What if blossoming wasn't something that happens to you…
but something you choose?

On the way home from a breathwork session, I saw a woman walking straight down the middle of the road—no rush, no apology, fully in her own lane (literally).

Most people?

Judging.

Confused.

But here's what hit me:

👉 She decided how she was going to show up.

And that's the point.

• Everyone is operating from their own mental model
• Most people are unconsciously following rules, patterns, expectations
• Very few people consciously choose their expression

You don't have to copy anyone else's path.
You don't have to "blend into the lawn."

Because even in a perfect lawn…
fairy rings still grow.

And those "imperfections"?
They're actually signs of a healthy ecosystem.

• Your struggles? → Conditions for growth
• Your uniqueness? → Part of the ecosystem
• Your path? → Not meant to match anyone else's

The tree doesn't look at the flower and say,
"You're doing it wrong."

So why are you doing that to yourself?

Breathwork isn't the answer.
It's the environment creator.

It gives you:

• Space
• Stillness
• Awareness

So your natural expression—your blossoming—can actually unfold.

I don't care how you blossom.

I care that you do.

Stop waiting for permission.
Stop copying someone else's bloom.

👉 Look at your life right now:
What are the conditions creating?
What are you allowing?

Because whether you realize it or not…

You're already becoming something.

The only question is—
did you choose it?

Patrick van der Burght is a business partner of Dr Robert Cialdini, who wrote the book 'INFLUENCE – The Psychology of Persuasion', which is considered by many top CEOs to be the best business book of all time. Patrick, is a Founding Member of the Cialdini Institute, the only active Cialdini Institute Licensed Trainer in Australia and New Zealand, and a Certified Online Influence Specialist. He has been teaching ethical persuasion to professionals and teams since 2000, which helps them accelerate towards goals, and build strong relationships, whether it be in sales, advertising, leadership or team management. Patrick also co-authored the book 'How to Hear YES More Often' in 2024, and has his own podcast show 'Ethical Persuasion Unlocked'.

In this conversation, Patrick Van Der Burght, a leading expert in ethical persuasion and a partner of Dr. Cialdini, shares insights on the principles of persuasion, the importance of ethical practices in influencing others, and the science behind decision-making. He discusses his journey into the field, his connection with Dr. Cialdini, and the practical applications of persuasion techniques in various contexts, including digital environments. The conversation emphasizes the distinction between ethical persuasion and manipulation, the significance of building relationships, and the impact of decision fatigue on sales processes.

Takeaways

You can be productive without lying or cheating.
Authority is a powerful principle of persuasion.
Liking influences decisions more than we realize.
Forceful sales tactics can damage credibility.
Building relationships is key to successful persuasion.
Ethical persuasion leads to long-term success.
Decision-making is often driven by unconscious processes.
Understanding your audience's decision-making system is crucial.
Too many options can lead to decision fatigue.
Simple changes can significantly improve persuasion outcomes.

"If you want to hear yes more often."
"I can get lost editing videos."
"I was faced with this challenge."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Ethical Persuasion
06:14 Patrick's Journey into Persuasion
12:04 Connecting with Dr. Cialdini
15:25 Understanding Ethical vs. Manipulative Persuasion
20:16 Core Principles of Hearing Yes More Often
23:05 Understanding Decision-Making: System One vs. System Two
25:03 The Challenge of Selling: Navigating Indecision
27:25 Sales Cycles: Adapting Strategies for Success
31:16 The Power of Relationships in Persuasion
32:56 Persuasion in the Digital Age: Tips for Online Influence
39:37 Common Pitfalls: What Kills Influence Before It Starts
43:52 Practical Applications: Enhancing Persuasion Skills

https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/

You've spent decades building a professional fortress only to realize the foundation is made of sand.

In the high-stakes theater of enterprise leadership, we're taught to override our biology. We ignore the friction and bypass the nervous system to hit the quarterly target. But eventually, the bill comes due. The internal battery hits 4%, and a specific kind of "soul rot" sets in—where the VP title feels brittle and the meetings feel like a waste of your finite life force. If your internal operating system is crashing every afternoon, you don't need more "hustle." You need a better understanding of your own physics.

In this episode, we sit down with Shelley McIntyre, a veteran of the Seattle tech scene who walked away from the corporate machine during the 2020 lockdown. Shelley didn't just change jobs; she reinvented her entire frequency. By using grief coaching as a lens to understand professional change, she helps high-performers navigate the profound loss of identity that comes when you take off the corporate mask. We dive deep into how to stop slogging, start regulating, and reclaim your bandwidth.

In this conversation, we explore:

• The Mechanics of "Soul Rot": Why high-performing environments often lead to a decay of purpose and how to recognize the biological warning signs before you bottom out.
• Grief as a Tool for Change: Understanding that every career pivot is a process of loss, and why you must acknowledge what you're leaving behind to build something coherent.
• The Fallacy of Status: How to detach your self-worth from arbitrary titles and "fancy" credentials to find a more grounded, durable sense of presence.
• Somatic Navigation: Learning to feel for "spaciousness" and a 5% increase in energy as a strategic guide for your next move.
• Replacing the Social Infrastructure: Why you must rebuild your community and routine outside the office walls to avoid the isolation of the "solo" transition.

Stop trying to force a broken system to work. It's time to stop the friction and start the flow. Tune in and learn how to navigate the transition from corporate utility to human resonance.

Connect with Shelley: