsBu3BLWQn0Nwd4kGNkZRIzGROYo&qid=1755753925&sr=8-1

SCIP Protocol

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://crystalhollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/SCIP-Protocol-Dr.-Hollenbeck.pdf

Rachel's Bookshelf

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Sign up for my Newsletter

⁠⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY⁠

Anger after betrayal can feel intense, confusing, and at times overwhelming. Many women question whether their reactions are “too much” — but what if your anger is not only valid, but an essential part of your healing?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy… You’re Angry and You Should Be! to unpack the truth about anger through the lens of betrayal trauma.

Together, we explore:
• What anger really is and why it shows up so strongly after betrayal
• The purpose anger serves in protecting us and signaling our pain
• What makes betrayal-related anger different from “typical” anger
• Why suppressing anger often keeps us stuck in trauma responses
• Healthy, grounded ways to move through anger without abandoning yourself
• How to begin processing anger in a way that supports nervous system safety and self-reconnection

This conversation is both validating and liberating. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is something wrong with me for feeling this angry?” — this episode will help you breathe a little easier and see your anger with more clarity and compassion.

Your anger makes sense. It deserves a voice, not shame.

About the Author

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Anger Management Specialist, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She helps individuals and couples heal from the devastating impact that broken trust and broken relational attachment brings including the complex trauma that results from intimate betrayal. She is a highly sought after conference speaker and has private practice in Florida where she also conducts 3-day intensives.

Website

https://crystalhollenbeck.com/

Article https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2306940

Book

https://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-Trauma-Anger-Youre-Should/dp/B0FN6P62K8/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wM614LoIEBMWDrdQhOZoFQ.GPKnCN_hCGwnYR2zsBu3BLWQn0Nwd4kGNkZRIzGROYo&qid=1755753925&sr=8-1

SCIP Protocol

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://crystalhollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/SCIP-Protocol-Dr.-Hollenbeck.pdf

Rachel's Bookshelf

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Sign up for my Newsletter

⁠⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY⁠

I offer an unscripted dive into a gaslighting experience using Sarah Morales' workbook called "Take Your Power Back." Join me as I use a real life example and explore the mapping system Sarah offers to discern gaslighting behaviors and patterns.

Be sure to check out the workbook which explores the complexities of gaslighting and, as the title suggests, empowers you to step back into your truth.

Pick up your copy here:

⁠https://www.lulu.com/shop/sarah-morales/take-your-power-back/paperback/product-dy6kqdd.html?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAafzxFCsevAkzaUSUgKdWfGAffardpSOOnCe5eTEkX9DX7rzrwm8GhpoE6r95g_aem_Re9zqCw2lDYuGgJJX1Q_Xw&page=1&pageSize=4⁠

Check out all that Sarah has to offer at Sarahmoralescoaching.com

Sarah Morales is the owner and creator of Deconstructing Gaslighting® and is widely recognized as an expert and thought leader on the topic of Gaslighting. She helps raise public awareness on this topic through her many public platforms and creates programs that help empower victims of Gaslighting.

Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy is a groundbreaking educational and training resource that provides programs for every facet of Gaslighting experiences. With programs for the victims of gaslighting, the perpetrators of gaslighting that are in recovery, and helping professionals, Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy aims to be THE source people go to receive the life-changing education and tools they need to heal from the effects of Gaslighting and “Take their power back”.

Sarah currently sits on the board of APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), consults & contracts with numerous helping professionals, and is frequently invited as a guest speaker at national conferences and on podcasts.

Her passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels her work with her clients and pushes her to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible.

Rachel's Bookshelf

⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share⁠⁠

Sign up for my Newsletter

⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY