'Sixty seconds? It takes almost 60 seconds to say your name!' 'Oh, how very droll!'

__ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation. floydsvoice@gmail.com

'I’m off to town, love.' 'Take care — it’s rough downtown nowadays.' 'No need to worry, dear. Big Brother has me — and everyone else — under surveillance. They’re always watching out for us.' 'Oh, yes, I forgot, aren’t they wonderful?' 'hmm.' _ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Reading Henry Archibald Hertzberg Lawson (17th June 1867 – 2nd September 1922) was an Australian writer and bush poet. Henry Lawson is often referred to as Australia’s greatest short story writer. He was also a master of the bush ballad.

Note: A bush ballad is a traditional Australian narrative poem, written in plain language and rhythmic verse, reflecting hardship, humour, and character in rural bush life.

Bound for the Lord-Knows-Where was first published in 1906. The bush ballad (poem) is about the restless spirit wandering into the unknown, chasing work, freedom, or a fresh start — wherever that road may lead. Destination: 'the Lord-knows-where.' Note: The reading was recorded with a faint vinyl effect in the background. Below is the opening verse of the ballad. If you’d like to follow along, or read the full poem, you’ll find it here: PoetryVerse website.

'Bound for the Lord-Knows-Where' 'Where are you going with your horse and bike, And the townsfolk still at rest? Where are you going, with your swag and pack, And the night still in the West? Your clothes are worn, and your cheques are gone, But your eyes are free from care?” “We’re bushmen down for a spree in town, And we’re bound for the Lord-knows-where, Old chap—we’re bound for the Lord-knows-where.”

__ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

'While Cupid sends arrows of love, watch out — cupidity can have a nasty sting!' _ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Terry: By Jove, that was some email, Ken. I’m sure Sue will be moved. Ken: You read my private email? Terry: You accidentally sent it to the entire office staff. Ken: No... I’m ruined! Terry: Oh, dear, never mind, I'm sure things will pick up! (He said with an inner smile.) __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Reading Rudyard Kipling (30th December 1865 –18th January 1936) was one of the most influential English writers of his time. In 1907 he received the Nobel Prize in Literature — the first English-language writer to earn it, and still the youngest person ever to do so.

Kipling’s If—, written in 1895 and published in 1910, is a poem of advice to someone coming of age, offering guidance on character, courage, and the making of an adult. He framed it as a father’s advice to a son entering young adulthood. Note: The reading was recorded with a faint vinyl record effect in the background. __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Pulchritudinous. 'puhl·kruh·choo·duh·nuhs'

‘‘Did you hear Marie has opened a new flower shop?’ ‘No, what’s it called?’ ‘The Pulchritudinous Florist.’ ‘Who, Marie or the flowers?’ ‘Both.’ __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.