This episode with Riana Milne MA, CCTP, Global Life & Love Coach goes straight into the emotional architecture behind love, trauma, and patterns we swear we “grew out of.” She explains how childhood environments silently shape adult relationships and why successful, disciplined, high achieving people often crumble the moment emotional intimacy is required.

Riana breaks down the ten core childhood traumas that affect nearly everyone, why some people repeat toxic patterns without noticing, and how to spot the personality traits that lead to heartbreak. She moves through jealousy, anxious attachment, shutting down, perfectionism, love bombing, boundaries, and the difference between chemistry and compatibility.

Expect to Learn

• Why childhood trauma is universal and why most people minimize it
• How early experiences turn into adult fears, triggers, and patterns
• Why you can be fearless at work but terrified at home
• The hidden signs of narcissists, sociopaths, and love bombers
• Why chemistry pulls you toward the wrong people
• The essential qualities every healthy relationship needs
• How to communicate without shutting down or escalating
• How to protect your partner inside service industry environments
• How to date with clarity instead of chaos

Links:

• Riana's Website
• Lessons in Life and Love podcast

Service starts now.

Follow the show:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I talk mostly to people in and around the service industry space. I'm looking to hear from the people I wish I could have talked to when I was coming up in restaurants. Said another way: I am trying to make sense of this wild, beautiful mess of a life, and help others that are feeling similarly confused and/or lost.

Classic Episodes You May Like:

• #22:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Doug Frost MW MS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #23:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeffrey Morgenthaler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #31:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ET: Entrepreneur (and creator of Surfer on Acid)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #38:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aaron Goldfarb Hunting for Ancient Booze⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #39:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Edward Slingerland's Masterful work on Intoxication⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #46:⁠⁠⁠Andrew Hurley of Vegas.Wine⁠⁠⁠

As always, I’m just here taking notes, trying to figure out what it all means.

Cheers

What if happiness isn’t the goal at all?

Dr. Scott Haas joins Serves You Right for a conversation that moves from Tokyo bathhouses to Boston kitchens to the quiet psychology of joy. We talk about what Japan gets right, what Western culture keeps missing, and why true happiness might start where comfort ends. And of course, why sometimes the reverse of all of those are true too!

He reveals how his years inside Michelin-level kitchens became a masterclass in empathy, structure, and chaos management. From chefs who live like artists to the servers who hold the world together, restaurants seem to be the perfect mirror for human life: loud, messy, and full of meaning.

Expect to Learn

• Why chasing happiness makes us miserable
• The Japanese concept of acceptance and belonging
• What kitchens teach us about purpose and community
• How great chefs balance art, ego, and discipline
• Why contradiction, not certainty, might be the key to peace

Links

Scott Haas on Amazon

Why Be Happy?

Back of House

Service starts now.

Follow the show:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I talk mostly to people in and around the service industry space. I'm looking to hear from the people I wish I could have talked to when I was coming up in restaurants. Said another way: I am trying to make sense of this wild, beautiful mess of a life, and help others that are feeling similarly confused and/or lost.

Classic Episodes You May Like:

• #22:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Doug Frost MW MS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #23:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeffrey Morgenthaler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #31:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ET: Entrepreneur (and creator of Surfer on Acid)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #38:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aaron Goldfarb Hunting for Ancient Booze⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #39:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Edward Slingerland's Masterful work on Intoxication⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #46:⁠⁠Andrew Hurley of Vegas.Wine⁠⁠

As always, I’m just here taking notes, trying to figure out what it all means.

Cheers

Most people think hospitality is about smiling and serving. Eddie Heintz says they’re wrong.

He’s the Director of Hospitality at Caymus Vineyards and the author of Making Welcome, a book that blends Buddhist insight, Hawaiian spirit, and hard-earned lessons from decades in fine dining. He believes kindness is a skill, not a trait and, most importantly, that it can be trained, practiced, and measured like any craft.

In this conversation, Eddie reveals how he went from bartending at TGI Fridays to running service at one of Napa’s most celebrated wineries. He talks about the managers who promoted him with no training, the heartbreak that led him to The Four Agreements, and the angry guests who taught him more than any leadership seminar.

We unpack the real definition of hospitality, the power of seeing people when they feel invisible, and why the spirit of aloha changed how he leads teams and lives his life.

Expect to Learn

• Why “you can’t teach hospitality” is a lie
• The difference between service and genuine care
• How Eckhart Tolle and Buddhist practice show up in restaurant life
• The Four Agreements as a management framework
• What to do when a guest melts down
• How to lead people you might need to let go
• Why small kindnesses build real profit

Links

• Get in touch
• His website ()
• His book, Making Welcome
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Service starts now.

Follow the show:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I talk mostly to people in and around the service industry space. I'm looking to hear from the people I wish I could have talked to when I was coming up in restaurants. Said another way: I am trying to make sense of this wild, beautiful mess of a life, and help others that are feeling similarly confused and/or lost.

Classic Episodes You May Like:

• #22:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Doug Frost MW MS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #23:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeffrey Morgenthaler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #31:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ET: Entrepreneur (and creator of Surfer on Acid)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #38:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aaron Goldfarb Hunting for Ancient Booze⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #39:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Edward Slingerland's Masterful work on Intoxication⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• #46:⁠Andrew Hurley of Vegas.Wine⁠

As always, I’m just here taking notes, trying to figure out what it all means.

Cheers

Chef Franck Desplechin’s journey defies logic. From a young apprentice in France to executive pastry chef in Hawaii, from Michelin kitchens to building Incrementum, his story is a masterclass in reinvention. He talks about failing forward, learning languages under fire, and turning discomfort into the engine of growth.

This episode dives deep into the psychology of leadership, burnout, and the addiction to fixing what’s broken. Franck reveals how luxury hospitality taught him empathy, how he rebuilt himself outside the kitchen, and why chasing balance is harder than chasing stars.

Expect to Learn:

• How to transform failure into your strongest credential
• Why most “natural leaders” aren’t actually leaders
• The hidden language of world-class hospitality
• How to thrive when you don’t belong anywhere
• The mindset that turns chaos into mastery

Links:

• ChefFranck.com

Service starts now.

Follow the show:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I talk mostly to people in and around the service industry space. I'm looking to hear from the people I wish I could have talked to when I was coming up in restaurants. Said another way: I am trying to make sense of this wild, beautiful mess of a life, and help others that are feeling similarly confused and/or lost.

Classic Episodes You May Like:

-#22:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Doug Frost MW MS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-#23:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeffrey Morgenthaler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-#31:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ET: Entrepreneur (and creator of Surfer on Acid)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-#38:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aaron Goldfarb Hunting for Ancient Booze⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-#39:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Edward Slingerland's Masterful work on Intoxication⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

As always, I’m just here taking notes, trying to figure out what it all means.

Cheers

Kelli White has spent her career translating the mystique of wine into something real, personal, and alive. From working the floor at Veritas to writing for GuildSomm and publishing monumental books, she’s seen every side of the industry, and she’s tired of seeing people feel small around a glass of wine.

This episode dives deep into the psychology of taste, the myth of “right and wrong” pairings, and the subtle power that comes from understanding the world’s most romantic beverage. Kelli shares stories from her early days running a wine shop filled with musicians, lessons from Napa’s vineyards, and how one simple glass of Châteauneuf-du-Pape changed her life.

Whether you’re a sommelier, a server, or just someone who wants to love wine without the pressure, this is your guide to doing it with grace, intelligence, and joy.

Expect to Learn:

• Why smell drives the majority of flavor (and how to train it)
• How to tell the difference between preference and quality
• The truth about wine “rules” and which ones to ignore
• Why your wine glass obsession might be pointless
• How to explore wine systematically without getting lost
• The mindset shift that turns wine knowledge into real-world power
• What “fine wine must be grown” really means
• How choosing wine can reveal character, leadership, and social awareness

Links:

• Wine Confident by Kelli White
• Napa Valley, Then & Now
• GuildSomm Articles by Kelli White (Free Access)

Service starts now.

Follow the show:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I talk mostly to people in and around the service industry space. I'm looking to hear from the people I wish I could have talked to when I was coming up in restaurants. Said another way: I am trying to make sense of this wild, beautiful mess of a life, and help others that are feeling similarly confused and/or lost. You can find more of my work at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠my blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and all my social links are at the bottom of that page.

Classic Episodes You May Like:

-#22:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Doug Frost MW MS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-#23:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeffrey Morgenthaler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-#31:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ET: Entrepreneur (and creator of Surfer on Acid)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-#38:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aaron Goldfarb Hunting for Ancient Booze⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-#39:⁠⁠⁠⁠Edward Slingerland's Masterful work on Intoxication⁠⁠⁠⁠

As always, I’m just here taking notes, trying to figure out what it all means.

Cheers