This week, Kendra and Katie unpack a quiet but common struggle among physician spouses:
the belief that gratitude and dissatisfaction can't coexist.

We explore:

• Why so many physician spouses downplay their hard moments

• The "gratitude as gaslighting" trap

• How privilege guilt + comparison silence our real needs

• A simple AND vs BUT framework to spot healthy vs harmful gratitude

• How to hold emotional complexity without minimizing yourself

• Four questions to help you take action instead of staying stuck

• Why acknowledging what's hard is not selfish—but essential for thriving

Key Takeaway:
You can be grateful and want change. You can love your life and need more support.
Both things can be true.

• "It Gets Better Now" Coaching with Kendra

• Supporting Physician Spouses Community + Podcast Archive

• 10-10-10: A Life-Transforming Idea — Suzy Welch

• Artful TV series (BYUtv)

When the call schedule explodes, the backup plan fails, and everyone's unraveling — how do you hold it all together?

In the final episode of The Predictability Problem Series, Kendra and Katie unpack what it really means to create flexible family systems that bend but don't break when medicine runs the clock.

You'll learn:

• Why rigid plans actually increase stress in high-uncertainty seasons

• The Plan B Framework — Predict, List, Automate, Name — to restore calm when things go sideways

• How to build "structured flexibility" that keeps the household steady

• Why Plan B isn't failure — it's the foundation of resilience

• Simple system swaps to turn daily survival into sustainable rhythm

Because predictability isn't about control — it's about confidence that you can recover, reset, and reconnect no matter what medicine throws your way.

🩺 Connect with us off the Podcast - All our freebies + Office Hours registration: stan.store/supportingphysicianspouses

💬 Book a coaching consult or learn more: itgetsbetternow.com/schedule

Instagram @supportingphysicianspouses

Email us! hello@supportingphysicianspouses.com

0:00 – Welcome & Series Recap
4:30 – Why rigid systems crack under medical unpredictability
8:20 – The Plan B Framework explained
14:10 – Flexible systems in real life (bedtime, call weeks, holidays)
22:00 – How to apply Plan B without guilt
27:15 – Closing thoughts + next steps

Even the calmest, most grounded person can feel off balance when their relationship starts to feel like two people living parallel lives. In Week 3 of The Predictability Problem Series, Katie explores how physician spouses can rebuild calm through connection, even when medicine keeps changing the plan.

You'll hear:

• A real-life story of emotional safety in action

• Research from Dr. Tate Shanafelt and Dr. Wayne Sotile on what predicts thriving in physician families

• How much "meaningful time" couples actually need—and what to do if you can't get it

• Why micro rituals of connection (3 minutes, 3 times a day) are the secret to predictability when schedules never stop shifting

• Practical examples you can try this week—no extra time required

Because predictability doesn't come from your calendar—it comes from knowing you can count on each other.

Links & Resources Mentioned:
🩺 All freebies + Office Hour registration: stan.store/supportingphysicianspouses
💬 Learn about coaching for physician spouses: ItGetsBetterNow.com

Timestamps:
0:00 – Welcome + recap of The Predictability Problem Series
3:40 – The accident story that redefined emotional safety
7:55 – What research says about time, connection, and burnout
11:20 – Why emotional safety = predictability
14:00 – How to create "micro rituals" (3x3 framework)
22:40 – Co-regulation and the biology of connection
26:30 – Weekly challenge: Build your micro rituals
29:15 – Closing + what's next in the series

When the text comes — "Got pulled into a case. Won't make it for dinner." — your whole body reacts. The plan falls apart, and suddenly, you're bracing again.

This week, Kendra walks physician spouses through the science of why unpredictability hits so hard — and a powerful, research-backed framework for reclaiming calm in the middle of it. Drawing from cognitive behavioral therapy and resilience training, she shares the ANCHOR Framework — six practical steps to shift from bracing for chaos to anchoring in calm, even when the schedule changes for the hundredth time.

You'll learn:

• Why your brain interprets unpredictability as danger — and how to retrain it for safety.

• How to move from "here we go again" to "I can handle this."

• What affect labeling and cognitive reappraisal mean in real life (hint: they can actually lower stress hormones).

• The six ANCHOR steps:

  1. Acknowledge what's real

  2. Notice your narrative

  3. Challenge it with choice

  4. Hold a grounding cue

  5. Orient toward what's stable

  6. Re-engage with intention

Plus — how one small ritual (like lighting a candle) can become your nervous system's cue that you're safe, even when plans change.

If you've ever felt the constant tension of life with a physician in training, this episode will remind you: calm isn't something you wait for — it's something you can create.

• Free ANCHOR Framework Worksheet: Download here

• Join our next Office Hours at supportingphysicianspouses.com

• One-on-One Coaching with Kendra at ItGetsBetterNow.com

If you've ever said, "Our calendar is held hostage by the call schedule," or, "I can't plan anything until we know the rotation," this episode is for you.

In Part 1 of The Predictability Problem Series, we're exploring how to reclaim rhythm and calm in a life that's constantly being reshaped by medicine.

We'll unpack what happens to our nervous systems when life feels unpredictable, the science behind why autonomy matters (thank you, Self-Determination Theory!), and how even tiny "pockets of control" can help restore your sense of balance and peace.

You'll walk away with four practical ways to design micro-rhythms that belong to you — the kind that hold even when medicine doesn't.

• Why unpredictability keeps your nervous system in "alert mode"

• The 3 psychological needs that help humans thrive (and how medicine often disrupts them)

• What autonomy really means — and how to reclaim yours, even in small ways

  • Listen to Ep 11 - The Power of Tiny Habit for Physician Spouses for a deeper dive into this concept

• How to create personal and family rituals that anchor you, not overwhelm you

• The "Four-Step Framework" to design rhythms that last:

  1. Choose what's fully in your control

  2. Shrink until it's doable

  3. Name it to make it visible

  4. Treat it like a boundary

Pick one small rhythm that feels nourishing and realistic for you or your family.
Ask yourself:

"What helps me feel grounded — and what would it take to protect that?"

It's one thing to listen — it's another to actually create change.
That's why we made a free companion resource to help you start designing your pockets of predictability in a life that's anything but predictable.

👉 Get your download here:
Your link will arrive via email, with a guide to help you turn today's conversation into practical action.

Follow along on Instagram @supportingphysicianspouses
or email us anytime at hello@supportingphysicianspouses.com — we love hearing from you!

Sign up for Office Hours at supportingphysicianspouses.com

If you found this episode helpful, please rate and review the podcast. Every review helps another physician spouse find this community and feel less alone in the unpredictability of medical life.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and in this heartfelt conversation, Kendra and Katie sit down with Amy Watson, a certified life coach who helps women navigate the deep grief that follows miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. Amy shares her personal story — from losing her daughter Lauren and later her baby River, to transforming that pain into purpose by supporting others walking a similar path.

This episode is for everyone — whether you've personally experienced loss or want to know how to better support a friend, colleague, or loved one who has. Together, we explore how to show up with compassion, what to say (and what not to say), and how even small gestures can make a big difference.

Amy's story is raw, real, and full of hope. She reminds us that grief and love coexist — and that speaking a baby's name, showing up, and saying something is always better than silence.

You'll Learn:

• Amy's personal story of loss, healing, and becoming an advocate for grieving parents

• What parents who've experienced pregnancy or infant loss most need from friends and family

• The power of saying a baby's name and acknowledging both grief and parenthood

• Why it's never too late to reach out — even if time has passed

• How partners may experience grief differently and ways to support them

• Resources and organizations helping families after loss

Additional Resources:

• Smooth Stones Podcast by Amy Watson
• Teeny Tears — handmade diapers for stillborn babies
• Evermore Blooms — flower ministry for grieving mothers
• Sad Dads Club — for fathers after loss
• Star Legacy Foundation —This has info for families and providers
• Push Pregnancy — advocacy work politically and and information sharing to lower stillbirth rates
• Count the Kicks — an app for 28 weeks plus.
• Faith's Lodge — for loss retreats.

Connect with Amy:
🌐 Website: smoothstonescoaching.com
📸 Instagram: @amy.smoothstonescoaching

Join the Office Hours Waitlist:

• Have you signed up yet?! Our first monthly call will be NEXT week! We hope you sign up here to join.

Life in medicine can feel like one long stretch of "hard." Between call schedules, solo parenting, and the constant shifting ground of medical life, it's easy to believe something must be wrong when things feel heavy. But what if "hard" isn't something to fix—what if it's something to honor and even grow through?

In this heartfelt conversation, Kendra and Katie get real about what it means to embrace both the hard and the hope in the physician spouse journey.

This episode will leave you encouraged, grounded, and equipped with simple steps to hold both gratitude and struggle at once—and to remember that you're not alone in either.

• The importance of acknowledging what's hard without judgment

• Why avoiding discomfort can make it worse (and what to do instead)

• How to recognize the "healing fantasies" we create—and use them as roadmaps for growth

• Real talk about solo parenting, resentment, and self-compassion

• Practical ways to use your agency and take imperfect action

• Why naming your hard moments out loud brings relief and connection

• Acknowledge the hard: Naming it doesn't make you weak—it makes you human.

• Hold the both/and: Life can be hard and beautiful. You can love your spouse and feel lonely.

• Use your fantasies as feedback: The ideal scenarios in your head often point to your deepest needs.

• Take agency: Even small action brings peace faster than waiting for circumstances to change.

• Speak it out loud: Connection starts when we stop pretending we're fine.

We're opening Supporting Physician Spouses Office Hours — a free, monthly video gathering where you can bring your real questions, pain points, and experiences to the table.

It's a safe, supportive space to say out loud what's hard—and find clarity, connection, and community as we navigate this medical life together.

🖥️ Join the waitlist at supportingphysicianspouses.com to get notified when the next Office Hour opens.

• Website: supportingphysicianspouses.com

• Instagram: @supportingphysicianspouses

• Email: hello@supportingphysicianspouses.com

In this heartfelt episode of Supporting Physician Spouses, Kendra and Katie pause to acknowledge the heaviness in our world right now. With tragic shootings, heartbreaking losses, and ongoing uncertainty, many of us feel shaken and weary. Together, we explore what it means to steady ourselves when the world feels unsteady—and how to cultivate peace that is both grounding and real.

We walk through six steps that help us (and can help you) navigate turbulent times:

1. Return to the Basics — Sleep, water, nourishment, and movement aren't luxuries; they are anchors for your nervous system.

2. Let the Hard Be Hard — Peace doesn't come from denial. Acknowledging pain allows us to process it without rushing to fix.

3. Lean into Faith and Values — Reconnect with your higher power, your community, or the values that give life meaning.

4. Focus on What You Can Control — Even small actions, like tidying a space or decorating with your kids, help restore calm.

5. Connect with Others — Peace is often carried communally. Don't isolate; reach out for support or offer it to someone else.

6. Look for Flecks of Gold — Joy and sorrow can coexist. Notice the small, shining mercies and moments of tenderness that remind you of goodness.

Along the way, we share personal stories—feeling discombobulated, finding grounding through walks or decorating, the power of a kind text, and the simple healing of connection.

Whether you're a physician spouse navigating the added weight of medicine's demands or simply someone searching for steadiness right now, this conversation offers both practical tools and gentle reminders: you are not alone, peace is possible, and the small things really do matter.

Referenced Episodes:

• Ep. 3 & 4 — The Basics of Self-Care

• Ep. 7 — Who's in Your Corner? Building a Strong Support System as a Physician Spouse

• Ep. 8 — Spiritual Self-Care When Life is Loud

Listen in, take what steadies you, and remember: even in heavy times, flecks of gold can still be found.