Episodios

  • 026: Good Parent Messages Because Apparently That's a Thing?

    026: Good Parent Messages Because Apparently That's a Thing?
    Jan 6 2026
    In this episode, we introduce the idea of Good Parent Messages, the kinds of emotionally regulating, grounding messages children are meant to receive as they grow. Not grand praise or vague affection, but specific, steady signals of safety, welcome, and attunement. We talk about how children of narcissistic parents often grow up without these emotional nutrients, and how the absence doesn't just hurt in the moment. It quietly reshapes what love feels like in the body. When the nervous system never learns what healthy care actually feels like, even genuine love later on can register as confusing, suspicious, or overwhelming. We also explore what happens developmentally when a child starts to separate, usually around elementary school, and suddenly becomes a "threat" instead of an extension. That's often when warmth gets pulled, approval becomes conditional, and love turns performative or transactional. From there, we unpack fragmentation, that disorienting experience of feeling scattered, frozen, or not fully present in everyday situations because old emotional wounds are being activated. Elizabeth shares a deeply personal moment of insight around receiving love without obligation, and we connect that realization to why so many terrible children struggle to let care land even when it's safe. As usual, we balance the heavy with stories that are equal parts horrifying and darkly funny, including a baby shower that turned into a one-woman show for narcissistic validation, and a genuinely dangerous health situation caused by parents refusing to accommodate sensory needs. We close with the tools we're practicing right now, including a deceptively simple somatic one that turns out to be anything but easy, slowing the physical pace of your life so your system can actually register safety. If you've ever wondered why healing feels nonlinear, why certain words don't land, or why love can feel like pressure instead of comfort, this episode is for you. Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Want to get your very own How to Be a Terrible Daughter stickers (along with such more cool merch that we talked about)? Click HERE! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: Introducing the concept of Good Parent Messages, a somatic therapy tool designed to provide the emotional "nutrients" that children of narcissists often miss [4:31] The profound difference between being told you are "special" and the message "You are special to me" [6:42] How emotional "scar tissue" forms when a child doesn't receive specific messages of love, often making it difficult to accept that same love as an adult [14:40] The way that narcissistic parents often withdraw healthy messages the moment a child becomes a "threat" or develops an independent identity in elementary school [22:13] A look at the important (and very relevant) concept of fragmentation, or the experience of feeling broken or "not present" because past pain is being triggered by current, everyday situations [27:33] Elizabeth's vulnerable "aha moment" regarding the message "I welcome and cherish your love" [32:24] "A Crazy Mom Off" story about a baby shower that became a literal performance for a narcissist's own validation, and a scary health situation caused by Megan's parents' refusal to accommodate her sensory sensitivities [44:17] The powerful tools we used this week including a somatic one for recovery: slowing down the physical pace of your life [65:10] Links & Resources:  Good Parent Messages Integrative Body Psychotherapy The Secret to Loving Yourself book My Love is for Always book for kids Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own How to Be a Terrible Daughter Stickers! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok
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    1 h y 11 m
  • 025: Special Encore: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide

    025: Special Encore: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide
    Dec 23 2025
    This episode is a re-release of our Holiday Survival Guide from last year! We wanted to bring it back for a couple of reasons. First, we have a lot of new listeners (welcome!) and we want to make sure that as we enter this chaotic holiday season, you have the tools you need to make it a little more tolerable. Also, we're practicing what we preach! We could have listened to our inner critic and pushed ourselves to release a brand-new episode, but we're choosing to give ourselves a break. We want to be real people and have real lives…and that includes the podcast. We don't have to abandon ourselves to be in community or do good work. So, here you go! It's our Holiday Survival Guide episode, "Silent Night, Silent Treatment," and we hope it is helpful for you. Enjoy and Happy Holidays! Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: A litmus test you can use to recognize the difference between abusive family practices or those that are just unpleasant [7:48] What to do before your holiday visit, including specific things to put in place and actual wording for anticipating and handling situations that may arise [12:45] Personal boundaries we recommend you consider and the ultimate purpose of taking these pre-emptive measures [20:27] Simple things you can do to nurture yourself, including the clothing you wear during the visit [25:45] What to do while you're there with your family that can make it easier for everyone and to avoid potential issues [28:58] An important reminder that you are indeed allowed to leave and that they probably will still talk about you, regardless of what you do [39:20] After-care strategies that will allow you to rest, relax and recharge after the holidays conclude for another year [45:15] Our first "Mini Crazy Mom Offs" of the new season with a flashback to 1980's and Megan's very first dance [49:30] The tools we're using: How Elizabeth is improving the ecosystem of their neighborhood and Megan's recent adventures in the kitchen [58:12] Links & Resources: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2 Episode 11, featuring John Ritter Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own Too Tired to People Scent-Free Soy Candle! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 023: The Fine Art of the Fauxpology
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    1 h y 4 m
  • 024: I Know What You Did in Your Last Relationship

    024: I Know What You Did in Your Last Relationship
    Dec 9 2025
    This week we are wading into the murky, sparkling, and occasionally shark infested waters of romantic relationships. You know, the ones everyone insists are supposed to feel like a cozy partnership except yours somehow keeps echoing the greatest hits of your childhood. In this episode we talk about why your adult dating patterns are not accidental, they are often emotional reruns of the relationship you had with your parents. And yes, we apologize in advance. We'll get into the relationship red flags, tell-tale signs that you are in a dynamic that is less partnership and more "emotional escape room." We also name the quieter red flags, the ones that do not scream but slowly pull you back into old patterns before you even realize you have crossed the line. We look at how real healing often means rejecting the traditional relationship roles we were handed, the ones that ask you to perform smallness, swallow needs, and call it love. We talk about the difference between a partner who gets curious and a partner who gets defensive, and why that single distinction can tell you almost everything you need to know about the health of the relationship. And because no episode would be complete without a little maternal chaos bingo, we share more of our Crazy Mom-Offs. Including why keeping your narcissistic parent away from your partner is not paranoia, it is strategy. It's boundary setting as a survival sport. We round things out with the tools that helped us through a very intense week, including one simple technique that interrupted the anxiety loop before it could spiral into an Olympics level mental gymnastics routine. If you have ever wondered why relationships feel like the final exam for a class you never attended, this one is for you. Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: ● Some of the ways in which the romantic patterns you repeat as an adult are echoes of the childhood relationship you had with your parents [2:51 ● How healing from trauma often requires rejecting traditional, patriarchal relationship roles that are inherently rooted in narcissistic power dynamics [7:0 ● The "litmus test" for a good partner and the specific questions you can ask yourself to help gain clarity around this [11:57] ● What them displaying curiosity over defensiveness will tell you about whether the relationship is a healthy one for you [13:26] ● Warning signs and red flag to watch for that will reveal you are in an unhealthy relationship dynamic [22:34] ● Our thoughts on romantic love being used as a replacement for women's dreams [37:47] ● More of our "Crazy Mom-Offs", including why keeping your narcissistic parent away from your partner and your relationship is a critical strategy for protection and survival [40:39] ● The tools we each used during this challenging week and one in particular that was effective in stopping the "anxiety loop" from repeating [28:16] Links & Resources:  Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own Too Tired to People Scent-Free Soy Candle! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 023: The Fine Art of the Fauxpology
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    55 m
  • 023: The Fine Art of the Fauxpology

    023: The Fine Art of the Fauxpology
    Nov 25 2025
    In this episode, we wade into the wild, destabilizing landscape of apology and repair, where narcissistic "I'm sorrys" are really emotional trapdoors painted to look like compassion, and healthy accountability actually feels like oxygen. Megan and Elizabeth pull apart the difference between a conversation that brings clarity and one that leaves you wondering if you hallucinated the entire conflict. Along the way, they unpack the subtle ways a narcissistic parent can flip the script, distort the narrative, or imply that your hurt is evidence of your own instability, rather than a completely normal reaction to emotional impact. We also explore what genuine repair looks like in a secure relationship, the kind built on curiosity instead of defensiveness and connection instead of theatrics. There is talk of intent and impact, of what your body knows before your brain catches up, and of how childhood emotional unsafety imprints itself as a physiological threat. And then, because life with a narcissistic parent never stops serving chaos, two new Crazy Mom-Off entries arrive (including one listener submitted story!) to remind you that even the most jaw-droppingly unhinged stories can still be met with humor, solidarity, and the kind of deadpan side-eye reserved for generational chaos. To close things out, we offer a few grounding tools for anyone navigating the emotional ricochet of old patterns. Think intentional space for processing and one surprisingly effective strategy for letting go of the anger that hits you after the fact. If you've ever walked away from a "repair" feeling more confused than when you started, this one is your homecoming. Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: Real-life examples of what narcissistic apology and repair looks like, contrasted with healthy, securely attached relationship dynamics [2:19] Why phrases like "I'm sorry you feel that way" or overly dramatic responses are not genuine apologies but rather defensive tactics [5:01] Watch out! How narcissistic parents use gaslighting and projection to convince you that expressing hurt is a sign of your own mental illness or distorted thinking [8:22] Understanding that emotionally unsafe situations for a child are neurologically perceived as the same as physically life-threatening danger [20:12] How healthy repair involves curiosity, active listening, and the willingness to prioritize the relationship over proving one's own point of view [24:25] The key difference between intent and impact in a conversation and why this is so important to be aware of [28:03] What the final feeling after a healthy repair will, and won't, be [32:50] Two more Crazy Mom-Offs that will knock your socks off, including a "fishy" story and something that will have you looking at birthday cake in a completely different way [36:38] Our helpful tools for the week: we cover the need to carve out intentional time for therapy and provide a helpful strategy for releasing anger after the triggering situation has occurred [55:55] Links & Resources:  Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own Too Tired to People Scent-Free Soy Candle! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 022: No Contact II: The Quiet Place
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    1 h y 1 m
  • 022: No Contact II: The Quiet Place

    022: No Contact II: The Quiet Place
    Nov 11 2025
    So you finally did it. You went no contact. You broke out of the emotional prison your narcissist built, and now you are standing in the sunlight, blinking like a hostage released from a basement full of family heirlooms and gaslighting. In this episode, we talk about what happens next. The emotional hangover, the logistical chaos, the sudden silence that feels both terrifying and euphoric. We get honest about the reality of going no contact, how no one does it lightly, and how keeping that boundary takes every ounce of strength you have. Elizabeth shares what surprised them most after cutting contact, including how much energy it took just to hold the line when the narcissist tried to creep back in through cracks in the wall. We also talk about the importance of having a neutral, pre-set answer ready for those Flying Monkeys who come sniffing around with "concern" and subtle guilt trips. Then we explore how trauma can turn everyday life into a minefield, why birthdays, holidays, and even old family photos can suddenly feel radioactive, and how it is okay to opt out of the traditions that hurt more than they heal. We also dig into the process of rebuilding your identity after no contact. When you have spent a lifetime molding yourself to survive someone else's moods, figuring out what you actually like can feel both thrilling and confusing. But it is the good kind of confusion, the kind that comes with freedom. Elizabeth brings this week's Crazy Mom-Off featuring whispering hauntings from the narcissist beyond, plus a real-time tool for grounding when your nervous system starts hosting a family reunion you never agreed to. Megan shares a confusing story she is still unpacking and a trick she has been using to quiet her inner critic, especially the one that tries to ruin reading time. We close with the reminder that yes, breaking family barriers can feel like being cut by glass, but it is still better than being slowly poisoned for years. Because no contact is not the end of your story, it is the part where you finally start living your own. Thank you for joining us here for a brand-new season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: ● What you can do to start managing the emotional and logistical aftermath of going no contact with the narcissist and finally escape from the prison they've created for you [3:19] ● Elizabeth's inner experience after going no contact and what surprised them the most after doing it [9:15] ● The importance of having a neutral, pre-set answer to protect yourself from gaslighting and guilt when dealing with those pesky "flying monkeys" [14:29] ● What really happens when trauma weaponizes normal life and why holidays, birthdays and even childhood memories can become terrifying triggers [23:11] ● How to approach rebuilding from scratch after no contact by intentionally creating space and time to discover your true self and preferences [25:05] ● The reason why breaking family barriers can feel like "being cut by glass" [spoiler alert: it's much better than being poisoned for years] [42:30] ● Elizabeth's Crazy Mom Off story featuring haunting whispers from a narcissist, and a demonstration of a real-time tool that helps them cope and thrive [44:44] ● A confusing story Megan is still processing and a tool she's been using to overcome her inner critic while reading books [51:38] Links & Resources:  Get Merch – Etsy Shop Show is NOW OPEN! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 007: 3,2,1… No Contact! Speak No Evil (2024 Remake) and Speak No Evil (Original) Kamala Harris's Interview (on Breaking Glass Ceilings) Martha Wells (Author)
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    1 h y 11 m
  • 021: Season 3: Now With 30% More Self-Awareness and 0% Parental Approval

    021: Season 3: Now With 30% More Self-Awareness and 0% Parental Approval
    Oct 28 2025
    Welcome back! It's time to hate your parents with us again! This week, we're talking about how to take care of yourself while listening to hard things, like this podcast. Because when your childhood featured emotional dodgeball as a family sport, hearing about narcissistic dynamics can light up all the old circuitry. We share the ways we each stay grounded while recording and listening, so you don't accidentally astral-project halfway through an episode. Think of it as nervous system hygiene for Terrible Daughters: practical, slightly feral ways to get back into your body when the trauma stories start hitting a little too close to home. We also revisit Flying Monkeys, those eager little minions who help narcissists do their dirty work while pretending to be Switzerland.Then we look at what real repair and reconciliation look like in healthy relationships, versus the kind of "apologies" that come gift-wrapped in gaslighting and plausible deniability. We're also launching our new Etsy shop, where you can grab official Terrible Daughter merch, support the show, and spot fellow survivors in the wild like some kind of emotionally literate bat signal. And because the universe loves symmetry, we close with our first Crazy Mom-Off of the season. It features a literal scarlet letter, a masterclass in chaos, and just enough gallows humor to keep us from screaming into the void. We wrap up with tools for finding a shred of peace in the wreckage, because listening to hard things is an act of courage, and a little dark humor helps the medicine go down. Thank you for joining us here for a brand-new season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: ● How to practice self-care and establish a safe container for listening to triggering media [6:14] ● Tips we want to give you for consuming this podcast and our content, and specific things we each do to get back into our bodies when feeling triggered or dissociated [8:45 ● A reminder on what a Flying Monkey is, where the term comes from how narcissists use them to carry out their "dirty work" while maintaining plausible deniability [16:46] ● What true repair and reconciliation looks like in a healthy relationship, and how this contrasts with a narcissist's apology that never leads to validation or change [24:26] ● Our thoughts on actively grieving the person you would have been had you not endured childhood abuse [25:42 ● An exciting update on our brand-new Etsy store and how you can get branded merchandise and carry the badge of "being the villain" proudly [31:31] ● Our first "Crazy Mom-Off" of the new season: when Elizabeth's mother branded someone with the "Scarlett Letter" and how Megan's used constant change to destabilize her life growing up [35:16] A rundown of tools we've discovered to get through our week with more peace and grace [50:09] Links & Resources:  Get Merch – Etsy Shop Show is NOW OPEN! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok Season 3 Trailer (in case you missed it)! 006: Grief: It's Not Just for the Dead Anymore! 007: 3,2,1… No Contact! 011: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide 018: Narcissist Escape Room—Just Kidding, You're Stuck Wayward (Netflix) The Sopranos Jojo Rabbit (2019) Ted Lasso Flying Monkeys Attack Scene, Wizard of Oz (YouTube) The Scarlett Letter (Nathanial Hawthorne book) Westland School
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    56 m
  • Season 3 Trailer

    Season 3 Trailer
    Aug 20 2025

    Guess who's back from the grave? Not our narcissistic mothers — they're still gloriously, blessedly dead, and we're thriving in their absence.

    It's us! Megan and Elizabeth, your favorite terrible daughters. Life rudely got in the way of recording, but we've clawed our way out of the chaos to drop this little trailer and let you know that season three is actually happening.

    Coming soon: episodes about what it looks like to finally be treated as a person and not an object, how to clap back at your inner critic and their flying monkey entourage, what "repair" actually looks like (spoiler: nothing like the narc's bargain-bin version), and the oddly complicated grief that shows up when your narcissistic parent dies. We'll also be diving into the "good parent" messages we never got, and grieving the alternate selves we could have been. Basically, it's a lot like group therapy — except in between the healing, we also make time to roast yer mom.

    Buckle up, terrible daughters, terrible sons, and terrible offspring of all genders: season three is coming.
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    6 m
  • 020: Me: Maybe it wasn't abuse? Also Me: Every complex trauma symptom

    020: Me: Maybe it wasn't abuse? Also Me: Every complex trauma symptom
    Apr 1 2025
    This week, we're tackling one of the most unsettling and deeply confusing questions many of us face: Was it abuse? And let's be honest—if that question keeps showing up like 3 raccoons in a trench coat whispering cryptic messages outside your window at 2 a.m., you might want to investigate. In this episode, we dig into why psychological and emotional abuse are so much harder to recognize than physical or sexual abuse—and why so many of us spend years trying to convince ourselves it wasn't "that bad." Narcissistic family systems are masters at looking shiny on the outside while quietly dismantling your sense of reality. Honestly, it's cult behavior—but with better potlucks and passive-aggressive throw pillows. We explore how the most abusive part is often the pattern, not the individual incidents. That chronic, low-grade cruelty, the constant invalidation, the feeling that love only comes when you abandon your own needs? Yeah, that. We share tools to help you recognize these dynamics—including what to notice, how to start documenting patterns, and why fear itself can be a flashing neon sign that something is seriously off. Plus, we answer a surprisingly common question: What if I'm the narcissist? (Short answer: if you're self-aware enough to ask, you're probably not the one we're worried about.) Of course, we still find time for a Mini Crazy Mom Off—this one includes listener nightmares and a brief but unsettling cameo by Hannibal Lecter. We also talk about how movement helped us get through the week—because sometimes a walk around the block is less about getting your steps in and more about preventing a full existential spiral in the canned goods aisle. If you've ever wondered whether your experience "counts," this episode says: yes, it does. And you're not alone in wondering. Thank you for listening to season two of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get the season 3 episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: The tremendous difficulty in recognizing psychological and emotional abuse compared to physical or sexual abuse [1:33] How narcissistic family dynamics compare to being in a cult and the internal conflict caused by the contrast between internal experiences and external perceptions of a "perfect" family [5:43] Practical tools we recommend for recognizing abuse and the importance of documenting experiences and recognizing patterns of abuse [11:11] The significance of emotional cues, particularly fear, as indicators of abuse [14:01] How to know if you are being a victim, or if you are displaying narcissistic behaviors yourself [27:53] Our "Mini Crazy Mom Offs" – how Elizabeth's mother is even giving nightmares to our listeners and a cameo by Hannibal Lector [36:55] How incorporating movement into our daily routines helped both of us through this week [43:12] Links & Resources:  Red Dragon by Thomas Harris Hannibal (TV Series) Monk and Robot Series by Becky Chambers The Good Place & Ted Lasso (TV Shows)
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    52 m