This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 94

The Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stress
• The impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response System
• How to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response System
• A reframe to shift your own Stress Response System

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 7

The brain has two modes- connection or protection.

Protective behaviors include opposition, defiance, aggression- basically, any behavior that doesn't invite connection.

If we want to help shift our children's oppositional behaviors, we must first help their brain shift out of protection and into protection!

You can read more on my blog: robyngobbel.com/connectionorprotection/

Resources mentioned on the podcast:

• Match the Energy Not the Dysregulation ep 155
• Felt Safety Series- starts at ep 161
• Boundaries Series starts at ep 111
• Oppositional Behavior Series starts at 156
• All Behavior Makes Sense ep 198
• Focus on the Nervous System webinar

We have a few spots remaining in the professional, retreat style workshop Presence in Practice in Durango, CO March 5-7, 2026. Head to RobynGobbel.com/Durango for details and registration

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, nervous system activation, and self-compassion. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can stretch your capacity in profound ways, especially when you have a history of trauma yourself. In this episode, we explore what it really means to nurture your window of tolerance, not through force or self-discipline, but through safety, connection, and compassion. This episode is about strengthening your own stress response system, not by pushing harder, but by offering your nervous system the conditions it needs to feel safe.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why widening your window of tolerance after trauma has to be gentle, relational, and slow
• How self-compassion functions as a powerful intervention to support your own nervous system
• Practical, realistic ways to nurture your window of tolerance through connection, repair, honoring limits, and micro-cues of safety
  
  

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Free Resources Hub!

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/ParentWindowOfTolerance

We have a few spots remaining in the professional, retreat style workshop Presence in Practice in Durango, CO March 5-7, 2026. Head to RobynGobbel.com/Durango for details and registration

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

On February 3, I taught a live webinar online- Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior.

This is the audio-only version of that webinar!

To watch the full video webinar and to download the accompanying resources, head to RobynGobbel.com/webinar

In this webinar, you'll learn

• the three core tenets that underlie behavior change
• what behavior really is
• how regulation, connection, and felt safety are related to behavior
• how the nervous system responds to stress
• why baffling behaviors are due to a sensitized stress response system
• how attachment or developmental trauma leads to baffling behaviors

We have a few spots remaining in the professional, retreat style workshop Presence in Practice in Durango, CO March 5-7, 2026. Head to RobynGobbel.com/Durango for details and registration

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system activation. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

If you’ve spent years learning about the nervous system to better support your child, and now you’re ready to offer the same curiosity and compassion to yourself, then this episode is for you.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How core nervous system concepts like connection vs. protection, regulation, and felt safety apply to your trauma-shaped nervous system
• Why reactions rooted in watchdog and possum states make sense for you, too
• How sensitized stress responses, state-dependent functioning, and a narrowed window of tolerance explain why insight alone isn’t enough

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• When Parenting Triggers Your Own Trauma Part 1 of 6 {EP 250}
• Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}
• Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar & eBook

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/TraumaShapedNervousSystem

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode originally aired in 2020. It's a very popular episode that deserved being updated because so many folks are still listening!

***

Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most. It's confusing. It's triggering. It's exhausting.

We can use our x-ray vision goggles to get underneath the lying so we can respond in ways that actually sets the boundary and increases the possibility of helping our children developing more socially and relationally appropriate behaviors.

Would you rather about Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior? Check out my blog! https://robyngobbel.com/lying/

Additional Resources:

Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior Infographic

Free Resource Hub: RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

Ep 222: Lying, Stealing, Regression and Baby Talk

We have a few spots remaining in the professional, retreat style workshop Presence in Practice in Durango, CO March 5-7, 2026. Head to RobynGobbel.com/Durango for details and registration

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system overwhelm. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.

Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can stir up your own trauma in ways that feel surprising, intense, and deeply unsettling. In this episode, we slow everything down and make sense of why this kind of parenting can feel so much harder when you have your own trauma history.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why parenting a dysregulated child uniquely activates trauma for caregivers
• How attachment, memory networks, and a narrowed window of tolerance collide in everyday parenting moments
• Why understanding your nervous system is just as important as understanding your child’s
  
  
  

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• When Parenting is Traumatic Ep 95
• Trauma, Memory, and Behavior Ep. 91 (implicit memory)
• Free Resource Hub

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whenparentingtriggersyourtrauma

We have a few spots remaining in the professional, retreat style workshop Presence in Practice in Durango, CO March 5-7, 2026. Head to RobynGobbel.com/Durango for details and registration

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)