College admissions have changed dramatically since we were applying—and if you’re parenting a teen right now, you probably feel that in your bones. In this episode, we talk honestly about the new reality of college admissions, why even “perfect on paper” kids aren’t guaranteed a spot anymore, and how this process has become a major source of anxiety for both parents and teens. We share personal stories from our own families and what we’re seeing every day in our therapy offices.

More importantly, we dig into how not to let college admissions take over your identity, your household, or your relationship with your child. This conversation is about perspective, mental health, cost, and helping your kids find a path that actually fits who they are—not who the culture says they should be. If you’re navigating college decisions right now (or know it’s coming), this episode is meant to ground you, calm you, and remind you that there are many roads to a good life.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] – We introduce the episode and why college admissions have become such an emotional minefield for families.
[0:56] – Laura shares why this topic is personal and how fast admissions standards have shifted—even in just a few years.
[1:57] – Why state schools like Florida State University and University of Florida feel nearly impossible to access now.
[3:44] – Laura walks through the very different college paths of her three kids.
[4:50] – We admit our former college “snobbery” and how our perspectives have radically changed.
[5:30] – Colette reflects on her own college choices and why fit matters more than prestige.
[9:30] – The real cost of college—and how skyrocketing tuition is shaping admissions pressure.
[11:27] – Why community college and schools like University of Central Florida deserve way more respect.
[14:49] – How parental fear and identity get tangled up in kids’ college outcomes.
[17:23] – Letting go of the “one right path” myth and expanding what success can look like.
[21:33] – Supporting instead of micromanaging: being air traffic control, not the pilot.
[24:22] – Why kids aren’t always developmentally ready for college—and why that’s okay.
[27:02] – Protecting your home (and your sanity) with financial and emotional boundaries.
[28:48] – Comparison culture, social media, and why they make this process so much harder.
[30:30] – Creative, nonlinear paths: gap years, transfers, CLEP exams, and thinking differently.
[31:54] – Our reminder that there are always choices—and this is not the end of the story.

I

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this episode of Insights from the Couch, we sit down with licensed therapist, writer, and divorce support group leader Oona Metz to have one of the most honest, grounding, and hope-filled conversations we’ve ever had about divorce—especially at midlife. We talk about why divorce still carries so much stigma, why so many women feel isolated and ashamed, and what actually helps people heal instead of staying stuck.

Together, we explore the emotional reality of divorce, why it can feel like a total identity loss, and how healing doesn’t come from rushing forward—but from understanding the process. Oona shares the framework behind her new book, Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women, and helps normalize the heartbreak, chaos, growth, and transformation that so many women experience but rarely talk about out loud.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] – Welcome to Insights from the Couch and why this conversation matters so much at midlife
[2:30] – Introducing Oona Metz and the inspiration behind Unhitched
[5:15] – Why divorce still feels shameful—even though it’s so common
[8:00] – Redefining “success” in marriage and letting go of outdated narratives
[12:30] – The emotional tsunami of divorce and why uncertainty is so hard on the nervous system
[15:30] – The five emotional phases of divorce: heartbreak, roller coaster, mending, letting go, and moving on
[20:40] – Why people get stuck after divorce—and what actually helps them heal
[24:30] – Letting go without pretending it was “okay”
[28:00] – Forgiveness, reframed: releasing yourself, not excusing harm
[33:00] – Why distraction and dating too soon can backfire
[37:45] – The power of divorce support groups and not doing this alone
[41:00] – What Oona hopes every woman knows about healing after divorce
[43:00] – How to find Oona, her book, and free divorce resources

Links and Resources:

Oona Metz’s website and free divorce resources: https://www.oonametz.com

Book: Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women by Oona Metz: https://www.amazon.com/Unhitched-Essential-Divorce-Guide-Women/dp/1668075385

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Sta

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

As we wrap up the year, we’re inviting you into a different kind of year-end ritual—one that’s less about resolutions and more about reflection. In this episode, we’re doing a midlife audit: looking honestly at what we’re ready to shed and what we want to intentionally carry forward into 2026. From other people’s opinions to outdated expectations, we’re talking about the emotional baggage that quietly drains our energy—and how freeing it can be to finally let it go.

We also dig into what we’re keeping: connection, meaning, nervous system regulation, health, authenticity, and the freedom to live outside the status quo. This is a grounded, honest conversation about midlife as a season of shedding skins, reclaiming agency, and choosing a life that actually feels good to live. If you’re craving clarity, permission, and a more intentional way to step into the new year, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights:

[0:46] – Kicking off a year-end audit instead of traditional resolutions
[1:18] – The inspiration behind “not caring anymore” at midlife
[3:03] – Letting go as a lifelong practice and why shedding gets easier with age
[4:40] – Releasing other people’s opinions about our bodies, habits, and choices
[7:44] – Being done with explaining ourselves—bedtimes included
[9:28] – Downsizing, simplifying, and redefining what “home” needs to be now
[13:09] – Midlife as a season of shedding and making space for what’s next
[14:45] – Letting go of one-sided or draining friendships
[16:43] – Prioritizing nervous system regulation and protecting our peace
[17:42] – Giving up pretending we’re fine when we’re not
[20:00] – Choosing depth, authenticity, and real conversations over small talk
[22:06] – What we’re keeping: health, strength, movement, and time outdoors
[24:56] – Filtering life through meaning, purpose, and connection
[25:51] – Saying yes to connection and whole-body yeses
[28:00] – Comfort over performance: clothes, shoes, and realistic expectations
[30:08] – Speaking our truth, changing our minds, and honoring ourselves
[31:02] – Letting go of the status quo and choosing a life that fits
[34:44] – Remembering that life is happening now, not later

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Tracy McCarthy, a brilliant functional medicine physician and psychiatrist, to talk about what it really takes to heal—especially in midlife. We explored how functional medicine goes beyond symptom management and instead focuses on the root causes of chronic conditions like anxiety, fatigue, brain fog, and digestive issues. Tracy's perspective on how nutrition, inflammation, gut health, and lifestyle play into our mental and physical well-being is deeply empowering.

As someone who works with women navigating health and identity shifts in midlife, I found this conversation to be a powerful reminder that healing is possible—and it doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Dr. McCarthy shares how small, consistent changes can lead to massive improvements and how partnering with your body (not fighting it) is the key to long-term health. If you're curious about functional medicine, overwhelmed by your symptoms, or simply want to feel better in your body—this episode is for you.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Kicking off with Dr. Tracy McCarthy and the power of functional medicine.
[1:25] - Tracy shares her journey from psychiatry to root-cause healing.
[6:13] - The common symptoms Tracy sees in midlife women.
[8:04] - What the functional medicine intake and testing process looks like.
[12:06] - The importance of patient participation in healing.
[13:20] - Understanding the role of inflammation in chronic illness.
[16:56] - A powerful case study that brought it all together.
[21:27] - Gut health: the surprising link to mood and brain function.
[25:12] - The mystery behind why autoimmune issues hit women harder.
[34:14] - Prevention and aging: how much power we do have.
[38:22] - What’s really driving the health crisis in America.
[41:30] - Supplements that midlife women should consider adding.
[47:03] - Dr. McCarthy’s course and how to start your own healing journey.
[48:06] - My personal takeaway: healing starts with the first step.

Resources:

• Dr. Tracy McCarthy’s Website: www.drtracymccarthy.com
• Free Guide: Top 10 Overlooked Causes of Brain Fog, Depression & Anxiety – https://www.drtracymccarthy.com/top10
• Dr. McCarthy on Instagram: @drtracymccarthy
• Functional Medicine Resources: Institute for Functional Medicine
• Dr. McCarthy’s Online Program: The Natural Mood Sol

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this deeply honest episode, we sit down with Nora Neiterman, creative director, brand strategist, and founder of Unsweetened New York, to talk about what happens when success comes at the cost of yourself. Nora shares how building a powerful, authentic brand while juggling motherhood, caregiving, and perfectionism eventually pushed her into full-blown burnout, and why ignoring the warning signs is so common for women in midlife.

Together, we explore the hidden toll of living in constant overdrive and why healing doesn’t start by doing more, but by slowing down. Nora opens up about perimenopause, grief, nervous system work, psychedelic therapy, and the surprising ways her creativity returned once she finally listened to her body. If you’re feeling exhausted, disconnected, or quietly wondering how long you can keep going like this, this conversation will land.

Episode Highlights:

[2:01] – From fashion school to building Unsweetened New York
[4:00] – The moment that sparked the brand and why authenticity resonated so deeply
[7:35] – Why women connected so powerfully to unapologetic messaging
[9:31] – Advice for women with an idea who feel “too busy” or “too late”
[12:28] – Why midlife is actually the prime time to pivot and build something new
[14:24] – When passion turns into pressure and the freight train won’t slow down
[17:56] – Early warning signs of burnout that are easy to ignore
[19:52] – Sleep deprivation, stimulants, and living in constant overdrive
[22:08] – Perfectionism, resentment, and struggling to ask for help
[25:46] – Perimenopause, grief, and the slow approach of the wall
[31:21] – Starting over with micro-steps instead of more “stacking”
[33:15] – Psychedelic therapy, intention setting, and unexpected healing
[35:52] – Letting go of alcohol, stimulants, and old coping mechanisms
[38:56] – Reconnecting with creativity by learning how to feel again
[39:58] – Final reflections on authenticity, healing, and choosing yourself

Links & Resources:

Unsweetened New York Website: www.unsweetenednewyork.com

Unsweetened NY on Instagram: @unsweetenednewyork
Nora on Instagram: @noraneiterman

If today’s conversation resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more women and continue having these honest, meaningful conversations.

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

The holidays are here, and if you’re already feeling that mix of excitement, pressure, and low-key dread, you’re in good company. In this episode, we dig into why holiday burnout hits women so disproportionately hard, how old expectations keep sneaking in, and what we can actually do to reclaim joy, presence, and a sense of sanity this season. From perfectionism and invisible labor to new traditions and deliciously low-effort holiday moments, we’re getting honest about what has to shift.

Together, we explore the inner work, the practical strategies, and the gentle permission slips that help us show up for the holidays in a way that feels good—without losing ourselves or burning out in the process. If you've ever felt torn between wanting magic and wanting a nap, this is your episode.

Episode Highlights:

[0:03] – Kicking off the convo: why holiday burnout hits women hardest
[1:54] – Laura reflects on past years of over-functioning through the holidays
[3:08] – The pressure of “perfect” holidays and the invisible mental load
[4:52] – The struggle of asking for help and shedding generational conditioning
[6:11] – Family-of-origin expectations and the identity tied to holiday perfection
[9:03] – The emotional payoff vs. resentment check-in
[10:08] – Letting go of perfect, simplifying, and knowing your “why”
[12:22] – Delegation, releasing control, and tolerating the discomfort
[14:11] – When your aesthetics get in the way of shared experiences
[15:40] – Creating new rituals and letting go of traditions that no longer fit
[18:18] – Low-effort connection and shared experiences that truly matter
[20:03] – Embracing flexibility and shifting holiday dates without guilt
[21:44] – Managing blended family holidays and redefining “the day”
[22:22] – Avoiding consumer overwhelm and choosing experiences over stuff
[23:52] – Gift ideas that foster connection (and zero clutter)
[25:18] – Silent Book Clubs, parallel play, and refreshing social rituals
[26:55] – Reclaiming meaningful ritual with creativity and openness
[27:55] – The power of daily gratitude and shifting the emotional tone
[28:15] – Preparing for others’ disappointment when you take things down a notch
[28:40] – Emotional maturity, boundaries, and choosing what truly matters
[30:01] – Final reminders for a holiday season rooted in joy, not pressure

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing va

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this heartfelt and revealing episode, we dive deep into the patterns, red flags, and emotional toll of loving someone who just can’t meet you emotionally. We’re joined by our brilliant friend Dr. Marni Feuerman—psychotherapist, author of Ghosted and Breadcrumbed, and relationship expert regularly featured in outlets like Psychology Today and SELF. Together, we unpack the signs of emotional unavailability, why so many women get stuck in these painful dynamics, and how to reclaim your power and self-worth in love.

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a loop of confusing relationships, holding out hope for someone to change, or caught in the charm of a man who’s all spark and no follow-through, this episode is for you. We explore everything from love bombing and ghosting to deeper therapeutic patterns rooted in childhood attachment. Whether you’re dating, healing from heartbreak, or helping a friend, this conversation offers insight, validation, and practical advice to help you break free and choose healthier love.

Episode Highlights:

[0:02] - Welcoming Dr. Marni and introducing her book Ghosted and Breadcrumbed
[2:45] - What defines emotional unavailability and its many forms
[5:00] - Dating dynamics: the seductive yet misleading early connection
[6:27] - Ghosting explained—why it happens and how it impacts the nervous system
[11:37] - Breadcrumbing: what it is and how it keeps you stuck
[14:37] - What healthy dating should look like (hint: it’s consistent)
[18:23] - When emotional inconsistency feels like love (but isn’t)
[22:44] - Why some men are emotionally unavailable: socialization, trauma, and patterns
[27:17] - The dark triad: narcissism, charm, and emotional manipulation
[31:54] - Affairs with married men: why they’re more common than you think and rarely end well
[38:00] - Hard truths about “being the one he’ll finally choose”
[42:37] - How therapy and self-awareness help you break the cycle
[45:25] - The danger of “projects” and choosing from compassion instead of compatibility
[48:53] - Attachment wounds, revising your definition of love, and healing forward
[49:43] - Final encouragement from Dr. Marni and where to find her work

Links & Resources

• Dr. Marni Feuerman’s Book: Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart About Healthy Relationships
• Website & Free Checklist: www.drmarnionl

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this Thanksgiving episode, we’re settling in together—just like we would the night before a big holiday—to talk about the messy, heartfelt, complicated world of family dynamics. Even though both of us are having quieter Thanksgivings this year, we’re deep in our own real-life family seasons, and this conversation comes straight from the thick of it. We explore why the holidays stir up so much, why cut-offs have become so common, and how we can show up for ourselves without losing connection to the people we care about.

We also dive into emotional tolerance, boundaries that actually work in real life, and the surprising ways expectations shape our holiday experience. If you’ve ever found yourself caretaking, peace-keeping, bracing for a “difficult someone,” or wondering how to handle the big personalities at the table—this episode will meet you right where you are.

Episode Highlights:

[0:03] – Opening the Thanksgiving conversation and why this episode feels especially timely
[1:16] – How our own holiday plans are shaping the way we’re thinking about family this year
[2:49] – The pressure to perform during the holidays and why “doing less” may feel better
[3:31] – Colette’s recent family gatherings and the emotional residue they stirred up
[4:17] – Real stories from reunions and why so many adults are dealing with family cut-offs
[5:34] – How cut-offs impact entire family systems and why they rarely bring relief
[7:21] – Understanding emotional bandwidth and the “dial” approach to relationships
[9:46] – Avoidance, repair, and why making the first move feels so vulnerable
[11:46] – When someone can’t meet you emotionally—and how to interpret that
[14:51] – The painful power dynamics created by the least emotionally developed family member
[16:29] – Caring for everyone but yourself: preparing meals, hosting, and old relational wounds
[17:22] – The essential role of expectations and how they can make or break a holiday
[18:46] – Triangulation, family cliques, and protecting your emotional space
[20:00] – Setting boundaries without being pulled into old patterns
[21:58] – Self-care strategies when staying with—or hosting—challenging family members
[23:20] – The nuance of “don’t abandon yourself” and holding two truths at once
[25:56] – Choosing what’s worth addressing—and what you can let go for your own peace
[28:09] – Why cut-offs are increasing and the need for a deeper cultural conversation
[29:45] – Setting limits, protecting yourself, and managing difficult personalities
[30:55] – Releasing holiday perfectionism and lettin

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.