In this episode of Mother Mayhem, we’re talking about something every daughter eventually faces on the healing journey: the messy middle.

You’ve moved beyond survival mode: less hypervigilance, fewer shutdowns but freedom and peace still feel out of reach.

Instead, you’re navigating grief, anger, second-guessing, perfectionism, and the uncomfortable work of slowing down.

It’s confusing, frustrating, and messy. And yet…it’s where the deepest growth happens.

Together we’ll explore:

-Why grief and anger are essential parts of healing, not setbacks.

-How second-guessing shows up in the messy middle (and what to do about it).

-What it means to value rest, quiet, and connection without chaos.

-Practical ways to hold both grief and light through “Yes, And.”

-How to stop picking up every single thought trauma brain throws your way.

All of the questions in this episode came directly from daughters inside the Mayhem Daughters community.

If you want to have your own questions answered, hear from other daughters about their experiences, and find a safe, trauma-informed space to heal, visit MayhemDaughters.com

You are not alone in this messy middle. Let’s walk it together.

What happens when your body was never fully yours to begin with?

In this powerful episode we’re having a conversation many daughters have never had out loud about bodily autonomy, maternal boundary violations, and the silent, insidious ways that narcissistic or emotionally immature mothers can lay claim to their daughters' bodies.

We’re not just talking about “bad boundaries” here. We’re talking about unspoken abuse, the kind that hides behind phrases like “for your own good,” and leaves daughters confused, ashamed, and disconnected from their own bodies.

What it means when a mother claims ownership over her daughter’s body

Why so many daughters hesitate to use the word abuse, even when their bodies tell the truth.

Examples of physical invasiveness, coercion, and boundary-crossing framed as “care”

The nervous system responses (like freezing or bracing) that reveal stored trauma

Why healing often begins not with rage, but with quiet remembering and somatic truth

How to notice your body's signals and what it looks like to reclaim agency

This is not a checklist of symptoms. It’s a truth telling

This episode is tender. It may be activating. Go slowly. Bring water, take breaks, and, if at all possible, don’t listen alone.

Felt shame around sexuality, desire, or touch

Froze during intimacy, pelvic exams, or physical care

Been told you were “too sensitive” when something felt off

Had a mother who shared your private information, commented on your body, or touched you in ways that felt confusing or wrong

Struggled to name what happened because it wasn’t “overt” enough to count as abuse

You might relate if you’ve ever:

Felt shame around sexuality, desire, or touch

Froze during intimacy, pelvic exams, or physical care

Been told you were “too sensitive” when something felt off

Had a mother who shared your private information, commented on your body, or touched you in ways that felt confusing or wrong

Struggled to name what happened because it wasn’t “overt” enough to count as abuse

to learn about joining group, the community, or to share your story with the show.

Listener Note: This episode includes references to sexual trauma, emotional abuse, and boundary violations. Please take care of your nervous system and step away if you need to. You’re allowed to choose what you hold, and when.

Some daughters have lived through what many would call unthinkable: sexual abuse at the hands of their mothers. It’s a reality too painful to name, let alone process but that doesn’t make it any less real.

And if we want true healing for all daughters, we have to talk about the truths most people can’t hold.

In this powerful two-part episode, This week we talk to a daughter who has survived covert sexual trauma from her mother. Through her story, we begin to unpack the complex ways that maternal sexual abuse can occur.

I'll talk about:

What covert sexual trauma is and how it differs from more overt forms of abuse

How maternal sexual abuse distorts a daughter’s sense of self, safety, and bodily autonomy

Why daughters struggle with shame, confusion, and isolation around these experiences

How survivors can begin to reclaim their truth, their body, and their story

Why this episode, and this conversation, is a long-overdue step in healing the most silenced wounds
Whether this is your experience or not, listening with care will help deepen your understanding of the many forms the mother wound can take—and what it looks like to hold space for daughters living through the darkest parts of it

Visit MayhemDaughters.com for more information about joining group, our online community, or to share your story with the show.

What happens when you’ve gone no contact with your narcissistic mother… but your body still doesn’t feel safe?

This week, we hear from a daughter who has done all the right things. She’s named the abuse, set boundaries, gone to therapy, built a support network… and yet she still lives in fear of accidentally running into her mother.

Together, we explore what it means to feel stuck in trauma responses even after estrangement, and how daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers can begin to trust their bodies, honor their fear, and create protection without self-abandonment.

Why going no contact doesn’t always mean your nervous system feels safe

• The difference between trauma brain and trauma wisdom

• What to do if you run into your narcissistic parent in public

• How to make a realistic safety plan without shame

• The cost of avoidance—and how to choose it consciously

• Why messy, imperfect reactions are actually protection

• You’ve gone low or no contact and still feel like your mother has a hold on you

• You’re a high-functioning daughter who feels like you “should be over it”

• You’re tired of being hypervigilant, but scared to let your guard down

• You’ve ever walked through a store scanning the aisles—just in case

• You want support that honors your head work and your heart work
  
  
  

Why do relationships feel so confusing and hard?

If you grew up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother, you may have learned to associate closeness with danger and distance with safety.

This week,, we're talking about relational trauma, attachment wounds, and how childhood trauma shapes the way you show up in adult relationships.

We'll explore:

• What relational trauma actually means and how it differs from single-event trauma
  How disorganized attachment can leave you stuck in a painful push-pull cycle
  Why your nervous system reacts to love, intimacy, and connection as threats
  What it looks like to relate from survival mode, and how to begin shifting out of it
  Why healing relational trauma requires relationship and how to do that without overwhelming yourself
  Gentle, trauma-informed steps to stretch your capacity for safe, connected relationships
  Whether you’re someone who over-functions in relationships, avoids intimacy altogether, or struggles to trust your own feelings, I get it. You’re protecting yourself in the only way your system knows how.

• Resources:

• Listen to Episode 105 first: Why You Feel This Way: Trauma, the Nervous System, & the Healing Journey

  
  

  
  
  
  

This week, we’re moving beyond the trauma buzzwords to explain why you feel the way you do and what it really means to begin healing from relational trauma.

You’ll learn:

• What trauma looks like for daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers

• The everyday symptoms of complex trauma (even if you’ve never been diagnosed)

• How the nervous system responds to childhood trauma and why it’s not your fault

• A five-phase healing framework that honors your pace and nervous system capacity

• Why this work starts with your relationship to yourself, before anything else
  

• Whether you’re just starting your trauma recovery journey or deep in the process, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a way forward.

  
  

  
  

If you’ve ever felt like your anxiety is “too much” or your grief is “too messy,” you belong here.

Today, meet a daughter of a covertly narcissistic mother who didn’t begin to connect the dots until after her mother’s death. What follows is an honest, layered conversation about complex grief, panic attacks that don’t seem to make sense, and the painful tug-of-war between loyalty and truth.

Together, we explore:

• Why panic in adulthood is often a trauma memory, not a present problem

• The link between narcissistic mothers and hypervigilant nervous systems

• How “should” becomes a survival strategy and why it now feels like self-betrayal

• What it means to grieve a mother who was never emotionally safe

• How memory reconsolidation happens even after a parent's death

• Why waking up to your story years later doesn’t mean the trauma wasn’t real

If you were the daughter who raised yourself, who became the emotional caretaker in childhood, or who still feels guilty for feeling relief after loss, this conversation will help you feel less alone, less crazy, and more understood.

Grief isn’t linear. Panic isn’t random. And your healing gets to make sense to you, even if no one else understands it yet.

🔹 Join Mayhem Daughters, our private community for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers: [Insert link]

🔹Bring it to Group. Tuesday Group is at noon PST.

Thursday Group is at 3:30 PST

Have you ever wondered: Am I always in a trauma response? Is everything I feel just about my past? If so, you’re not alone and you’re not wrong for asking.

Today we break down the differences between trauma brain, nervous system dysregulation, and normal emotional responses.

When you’ve survived a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother, it’s easy to feel like every reaction you have is suspect. But healing isn’t about becoming unbothered. It's about knowing what deserves to bother you.

We also explore why some daughters feel overwhelmed by being chosen, even as they grieve the pain of being left. Whether it’s friendship, dating, or family relationships, many daughters of narcissistic mothers carry deep nervous system patterns that can make connection feel confusing or unsafe.

In this episode, you’ll learn: The difference between trauma brain and dysregulation, and why knowing the distinction matters Why not every reaction, frustration, or irritation is a trauma response. You'll learn how your nervous system protects you, even when there’s no immediate danger, and what to do when being wanted makes you shut down.

We'll also touch on how to tell if your response is about the moment or about memory.

And lastly, we'll explore how healing means you get to choose what matters to you instead of defaulting to what your trauma tells you should

We cover key trauma-informed themes like:

Nervous system regulation and trauma responses

Self-trust vs. over-pathologizing

How daughters of narcissistic mothers respond to intimacy and belonging

Feeling "too much" or "too sensitive" after trauma

Why grief, loss, and closeness can coexist

This episode is for you if:

You’re tired of feeling like your trauma explains everything You want to stop spinning when people pull away or lean in You’re learning how to hear your wise mind instead of only your trauma brain

Mentioned in this episode:

Mayhem Daughters, our online community for daughters

Tuesday Group, Thursday Group

Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things