Dissociation, Attachment Trauma & the Brainstem with Nikki Nooteboom

In this episode of Going Inside, Dutch therapist and trainer Nikki Nooteboom joins John to explore how neurobiology is reshaping trauma therapy. From the vestibular system to dissociation and the default mode network, Nikki breaks down the deep physiological roots of trauma — and how to work with them more effectively in clinical practice. If you've ever wondered why some clients can't stay grounded or why insight alone doesn't lead to healing, this conversation is for you.

🔑 3 Key Takeaways

1. Why Knowing Isn’t Healing: Insight alone doesn’t shift trauma — the body must first rediscover safety through bottom-up integration.
2. The Vestibular System’s Role in Trauma: Learn how trauma disrupts orientation and balance at a neurological level — and why that matters more than we think.
3. Beyond Coping: Creating Real Safety in the Brain: Discover how consistent, structured grounding practices can actually rewire a brain organized around survival.

👤 Guest: Nikki Nooteboom

Nikki Nooteboom is a Dutch therapist and trainer who integrates neurobiology with trauma healing methods like IFS, EMDR, and somatic therapies. Her work focuses on making therapy more effective by working with the brain from the bottom up. She also trains other therapists, social workers, and bodyworkers in neuro-informed approaches through the Finding Solid Ground program and the Trauma-Informed Academy.

• Website (Therapy): www.neuroinformedcare.com
• Website (Trainings): www.traumainformedacademy.org
• LinkedIn: Nikki Nooteboom
• Instagram: @traumatherapeut_nikki

Resources & Offerings:

➡️ Free IFS Training for Therapists: From Burnout to Balance: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ 1-Month Grace Period with Jane – Use code JOHN or visit: https://meet.jane.app/john-clarke-ambassador

➡️ 10% Off at Grounding Well – Use code GWJOHNCLARKE or visit: https://www.groundingwell.com/GWJOHNCLARKE

➡️ 10% Off at Dharma Dr. – Use code JOHN or visit: https://dharmadr.com/JOHN

Connect with Me:

https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/
https://www.tiktok.com/@johnclarketherapy
https://www.youtube.com/@johnclarketherapy

Grab Your Seat for the Free IFS Webinar Here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

In this deeply moving episode of Going Inside, John sits down with somatic coach Marina Shriner for a raw and resonant exploration of how trauma hides in the body—and how it silently shapes our relationships, self-worth, and emotional patterns.

From immigration and war to abusive relationships and business breakdowns, Marina shares her personal healing journey and why talk therapy wasn’t enough. She reveals the powerful truth about what happens when we stop trying to think our way out of trauma—and start feeling our way through it.

Key Takeaways

🔑 You can't outthink trauma — Marina shares why healing requires going into the body, not around it.
🔑 The fixer/rescuer part may be protecting your inner child — Learn how over-functioning in relationships is often a trauma response.
🔑 Grief doesn’t go away—it waits — Discover how unprocessed grief and emotional pain can live in the nervous system for years if left unfelt.

👤 Guest: Marina Shriner

Marina Shriner is a renowned somatic coach who has helped thousands of clients move through stuckness, regulate their nervous systems, and reconnect with their inner power. Her work focuses on the deeper emotional patterns that shape our relationships, careers, and sense of self—especially around the fixer/rescuer/helper roles we unconsciously adopt.

🖥️ Website: www.marinayt.com/HeartSpace
🎧 Podcast: marinayt.com/podcast
📸 Instagram: @marina.y.t
📩 Email: love@marinayt.com

Resources & Offerings:

➡️ Free IFS Training for Therapists: From Burnout to Balance: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast
➡️ 1-Month Grace Period with Jane – Use code JOHN or visit: https://meet.jane.app/john-clarke-ambassador
➡️ 10% Off at Grounding Well – Use code GWJOHNCLARKE or visit: https://www.groundingwell.com/GWJOHNCLARKE
➡️ 10% Off at Dharma Dr. – Use code JOHN or visit: https://dharmadr.com/JOHN

Connect with me:

https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/
https://www.tiktok.com/@johnclarketherapy
https://www.youtube.com/@johnclarketherapy

Grab Your Seat for the Free IFS Webinar Here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

In this episode of Going Inside, John Clarke sits down with Jessica Fern—IFS-trained trauma therapist and author of Polysecure—to explore what really happens inside our systems when we open up relationships. They unpack the intersection of attachment, trauma, and non-monogamy, and how IFS brings clarity and healing to the parts that get activated. Whether you're a therapist, curious about ethical non-monogamy, or working on your own attachment wounding, this conversation offers powerful insight, practical frameworks, and plenty of aha moments.

Key Takeaways:

• Why "opening up" a relationship often opens old wounds first—and how IFS can help you meet the infant parts crying out for safety.
• The surprising ways codependency, polyamory, and secure attachment collide—and what people get wrong about each.
• How the "shame triangle" shows up in modern relationships—and why your inner critic may be the loudest part in the room.

👤 Guest: Jessica Fern

Jessica Fern holds a Master’s degree in Conflict Resolution, is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, a trained Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner, and an integrative therapist drawing on 25 years of experience in somatic, narrative, psychotherapeutic, and spiritual healing modalities. She is the internationally recognized author of Polysecure, The Polysecure Workbook, Polywise, and her upcoming book Transforming the Shame Triangle.

Through her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and multi-partner relationships to break free from reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment, and past trauma—empowering them to embody new possibilities in life and love.

Contact + Learn More:
🌐 JessicaFern.com
📧 connect@jessicafern.com
📸 Instagram: @JessicaFern

Resources & Offerings:

➡️ Discover how to stay grounded, attuned, and effective, no matter what your clients (or you) bring into the room: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/self-energy-guide-org
➡️ Free IFS Training for Therapists: From Burnout to Balance: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast
➡️ 1-Month Grace Period with Jane – Use code JOHN or visit: https://meet.jane.app/john-clarke-ambassador
➡️ 10% Off at Grounding Well – Use code GWJOHNCLARKE or visit: https://www.groundingwell.com/GWJOHNCLARKE
➡️ 10% Off at Dharma Dr. – Use code JOHN or visit: https://dharmadr.com/JOHN

Connect with Me:

https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/
https://www.tiktok.com/@johnclarketherapy
https://www.youtube.com/@johnclarketherapy

Grab Your Seat for the Free IFS Webinar Here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

Grief isn’t just about loss — it’s also a doorway into healing. In this deeply resonant conversation, relational therapist Rebecca Wong and host John Clarke explore how grief, when met with presence and curiosity, becomes a powerful force for integration and connection. Together, we dive into what it means to turn toward our discomfort, build trust with our nervous systems, and honor the wisdom already within us.

Whether you’re a therapist, a client, or a human navigating this wild experience of being alive, this episode will help you reflect on your own relationship with pain, healing, and connection.

Key Takeaways

• Grief as your most untapped therapeutic tool. Discover why it’s more than just sadness and how it opens a door to deep relational healing.
• Could your urge to fix block your client’s healing? Explore the subtle shift that changes how your presence impacts clients.
• How clients' reactions are actually wisdom in disguise. Learn how to recognize the intelligence of the nervous system, even in shutdown, collapse, or rage.

👤 Guest: Rebecca Wong

Rebecca Wong is a relational therapist, educator, and the creator of Connectfulness®, a practice rooted in presence, curiosity, and the courage to turn toward what’s hard. She supports individuals, couples, and healing professionals in cultivating nervous system trust, relational integrity, and generational repair. Learn more at connectfulness.com.

📩 Contact: rebecca@connectfulness.com
🔗 Social: @connectfulness

Resources & Offerings:

➡️ Free IFS Training for Therapists: From Burnout to Balance: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast
➡️ 1-Month Grace Period with Jane – Use code JOHN or visit: https://meet.jane.app/john-clarke-ambassador
➡️ 10% Off at Grounding Well – Use code GWJOHNCLARKE or visit: https://www.groundingwell.com/GWJOHNCLARKE
➡️ 10% Off at Dharma Dr. – Use code JOHN or visit: https://dharmadr.com/JOHN

Connect with me:

https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/
https://www.tiktok.com/@johnclarketherapy
https://www.youtube.com/@johnclarketherapy

Grab Your Seat for the Free IFS Webinar Here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

What if parenting challenges—and therapeutic resistance—make perfect sense? In this episode, John Clarke sits down with Danish IFS therapist and parenting model creator Anna Vincentz to explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a powerful lens for working with both clients and their families. Anna shares how her personal journey with neurodivergence, trauma, and parenthood led her to develop New Danish Parenting, a model that centers nervous system regulation, attachment, and deep curiosity.

This conversation is packed with practical insights for therapists navigating complex systems—inside and out.

3 Key Takeaways:

⚪ Why “bad behavior” in children and clients is a survival strategy—not a diagnosis—and how to reframe it in session.

⚪ How Anna’s New Danish Parenting model bridges IFS, attachment, and practical neurodivergent-informed tools for clinicians.

⚪ What to do when your client is “just talking” and not ready to go deeper—without trying to force the model.

Guest: Anna Vincentz

Anna Vincentz is a Certified Level 3 IFS Therapist, Family Therapist, and creator of New Danish Parenting (NDP)—a model designed for parents, therapists, and practitioners seeking deeper understanding of attachment, trauma, and relational healing. Anna specializes in working with neurodivergent and highly sensitive individuals, and brings a compassionate, trauma-informed lens to every session. A mother of two neurodivergent children, Anna integrates her lived experience into both her clinical work and teaching.

Learn more about Anna:

1. Website: https://www.annavincentz.dk/english
2. About: https://annavincentz.dk/about-me
3. Articles: https://medium.com/@annavincentz | https://annavincentz.dk/english-blog
4. Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/parenting-from-the-inside/
5. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ifstherapy_annavincentz/
6. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ifsannavincentz

Resources & Offerings:
Download my Guide to Self-Energy for Practitioners - Get access here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/self-energy-guide-org
Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast
1-Month Grace Period with Jane – Use code JOHN or visit: https://meet.jane.app/john-clarke-ambassador
10% Off at Grounding Well – Use code GWJOHNCLARKE or visit: https://www.groundingwell.com/GWJOHNCLARKE
10% Off at Dharma Dr. – Use code JOHN or visit: https://dharmadr.com/JOHN

Connect with me:
https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/

Grab Your Seat for the Free IFS Webinar Here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free IFS Training for Therapists: From Burnout to Balance: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

In this insightful episode of Going Inside, John Clarke sits down with Dr. Daphne Fatter to explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be integrated for powerful trauma recovery work. Dr. Fatter shares her step-by-step approach to blending these models, offering practical tips for clinicians working with complex trauma. From building client readiness to navigating the nuances of protector parts and exiles, this conversation is packed with concrete strategies, clinical wisdom, and encouragement for therapists ready to deepen their practice.

3 Key Takeaways:

👉 Why IFS and EMDR complement each other so well in treating complex trauma.
👉 How to determine client readiness for EMDR and gain system-wide consent.
👉 Practical ways to use parts mapping, befriending, and stabilization tools before reprocessing.

Guest:
Dr. Daphne Fatter is a licensed psychologist, consultant, author, and international speaker dedicated to providing education on integrative trauma-informed therapies. She is certified in IFS and is an Approved IFS Clinical Consultant. She is also certified in EMDR and is an EMDRIA Approved EMDR Consultant. As a certified ancestral healing practitioner, she also works with intergenerational and historical trauma.

Connect with Dr. Daphne Fatter:
Website: https://www.daphnefatterphd.com

Resources & Offerings:

➡️ Free IFS Training for Therapists: From Burnout to Balance: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast
➡️ 1-Month Grace Period with Jane – Use code JOHN or visit: https://meet.jane.app/john-clarke-ambassador
➡️ 10% Off at Grounding Well – Use code GWJOHNCLARKE or visit: https://www.groundingwell.com/GWJOHNCLARKE
➡️ 10% Off at Dharma Dr. – Use code JOHN or visit: https://dharmadr.com/JOHN

Connect with me:

https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/
https://www.tiktok.com/@johnclarketherapy
https://www.youtube.com/@johnclarketherapy

Grab Your Seat for the Free IFS Webinar Here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

In this soul-stirring conversation, IFS pioneer Bob Falconer returns to explore the intersection of Internal Family Systems (IFS), spirituality, and trauma healing. We discuss how trauma creates separation, the necessity of spiritual connection in deep healing, and how curiosity can be a transformative force. Bob shares insight from his upcoming books and over 50 years of clinical experience, emphasizing the porous nature of the mind and the healing power of respectful engagement with all parts of the self—both personal and transpersonal. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to open your inner world with compassion and wonder.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. A surprising reason why many trauma survivors don’t fully heal—and what might be missing.
2. The two types of curiosity—and why only one leads to transformation.
3. What Bob means when he says “the mind isn’t just multiple... it’s porous.”

👤 Guest: Robert Falconer

Robert Falconer is a dedicated therapist, teacher, and global educator of the IFS model. Author of The Others Within Us, Bob brings over five decades of experience to his work exploring the porous nature of the mind, particularly in the context of trauma and spiritual experiences. His latest books, Opening the Inner World and Spirit Speaks, delve into the intersection of IFS, mysticism, and healing.

Get your copy of Opening the Inner World and Spirit Speaks: https://swedenborg.com/product/opening-the-inner-world/

Resources & Offerings:

➡️Register for a FREE IFS Training "From Burnout to Balance": https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-yt
➡️ Download my FREE IFS Resource Library - Get access here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-resource-library
➡️ Register for a FREE IFS Training "From Burnout to Balance": https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast
➡️ 1-Month Grace Period with Jane – Use code JOHN or visit: https://meet.jane.app/john-clarke-ambassador
➡️ 10% Off at Grounding Well – Use code GWJOHNCLARKE or visit: https://www.groundingwell.com/GWJOHNCLARKE
➡️ 10% Off at Dharma Dr. – Use code JOHN or visit: https://dharmadr.com/JOHN

Connect with me:

https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/
https://www.tiktok.com/@johnclarketherapy
https://www.youtube.com/@johnclarketherapy

Transcript:

Bob Falconer: [00:00:00] And McGilchrist makes this wonderful point, which at first really pissed me off, but usually when there's a radical new idea, it pisses me off at first because it takes me out of my comfort zone. He says, how we pay attention is a moral act, and I think how we pay attention is a choice like that, that determines the nature of the world we live in.

John Clarke: Going Inside is a podcast on a mission to help people heal from trauma and reconnect wit

Grab Your Seat for the Free IFS Webinar Here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

In this powerful episode, psychiatrist and psychedelic therapy researcher Dr. Will Van Derveer joins John to explore the cutting-edge world of MDMA-assisted therapy and how it's changing the game for trauma recovery. They unpack the failures of conventional psychiatry, the neuroscience behind MDMA’s healing power, and why training—and restraint—are everything when it comes to this work. If you’re curious about psychedelic therapy or working with trauma more effectively, this one’s for you.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

1. The MDMA Data That Stunned the Field – Discover why an 83% recovery rate from treatment-resistant PTSD shook the psychiatric world—and how it’s even possible.
2. Healing as Remembering, Not Escaping – Why psychedelic therapy often works by accessing the mind’s natural blueprint for healing—and how “parts work” arises spontaneously.
3. The Danger of Doing Too Much – Learn why well-meaning but untrained therapists can unintentionally cause harm—and what true “holding space” actually looks like.

👤 Guest: Dr. Will Van Derveer

Dr. Will Van Derveer is a psychiatrist, integrative mental health leader, psychedelic therapy researcher, and host of the Higher Practice Podcast. He is the co-founder of the Integrative Psychiatry Institute, which trains clinicians in cutting-edge trauma and psychedelic modalities.
Learn more:psychiatryinstitute.com
Instagram: @will.vanderveer.md
Facebook: @will.vanderveer.md

Resources & Offerings:

➡️ Free IFS Training for Therapists: From Burnout to Balance: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast
➡️ 1-Month Grace Period with Jane – Use code JOHN or visit: https://meet.jane.app/john-clarke-ambassador
➡️ 10% Off at Grounding Well – Use code GWJOHNCLARKE or visit: https://www.groundingwell.com/GWJOHNCLARKE
➡️ 10% Off at Dharma Dr. – Use code JOHN or visit: https://dharmadr.com/JOHN

Connect with me:

https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnclarketherapy/
https://www.tiktok.com/@johnclarketherapy
https://www.youtube.com/@johnclarketherapy

Grab Your Seat for the Free IFS Webinar Here: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast

➡️ Free Training - Learn how to integrate the principles of IFS into your therapy practice: https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-podcast