#51 Heather Melville: The Hidden Reason Toxic Love Hooks You

Heather Melville walked into engineering school to escape a toxic relationship. Instead, she found the clarity that finally saved her. Today she teaches people the truth most of us avoid. You are not stuck because you are weak. You are stuck because your brain has learned to mistake danger for connection.In this conversation, Heather explains why smart people fall into toxic relationships. And, more importantly, why they stay. How the brain gets hooked on emotional chaos. And how you can rewire yourself so you stop settling for partners who drain your life.She also reveals the surprising habits that rebuild confidence. The exact moment she realized she was already alone. And what you must fix inside yourself before you can ever choose a healthy relationship.Stay to the end. The last twenty minutes will change how you date, how you trust, and how you see yourself.We talk about the difference between self esteem and self worth. How emotional turbulence becomes addictive. Why people misread red flags as butterflies. And how your nervous system can trick you into staying with someone who is hurting you. Heather shares the exact steps she uses to coach clients who have left abusive relationships and are terrified of repeating the pattern.If you’ve ever wondered why you attract the same type of partner, why you ignore your instincts, or how to rebuild your confidence after betrayal, this episode gives you a roadmap.Expect to LearnHow toxic partners train your brain to crave chaosWhy self worth is the root of every healthy relationshipThe subtle early signs most people ignoreHow to rebuild trust in yourself after abuseWhy loneliness keeps people trapped\How to date again without repeating your old patternsWhy your energy at work collapses when your relationship doesHow to know when conflict is healthy and when it is manipulationLinksHeather’s siteService starts now.Follow the show:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I talk mostly to people in and around the service industry space. I'm looking to hear from the people I wish I could have talked to when I was coming up in restaurants. Said another way: I am trying to make sense of this wild, beautiful mess of a life, and help others that are feeling similarly confused and/or lost. Classic Episodes You May Like:#22:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Doug Frost MW MS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#23:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jeffrey Morgenthaler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#31:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ET: Entrepreneur (and creator of Surfer on Acid)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#38:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aaron Goldfarb Hunting for Ancient Booze⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#39:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Edward Slingerland's Masterful work on Intoxication⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#46:⁠⁠⁠⁠Andrew Hurley of Vegas.Wine⁠⁠⁠⁠As always, I’m just here taking notes, trying to figure out what it all means.Cheers