How To Be a Terrible Daughter Podcast Por Elizabeth Malamed and Megan Caper arte de portada

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

De: Elizabeth Malamed and Megan Caper
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Wondering how to be a terrible daughter? Listen as Elizabeth Malamed and Megan Caper, mental health professionals who also happen to be cousins, discuss growing up in toxic families, surviving narcissistic abuse, and moving forward after trauma. The How To Be a Terrible Daughter podcast is a place to find community, put words to your experience, and laugh at the dark stuff. We'll share our stories from our own childhoods, make mental health concepts easy to understand, and interview intriguing guests along the way. Oh, and you can also let Megan and Elizabeth hate your parents for you if you're having mixed feelings. We don't mind, we've got plenty of pent up anger for everyone. If your parents have ever called you terrible, horrible or something even worse, come join us!2024 Desarrollo Personal Higiene y Vida Saludable Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • 026: Good Parent Messages Because Apparently That's a Thing?

    026: Good Parent Messages Because Apparently That's a Thing?
    Jan 6 2026
    In this episode, we introduce the idea of Good Parent Messages, the kinds of emotionally regulating, grounding messages children are meant to receive as they grow. Not grand praise or vague affection, but specific, steady signals of safety, welcome, and attunement. We talk about how children of narcissistic parents often grow up without these emotional nutrients, and how the absence doesn't just hurt in the moment. It quietly reshapes what love feels like in the body. When the nervous system never learns what healthy care actually feels like, even genuine love later on can register as confusing, suspicious, or overwhelming. We also explore what happens developmentally when a child starts to separate, usually around elementary school, and suddenly becomes a "threat" instead of an extension. That's often when warmth gets pulled, approval becomes conditional, and love turns performative or transactional. From there, we unpack fragmentation, that disorienting experience of feeling scattered, frozen, or not fully present in everyday situations because old emotional wounds are being activated. Elizabeth shares a deeply personal moment of insight around receiving love without obligation, and we connect that realization to why so many terrible children struggle to let care land even when it's safe. As usual, we balance the heavy with stories that are equal parts horrifying and darkly funny, including a baby shower that turned into a one-woman show for narcissistic validation, and a genuinely dangerous health situation caused by parents refusing to accommodate sensory needs. We close with the tools we're practicing right now, including a deceptively simple somatic one that turns out to be anything but easy, slowing the physical pace of your life so your system can actually register safety. If you've ever wondered why healing feels nonlinear, why certain words don't land, or why love can feel like pressure instead of comfort, this episode is for you. Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Want to get your very own How to Be a Terrible Daughter stickers (along with such more cool merch that we talked about)? Click HERE! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: Introducing the concept of Good Parent Messages, a somatic therapy tool designed to provide the emotional "nutrients" that children of narcissists often miss [4:31] The profound difference between being told you are "special" and the message "You are special to me" [6:42] How emotional "scar tissue" forms when a child doesn't receive specific messages of love, often making it difficult to accept that same love as an adult [14:40] The way that narcissistic parents often withdraw healthy messages the moment a child becomes a "threat" or develops an independent identity in elementary school [22:13] A look at the important (and very relevant) concept of fragmentation, or the experience of feeling broken or "not present" because past pain is being triggered by current, everyday situations [27:33] Elizabeth's vulnerable "aha moment" regarding the message "I welcome and cherish your love" [32:24] "A Crazy Mom Off" story about a baby shower that became a literal performance for a narcissist's own validation, and a scary health situation caused by Megan's parents' refusal to accommodate her sensory sensitivities [44:17] The powerful tools we used this week including a somatic one for recovery: slowing down the physical pace of your life [65:10] Links & Resources:  Good Parent Messages Integrative Body Psychotherapy The Secret to Loving Yourself book My Love is for Always book for kids Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own How to Be a Terrible Daughter Stickers! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok
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    1 h y 11 m
  • 025: Special Encore: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide

    025: Special Encore: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide
    Dec 23 2025
    This episode is a re-release of our Holiday Survival Guide from last year! We wanted to bring it back for a couple of reasons. First, we have a lot of new listeners (welcome!) and we want to make sure that as we enter this chaotic holiday season, you have the tools you need to make it a little more tolerable. Also, we're practicing what we preach! We could have listened to our inner critic and pushed ourselves to release a brand-new episode, but we're choosing to give ourselves a break. We want to be real people and have real lives…and that includes the podcast. We don't have to abandon ourselves to be in community or do good work. So, here you go! It's our Holiday Survival Guide episode, "Silent Night, Silent Treatment," and we hope it is helpful for you. Enjoy and Happy Holidays! Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: A litmus test you can use to recognize the difference between abusive family practices or those that are just unpleasant [7:48] What to do before your holiday visit, including specific things to put in place and actual wording for anticipating and handling situations that may arise [12:45] Personal boundaries we recommend you consider and the ultimate purpose of taking these pre-emptive measures [20:27] Simple things you can do to nurture yourself, including the clothing you wear during the visit [25:45] What to do while you're there with your family that can make it easier for everyone and to avoid potential issues [28:58] An important reminder that you are indeed allowed to leave and that they probably will still talk about you, regardless of what you do [39:20] After-care strategies that will allow you to rest, relax and recharge after the holidays conclude for another year [45:15] Our first "Mini Crazy Mom Offs" of the new season with a flashback to 1980's and Megan's very first dance [49:30] The tools we're using: How Elizabeth is improving the ecosystem of their neighborhood and Megan's recent adventures in the kitchen [58:12] Links & Resources: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2 Episode 11, featuring John Ritter Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own Too Tired to People Scent-Free Soy Candle! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 023: The Fine Art of the Fauxpology
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    1 h y 4 m
  • 024: I Know What You Did in Your Last Relationship

    024: I Know What You Did in Your Last Relationship
    Dec 9 2025
    This week we are wading into the murky, sparkling, and occasionally shark infested waters of romantic relationships. You know, the ones everyone insists are supposed to feel like a cozy partnership except yours somehow keeps echoing the greatest hits of your childhood. In this episode we talk about why your adult dating patterns are not accidental, they are often emotional reruns of the relationship you had with your parents. And yes, we apologize in advance. We'll get into the relationship red flags, tell-tale signs that you are in a dynamic that is less partnership and more "emotional escape room." We also name the quieter red flags, the ones that do not scream but slowly pull you back into old patterns before you even realize you have crossed the line. We look at how real healing often means rejecting the traditional relationship roles we were handed, the ones that ask you to perform smallness, swallow needs, and call it love. We talk about the difference between a partner who gets curious and a partner who gets defensive, and why that single distinction can tell you almost everything you need to know about the health of the relationship. And because no episode would be complete without a little maternal chaos bingo, we share more of our Crazy Mom-Offs. Including why keeping your narcissistic parent away from your partner is not paranoia, it is strategy. It's boundary setting as a survival sport. We round things out with the tools that helped us through a very intense week, including one simple technique that interrupted the anxiety loop before it could spiral into an Olympics level mental gymnastics routine. If you have ever wondered why relationships feel like the final exam for a class you never attended, this one is for you. Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: ● Some of the ways in which the romantic patterns you repeat as an adult are echoes of the childhood relationship you had with your parents [2:51 ● How healing from trauma often requires rejecting traditional, patriarchal relationship roles that are inherently rooted in narcissistic power dynamics [7:0 ● The "litmus test" for a good partner and the specific questions you can ask yourself to help gain clarity around this [11:57] ● What them displaying curiosity over defensiveness will tell you about whether the relationship is a healthy one for you [13:26] ● Warning signs and red flag to watch for that will reveal you are in an unhealthy relationship dynamic [22:34] ● Our thoughts on romantic love being used as a replacement for women's dreams [37:47] ● More of our "Crazy Mom-Offs", including why keeping your narcissistic parent away from your partner and your relationship is a critical strategy for protection and survival [40:39] ● The tools we each used during this challenging week and one in particular that was effective in stopping the "anxiety loop" from repeating [28:16] Links & Resources:  Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own Too Tired to People Scent-Free Soy Candle! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 023: The Fine Art of the Fauxpology
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    55 m
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