Ep.81: The Essential Guide to Divorce at Midlife with Oona Metz

In this episode of Insights from the Couch, we sit down with licensed therapist, writer, and divorce support group leader Oona Metz to have one of the most honest, grounding, and hope-filled conversations we’ve ever had about divorce—especially at midlife. We talk about why divorce still carries so much stigma, why so many women feel isolated and ashamed, and what actually helps people heal instead of staying stuck.

Together, we explore the emotional reality of divorce, why it can feel like a total identity loss, and how healing doesn’t come from rushing forward—but from understanding the process. Oona shares the framework behind her new book, Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women, and helps normalize the heartbreak, chaos, growth, and transformation that so many women experience but rarely talk about out loud.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] – Welcome to Insights from the Couch and why this conversation matters so much at midlife
[2:30] – Introducing Oona Metz and the inspiration behind Unhitched
[5:15] – Why divorce still feels shameful—even though it’s so common
[8:00] – Redefining “success” in marriage and letting go of outdated narratives
[12:30] – The emotional tsunami of divorce and why uncertainty is so hard on the nervous system
[15:30] – The five emotional phases of divorce: heartbreak, roller coaster, mending, letting go, and moving on
[20:40] – Why people get stuck after divorce—and what actually helps them heal
[24:30] – Letting go without pretending it was “okay”
[28:00] – Forgiveness, reframed: releasing yourself, not excusing harm
[33:00] – Why distraction and dating too soon can backfire
[37:45] – The power of divorce support groups and not doing this alone
[41:00] – What Oona hopes every woman knows about healing after divorce
[43:00] – How to find Oona, her book, and free divorce resources

Links and Resources:

Oona Metz’s website and free divorce resources: https://www.oonametz.com

Book: Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women by Oona Metz: https://www.amazon.com/Unhitched-Essential-Divorce-Guide-Women/dp/1668075385

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Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

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Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.