As we step into 2026, I want to invite you to begin the year with a mindset that is often misunderstood—but deeply freeing:

Acceptance.

Acceptance is not giving up.Acceptance is not weakness.

Acceptance is taking your power back.

After more than 20 years in mental health practice, with intensive training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), one truth has remained consistent across the people I work with—parents, leaders, professionals, and teenagers alike:

We exhaust ourselves trying to control things that were never within our control.

Other people’s reactions.Their assumptions.Their interpretations of our intentions.

And the price we pay for this constant struggle is often our peace.

As a Therapist, one of the most common struggles I see in families is not a lack of love, but misunderstood intentions.

Parents often come into therapy saying,“I just want to protect my child.”

Teenagers come in saying,“I just want to be understood.”

The goal is the same.The emotional language is different.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’m tired of being nice”?

Not because you want to be rude.Not because you’ve suddenly become selfish.But because you’re exhausted—emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically—from constantly adjusting to others.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone.

Many people silently struggle with the pressure to be agreeable, understanding, and pleasant, even when they’re hurting inside. This blog will help you understand why this happens and offer practical steps to reclaim your emotional energy, grounded in psychological insights and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Many people ask, “What’s the difference between being selfish and loving myself? Aren’t they both about choosing myself?”It’s a genuine question—especially for those who grew up prioritizing others, suppressing their needs, or equating sacrifice with love.

But the truth is this:Selfishness and self-love are not the same—and confusing them can deeply affect our relationships and emotional well-being.

The Christmas season is often called “the most wonderful time of the year.” But for many Filipino families, it can also become the most stressful. Between reunions, gift-giving, travel, and financial pressures, the joy of the season can easily be replaced with anxiety and exhaustion.

As a mental health counselor and family therapist, I’ve often heard this phrase from clients:

“I love Christmas, but sometimes, I just want it to be over.”

Why does something meant to bring happiness and connection end up draining us instead? Let’s explore the psychology behind this holiday tension — and how we can bring back the true joy of the season.

From a mental health perspective, small gestures activate feelings of calm and connection in the brain. They release oxytocin — the “love hormone” — which strengthens trust and emotional intimacy.

When we focus on showing love in small ways, we’re telling our partners and families:

“I see you. You matter.”

It’s not about perfection; it’s about presence. You don’t have to plan a big surprise to make someone feel special. Sometimes, the way you listen, smile, or remember their favorite snack says more than any grand gesture could.

In marriage, it’s easy to spot what’s missing. The undone chores. The tone of voice. The things your spouse forgot again. But here’s a gentle truth — constant criticism can dry up intimacy faster than silence ever could.

So many couples drift apart not because they stopped loving each other, but because they stopped appreciating each other. We get used to the good and only react to the bad. But love grows where acknowledgment lives.

Sometimes, we wait for something big to happen before we say thank you. We think gratitude is reserved for milestones — a promotion, a dream vacation, or a major answered prayer. But in truth, joy grows when we start noticing the little things — like someone washing the dishes, sending a kind text, or making you coffee in the morning.

When we pause to be grateful, our hearts shift. Gratitude softens frustration, lightens our emotional load, and opens space for love to flow again. Studies show that expressing gratitude increases serotonin and dopamine — the “happy” hormones that help us feel calm, connected, and content. In short, gratitude heals not only relationships but also our minds.