Who this episode is for:
Those navigating trauma like a damn obstacle course.
Anyone who’s ever been raised by chaos and still learned how to laugh.
People who’ve walked out of therapy like it was a bad Tinder date.
Survivors of fucked-up families who still believe in healing.
Anyone tired of tiptoeing around their own pain.
Those who love a little irreverence with their recovery.
And yes—even people who aren’t in recovery but have ever felt like a complete mess trying to hold their shit together.

This episode is the official introduction to our new co-host—and certified chaos enthusiast—Zoë Mendenall, MSW, trauma warrior, and walking tornado of wit, wounds, and wisdom.

Chris and Jeff crack the mic with Zoë, who used to intern for Chris’ wife Ashley, and somehow found her way from clinical work to co-hosting this circus. She’s no stranger to the team—but now she’s on the mic, and she’s unfiltered.

Zoë’s story? It’s brutal, beautiful, and deeply human. From growing up in a cyclone of addiction, loss, mental illness, and family trauma—to healing her throat chakra and ditching the vape—Zoë holds nothing back. She’s a proud “Jesus freak,” a therapy regular, a former Twitter menace (“If you’re not trying to mate like an anglerfish, I’m not interested”), and a woman who’s seen the inside of hell and still sings in church. For real.

You’ll laugh. You’ll wince. You might cry. But mostly, you’ll feel like you just sat down with a friend who finally said all the shit you’ve been thinking. This is why Zoë belongs here—with us. With you. With this whole messed-up, miraculous community.

Oh, and she ghosted Jeff’s Facebook request. So there’s that.

• 00:00 Introduction to Pondoff's Anonymous and Sponsors
• 02:57 The Impact of Chewing Sounds and Misophonia
• 06:00 Zoe's Introduction and Her Unique Perspective
• 08:58 Zoe's Life Experiences and Challenges
• 12:07 Healing and Recovery: The Role of Vaping and Chakras
• 14:59 Zoe's Tour of Illinois Recovery Center
• 18:02 Transformational Journeys in Recovery
• 20:59 Navigating Online Interactions and Safety Concerns
• 21:43 The Impact of Social Media on Mental Health
• 24:41 Navigating Personal Relationships and Boundaries
• 27:11 Childhood Experiences and Family Dynamics
• 35:15 Understanding Trauma and Its Long-Term Effects
• 43:28 Friendship and Community Support
• 44:53 Launching a New Church Initiative
• 46:59 Mental Health Conversations
• 49:41 Navigating Family Dynamics
• 51:58 Loss and Grief
• 58:50 Life Changes and Adaptation
• 01:05:44 Navigating Digital Privacy and Parenting Challenges
• 01:08:13 The Impact of Show Choir on Personal Growth
• 01:09:52 Family Dynamics and Emotional Turmoil
• 01:12:37 The Journey to Adoption and Finding a New Family
• 01:15:30 Pursuing Education and Career Aspirations
• 01:18:00 The Role of Community in Healing and Support
• 01:20:38 The Importance of Empathy and Connection in Recovery

Sponsored by:
🛡️ McKelvey Insurance
🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy

Episode 37 –

The Sisters Who Survived: From Pills to Purpose

Who this episode is for:

Anyone who’s ever been told to “get your shit together.”

Those battling addiction or loving someone who is.

The ones who grew up too fast, numbed out too young, or ran too far.
And the rest of you who think you’ve heard every addiction story out there—this one will make you shut up and listen.

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guests
• 03:07 The Journey of Addiction: Early Experiences
• 06:00 The Impact of Environment on Substance Use
• 09:04 Transitioning from Pills to Heroin
• 12:06 Family Dynamics and Addiction
• 15:09 The Role of Trauma in Addiction
• 18:00 The Cycle of Addiction and Recovery
• 20:58 The Struggles of Active Addiction
• 24:03 The Reality of Treatment and Relapse
• 26:59 The Influence of Relationships on Addiction
• 29:56 Finding Hope and Recovery
• 32:48 Reflections on the Journey
• 35:59 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
• 45:54 Transformative Journeys: Overcoming Addiction
• 54:46 The Struggles of Withdrawal and Recovery
• 01:06:20 Finding Balance: Life After Addiction
• 01:18:27 The Power of Sharing Stories in Recovery

Show Notes

Chris, Jeff, and the newest chaos conductor Zoe open up Episode 37 with an East Coast energy injection from sisters Valeen and Tiffany — survivors, former addicts, and walking proof that even the wildest flames can cool into something fierce and steady.

You might’ve seen them on Soft White Underbelly, but here they go deeper — Jersey grit, Texas dust, and all the dark in-between.

From faking prescriptions in high school and running oxy scams with a 50-year-old printer lady to shooting meth in Texas kitchens and hiding dope from dogs (that literally snitched), these two don’t sugarcoat shit.

They talk about how pills turned to heroin, how state-funded rehabs can feel like the Wild West, and how sisterhood can be both your downfall and your lifeline.

They’ve buried friends, raised kids, lost everything, and somehow still found a way to laugh — the kind of laugh that only comes after years of crying in bathrooms.

Tiffany admits she “flashed her tits and fought her sister” before getting sober; Valeen calls rehab her second home.

They’re brutally honest about the switch from chaos to clarity — meth-fueled paranoia, vertigo that still haunts, and the terrifying truth that fentanyl has made ‘experimenting’ a death wish.

By the time they reach the part about Kensington, Philly — the zombie apocalypse of America’s drug scene — you’ll understand why these women don’t do half measures anymore.

Their new high is peace, gratitude, and laughing at their own scars.

And yeah, they still drop F-bombs, still talk about Benadryl benders, still love hard. But now it’s with clear eyes.

This episode is a raw love letter to resilience — two sisters who clawed their way out of hell and decided to tell the world what it really looks like when you stop running and start healing.

Watch their original story on Soft White Underbelly to see how far they’ve come.

Sponsored by:

McKelvey Insurance – quick solutions to real-life insurance problems anywhere in Illinois or Missouri.
Visit www.mckelveyins.com

LightSource Psychotherapy – therapy that helps you find your light when everything else feels dark.
Visit www.findyourlightsource.com

Pondoff's Anonymous - Episode 36 Show Notes

Who this episode is for:

• Those in recovery, barely holding on, or trying to claw their way in
• People sober-curious but still actively using
• Families who’ve lost someone to addiction—or feel like they’re about to
• Anyone who’s been burned by a church and swore it off for good
• Spiritual seekers looking for something real, raw, and redemptive
• And anyone who’s ever thought, “There’s gotta be more to life than this shit”

Episode 36 — Matt Miofsky: Building Church for the Fucked-Up and Searching

This one’s not your average episode—it’s a blueprint for holy disruption. Pastor Matt Miofsky of The Gathering joins Pondoff and the crew to unpack a radical new venture: Gathering Underground, a Wednesday-night worship space and recovery community aimed straight at the hearts of people deep in addiction, doubt, grief, and the aftermath of church trauma.

Matt and Chris don’t sugarcoat it. They talk real—about transformation, identity, spiritual skepticism, and the raw, bleeding edge where recovery meets faith. From humble beginnings with no carpet and a bunch of broken people, The Gathering is launching a new site at 2360 McCausland in St. Louis, smack next to the Walgreens where more than a few folks once did heroin in the parking lot. Now? It’s sacred ground.

What you’ll hear:

• The difference between churches built on fear vs. ones grounded in love
• Why recovery is more than just sobriety—it’s purpose, calling, and rebirth
• How to claim an identity (like “pastor” or “addict”) when your soul isn’t ready
• Stories of relapse, reckoning, baptisms in rehab, and the holy power of a smoke break
• The gritty launch of a Jesus-centered recovery night for addicts, alcoholics, loved ones, codependents, trauma survivors, and anyone who can’t quite keep their shit together

Gathering Underground isn’t trying to be another Sunday morning—this is midweek medicine for the walking wounded. Whether you’re detoxing, dragging kids with you, or just there for the coffee and conversation, this community is for you. No guilt. No shame. Just people who get it.

Location:

• Wednesdays @ 6 PM
• The Gathering McCausland – 2360 McCausland Ave, St. Louis, MO
• Accessible by two major bus stops
• Free pizza, smoke breaks encouraged
• Narcan on site
• Childcare provided
• Music won’t be your grandma’s hymns

Follow The Gathering on Instagram: @gatheringnow

Learn more or get involved: https://gatheringnow.org

CHAPTERS:

• 00:00 Introduction to Pondoff's Anonymous and Sponsors
• 02:55 Growth and Expansion of the Church
• 06:47 The Role of Community in Recovery
• 11:20 Transformation Through Recovery
• 17:53 Creating an Inclusive Space for Recovery
• 22:35 The Gathering Underground Recovery Community
• 25:49 Addressing Past Church Experiences
• 30:02 The Importance of Love Over Fear in Faith
• 36:55 The Journey from Fear to Love
• 39:17 Building a Community for Recovery
• 44:57 Transformation and Community Engagement
• 51:09 Creating Safe Spaces for Loved Ones
• 54:41 Healing for Families Affected by Addiction
• 01:00:04 Curating an Inclusive Recovery Environment
• 01:06:22 Understanding and Identity in Recovery
• 01:11:00 The Role of Personal Stories in Recovery

Sponsored by:

McKelvey Insurance – Real humans solving real-life insurance bullshit. Personal or commercial, they’ve got you covered without the runaround. Visit https://www.mckelveyins.com or call/text 618-623-0080.

LightSource Psychotherapy – Individual, group, and family therapy that doesn’t suck. Based in Belleville, IL and run by people who actually get it. Visit https://findyourlightsource.com to learn more.

• Those in recovery, barely holding on, or trying to claw their way in
• People sober-curious but still actively using
• Families who’ve lost someone to addiction—or feel like they’re about to
• Anyone who’s been burned by a church and swore it off for good
• Spiritual seekers looking for something real, raw, and redemptive
• And anyone who’s ever thought, “There’s gotta be more to life than this shit”

This one’s not your average episode—it’s a blueprint for holy disruption. Pastor Matt Miofsky of The Gathering joins Pondoff and the crew to unpack a radical new venture: Gathering Underground, a Wednesday-night worship space and recovery community aimed straight at the hearts of people deep in addiction, doubt, grief, and the aftermath of church trauma.

Matt and Chris don’t sugarcoat it. They talk real—about transformation, identity, spiritual skepticism, and the raw, bleeding edge where recovery meets faith. From humble beginnings with no carpet and a bunch of broken people, The Gathering is launching a new site at 2360 McCausland in St. Louis, smack next to the Walgreens where more than a few folks once did heroin in the parking lot. Now? It’s sacred ground.

• The difference between churches built on fear vs. ones grounded in love
• Why recovery is more than just sobriety—it’s purpose, calling, and rebirth
• How to claim an identity (like “pastor” or “addict”) when your soul isn’t ready
• Stories of relapse, reckoning, baptisms in rehab, and the holy power of a smoke break
• The gritty launch of a Jesus-centered recovery night for addicts, alcoholics, loved ones, codependents, trauma survivors, and anyone who can’t quite keep their shit together

Gathering Underground isn’t trying to be another Sunday morning—this is midweek medicine for the walking wounded. Whether you’re detoxing, dragging kids with you, or just there for the coffee and conversation, this community is for you. No guilt. No shame. Just people who get it.

• Wednesdays @ 6 PM
• The Gathering McCausland – 2360 McCausland Ave, St. Louis, MO
• Accessible by two major bus stops
• Free pizza, smoke breaks encouraged
• Narcan on site
• Childcare provided
• Music won’t be your grandma’s hymns

Follow The Gathering on Instagram: @gatheringnow

Learn more or get involved: https://gatheringnow.org

• 00:00 Introduction to Pondoff's Anonymous and Sponsors
• 02:55 Growth and Expansion of the Church
• 06:47 The Role of Community in Recovery
• 11:20 Transformation Through Recovery
• 17:53 Creating an Inclusive Space for Recovery
• 22:35 The Gathering Underground Recovery Community
• 25:49 Addressing Past Church Experiences
• 30:02 The Importance of Love Over Fear in Faith
• 36:55 The Journey from Fear to Love
• 39:17 Building a Community for Recovery
• 44:57 Transformation and Community Engagement
• 51:09 Creating Safe Spaces for Loved Ones
• 54:41 Healing for Families Affected by Addiction
• 01:00:04 Curating an Inclusive Recovery Environment
• 01:06:22 Understanding and Identity in Recovery
• 01:11:00 The Role of Personal Stories in Recovery

McKelvey Insurance – Real humans solving real-life insurance bullshit. Personal or commercial, they’ve got you covered without the runaround. Visit https://www.mckelveyins.com or call/text 618-623-0080.

LightSource Psychotherapy – Individual, group, and family therapy that doesn’t suck. Based in Belleville, IL and run by people who actually get it. Visit https://findyourlightsource.com to learn more.

• Those battling addiction or depression.
• Anyone who’s been crushed by success, fame, or the weight of their own expectations.
• The baseball die-hards who remember that red soul patch and the 2006 World Series run.
• Parents and families trying to understand addiction in someone they love.
• Anyone who’s ever thought they were “too far gone.”
• And honestly — anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and had to start over.

Former MLB star and two-time World Series champion Scott Spiezio sits down with Chris Pondoff and Jeff Allen for one of the rawest conversations yet. From standing on top of the baseball world with the Angels and Cardinals to hiding vodka in the clubhouse and doing lines before games, Spiezio opens up about addiction, ego, family, and finding redemption. This one’s a ride — full of truth bombs, laughter, and brutal honesty. No filters, no PR polish, just real talk from a man who’s lived both sides of the dream.

• 00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships
• 02:59 Meet Scott Spiezio: Music and Baseball Background
• 09:20 Musical Influences and Family Connections
• 12:02 Family Dynamics and Personal Interests
• 16:07 Early Signs of Athletic Talent
• 19:00 The Journey to Major League Baseball
• 23:04 Mental Preparation and Visualization Techniques
• 25:59 Reflections on Retirement and Addiction
• 30:07 Navigating Recovery and Personal Growth
• 32:10 Defying the Odds: From Sports to Music
• 39:07 Injury and Mental Health: The Turning Point
• 45:55 The Descent into Alcoholism
• 55:56 The Highs and Lows of Fame
• 01:01:52 The Crossroads: Relationships and Addiction
• 01:03:41 The Weight of Fame and Addiction
• 01:05:10 The Struggle with Substance Abuse
• 01:07:55 Living on the Edge: The Highs and Lows
• 01:10:25 Facing Consequences: The Overdose Incident
• 01:12:33 Reconnecting with Family
• 01:18:10 Understanding Addiction: Family Dynamics
• 01:21:26 The Downward Spiral: A Series of Events
• 01:30:46 Seeking Help: The Road to Recovery
• 01:35:08 Struggles with Addiction and Recovery
• 01:40:11 The Role of Faith in Recovery
• 01:45:13 Miracles and Transformation
• 01:52:51 Sharing Stories and Inspiring Others

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scott_spiezio/
• X (Twitter): https://x.com/scott_spiezio
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Scott-Spiezio-Its-Never-Too-Late-100065641682903/
• MLB Feature: https://www.mlb.com/news/scott-spiezio-ed-spiezio-share-addiction-journey
• Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Spiezio

• McKelvey Insurance — Website: https://www.mckelveyins.com/ — Call or text: 618-623-0080
• LightSource Psychotherapy — Website: https://findyourlightsource.com/

Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/).

• Anyone deep in the bottle and lying to themselves
• The “functioning” alcoholics hiding bottles in the garage
• Friends or family watching someone drink themselves to death
• People in recovery who still white-knuckle their way through a gas station
• Anyone who’s ever told themselves “I’ve got it under control”
• People who don’t think they have a drinking problem—but maybe do

Sean Keeley joins Chris and Jeff (Jakob’s out for a month—he’s off getting married, congrats you beautiful bastard) to drop a quiet bomb of a story—the kind that doesn’t come with sirens and flashing lights, just slow, silent self-destruction. No DUIs. No arrests. No bar fights. Just airplane bottles hidden in gloveboxes, vodka disguised as water, and a growing sense of dread that everything was about to fall apart.

Sean lays out how he went from managing people and showing up to work every day to drinking 15 mini bottles of 99 Bananas before checking into rehab. Twice. And when the second round didn’t stick, he didn’t quit. He built his own system. Breathalyzers at home and in the car. Daily accountability to his wife and coworkers. A plan with no wiggle room.

This episode isn’t about hitting bottom. It’s about what happens when you’re about to and decide to turn the wheel.

• 00:00 – Introduction and Sponsorships
  McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/)
• 02:25 – Golfing Experiences and Personal Stories
  Cold brews, bad golf, hipster confessions, and rake-stepping laughs.
• 12:12 – Introducing Sean and His Unique Story
  Quiet alcoholism that didn’t look chaotic—until it was.
• 24:00 – The Journey to Acknowledging Alcoholism
  Sharpie bottle lines. Hidden Jameson. Growing denial.
• 26:24 – The Journey to Recovery Begins
  First stint in rehab. Detox. Relapse after 45 days.
• 30:30 – The Struggles of Sobriety
  The 99 Bananas episode. Hiding the drinking better. Medical red flags.
• 39:48 – Finding Accountability in Recovery
  Breathalyzers at home and work. No escape hatch.
• 46:49 – The Role of Medication in Sobriety
  From Trazodone to Naltrexone to nothing.
• 54:42 – Building a Support System
  Wife, coworkers, radical honesty—not AA this time.
• 55:15 – Facing the Consequences of Addiction
  Liver failure warnings. Watching others die from it.
• 01:01:14 – The Journey to Sobriety: Finding What Works
  No sponsors. Just systems. Brutal self-honesty.
• 01:10:04 – Building a New Life: Recovery and Personal Growth
  No meds. No excuses. Just better health and clearer living.
• 01:17:43 – Strength in Adversity: Overcoming Life's Challenges
  Christmas Eve becomes Sean’s sober date. One day at a time.
• 01:25:44 – The Ripple Effect: Inspiring Change in Others
  Sean starts giving back, pushing for change, helping others see the signs.

• Wagon Coffee Roasters (Denver-based Recovery Café): https://wagoncoffeeroasters.com
• Il Bel Lago Italian Restaurant (Where Sean celebrated Year 1): https://www.bellagostl.com

• McKelvey Insurance
  https://www.mckelveyins.com
  Quick solutions to real-life insurance bullsh*t.
• LightSource Psychotherapy
  https://findyourlightsource.com
  If you’re f*cked up mentally or emotionally—this is where you start digging out.

• McKelvey Insurance
• LightSource Psychotherapy

• Ben’s Friends St. Louis
• Taylor Streiff Instagram

• Musicians who drink more than they practice
• Restaurant industry lifers trying to stay off the sauce
• Those battling anxiety, addiction, and the lies they told to cover both
• Family members supporting someone in recovery
• Anyone who's ever made a mess of their life and called it "normal"

Taylor Streiff — Musician, Former Heavyweight Boozer, and Proof That Recovery Can Rock

Taylor Streiff rolls into Pondoff's Anonymous with his whole damn soul. He's got restaurant war stories, musician grind tales, and a past soaked in UV Blue and regret. But this isn't your typical redemption arc—this one's got a jukebox, a jazz fest, and enough self-inflicted chaos to fill an HBO mini-series. From getting misdiagnosed and medicated as an anxious kid, to puking UV Blue into a blue toilet, to touring the country as a piano-playing savant, Taylor takes us through his decades-long detour into addiction and how he finally got clean enough to be present for the people he loves. If you've ever thrown up and said "never again" only to do it all again the next night, welcome to church.

• 00:00 Introduction to Pondoff's Anonymous and Sponsors
• 01:45 Meet Taylor Streiff: A Journey in Music and Recovery
• 06:03 The Impact of Family and Community in Recovery
• 08:58 Ego and the Struggles of Addiction
• 11:58 Musical Beginnings and Influences
• 17:52 The Spiritual Connection to Music
• 21:57 Navigating Introversion and Anxiety in Music and Life
• 23:20 Understanding Introversion and Extroversion
• 25:05 Navigating Anxiety and Misdiagnosis
• 27:48 High School Experiences and Social Dynamics
• 30:54 First Jobs and the Restaurant Industry
• 34:53 College Aspirations and Musical Journey
• 42:30 Rejection and Finding a Path
• 44:33 Freshman Year: Love, Loss, and Lessons
• 49:39 Confronting Loss and Addiction
• 52:40 The Illusion of Normalcy
• 56:14 The Struggles of a Touring Musician
• 01:01:11 The Turning Point: A Move to St. Louis
• 01:08:43 The COVID-19 Impact on Drinking Habits
• 01:13:16 The Journey Begins: From Bar Back to Bartender
• 01:15:06 Facing Personal Challenges: Family Health Crises
• 01:16:32 The Turning Point: Seeking Help and AA
• 01:18:37 Struggles with Sobriety: The Reality of Addiction
• 01:21:25 California Sober: A Controversial Approach
• 01:24:38 Vulnerability in Recovery: Honesty and Support
• 01:26:57 The Relapse Debate: Defining Terms and Experiences
• 01:29:25 Rehab Experience: A New Beginning
• 01:32:43 Life After Rehab: Embracing Authenticity
• 01:39:28 Navigating Sobriety in a Triggering Environment
• 01:40:42 The Power of Music in Recovery
• 01:43:44 Authenticity and Connection Through Art
• 01:44:58 The Journey of a Musician in Recovery
• 01:47:15 Balancing Work and Passion
• 01:51:01 The Significance of Recovery Tokens
• 01:53:31 Support Systems in Sobriety
• 01:56:48 The Role of Therapy in Recovery

Who this episode is for:
Anyone who has loved an addict and didn’t know what to do. People drowning in codependency and calling it love. Addicts who swore they would never end up like their parents. Folks in recovery who still flinch at intimacy. And anyone not in recovery who keeps setting their life on fire and calling it growth.

Kristin Casey shows up with zero filters. She is a recovering addict, former sex worker, author, and the ex-girlfriend of Joe Walsh from the Eagles. This is not a glamorized rock story. It is a brutally honest look at addiction, survival, and the messy miracle of healing.

Chris and Jeff dig into modern drug dangers, the collapse of intimacy in addiction, sex work, sobriety, and spiritual growth that actually sticks. Kristin talks about stopping the running, coming back to herself, and why recovery is not just quitting. It is becoming someone new. There is heartbreak, heavy truth, raw honesty, and still a few laughs.

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to the Conversation
• 01:54 The Impact of Addiction on Lives
• 04:52 Personal Stories of Struggle and Recovery
• 07:57 The Evolution of Substance Abuse
• 11:05 The Role of Environment in Addiction
• 14:02 The Dangers of Modern Drugs
• 17:10 The Journey Through Recovery
• 19:55 The Influence of Relationships on Addiction
• 23:11 The Challenges of Treatment
• 25:54 Reflections on Sobriety and Life After Addiction
• 38:31 A Fateful Meeting with Joe Walsh
• 42:52 Navigating Love and Heartbreak
• 46:05 The Descent into Addiction
• 51:13 The Impact of Substance Abuse
• 55:09 Understanding Addiction Through Literature
• 01:00:24 Healing Relationships and Personal Growth
• 01:05:40 The Journey of Forgiveness
• 01:10:00 Finding Purpose in Recovery
• 01:16:07 Finding a Second Chance
• 01:19:13 The Struggle for Sobriety
• 01:22:46 The Role of Spirituality in Recovery
• 01:25:27 Empowering Others Through Experience
• 01:29:43 Transitioning from Sex Work to Coaching
• 01:33:43 Navigating Vulnerability in Relationships
• 01:48:01 Supporting Women in Recovery

Kristin Casey’s Books
Explore her work here: https://www.kristincasey.com/
Titles include: Rock Monster: My Life with Joe Walsh and Casey Dancer: A Memoir About Dating, Stripping, and a Little Hot Yoga.

Hosts
Chris and Jeff

Sponsored by
Illinois Recovery Center
McKelvey Insurance
LightSource Psychotherapy