You know that you should walk away yet it is so difficult for you to pull the plug on this Relationship. You might’ve even tried to leave in the past but always return to this familiar and uncomfortable place. Why does this happen?

In this podcast, we explore our attachment style and how it keeps us stuck in relationships we know we should get out of. We also discuss tools we can use to make letting go easier.

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Imagine craving the warmth of a campfire. You love the light, the comfort, the shared stories. You want to be close enough to feel its heat. But the moment someone says, "Here, tie this rope around your waist and anchor yourself to this log right next to the flames," you panic.

The very thing that offered comfort suddenly feels like a trap. The fire hasn't changed; the constraint has.

This is the daily reality for many with an avoidant attachment style when they hear the word "commitment." It’s not the shared future, the inside jokes, or the quiet companionship they fear. In fact, they often deeply desire those things. What triggers their alarm system is the label itself. "Commitment" sounds like a contract, a loss of self, a final closing of doors. It translates in their mind to obligation, expectation, and the slow erosion of their most cherished value: autonomy.

On this podcast, we're not going to villainize the avoidant or patronize the partner who wants security. We're going to climb inside this paradox. We’ll explore why the same person who plans a vacation with you six months from now can freeze up when you call them your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." It’s a confusing cha-cha on the intimacy-autonomy seesaw, and understanding that this is cha-cha and not a waltz is the first step to changing the dance entirely.

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Sarah (name changed) has been a relationship with a fearful avoidant for almost a year. All was going well until it got rocky. She now wants to try again but with some boundaries in place.

Sarah and I sat down recently to discuss how it could look going forward for her and her partner.

Sarah agreed to have this session recorded and aired for the benefit of everyone listening.

Remember, as humans, our views and needs differ. Take what you believe would be helpful for your situation and leave what doesn’t.

Love,

Annalisa

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You hit send. You see the “Delivered” tick turn to “Read.” And then... nothing. The silence is louder than any notification. Your mind starts racing: Are they hurt? Are they ignoring me? Did my message come on too strong? Was it the wrong emoji?

Before you spiral into that abyss of overthinking, we want you to hit pause. The reason for that silent phone likely has very little to do with you, and everything to do with their internal wiring- their attachment style.

In this episode of Decoding Attachment Style, we're applying the science of human connection to one of the most common and anxiety-inducing modern dilemmas: the unanswered text to an ex. We're moving beyond playing games and making guesses, and giving you a practical framework to understand the silence.

We’ll break down exactly how the four attachment styles - Anxious, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, and Secure - typically process and respond (or not respond) to communication from a past partner. You’ll learn…

• Why your Dismissive Avoidant ex might see your text as a pressure cooker of expectations and need to flee.
• How your Anxious ex could be overanalyzing every syllable, desperate to reply but terrified of getting it wrong.
• The reasons a Secure ex might respond with kindness and clarity, but not the reconciliation you hope for.
• What it means when a Dearful Avoidant (Disorganized) ex’s response is hot, cold, and completely confusing.

Stop decoding their messages and start decoding their behavior. This episode will give you the clarity you need to stop staring at your screen and start moving forward.

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When you're in a relationship shaped by attachment insecurities, the questions are complex, urgent, and deeply personal.

In this episode of Decoding Attachment, host Annalisa Bahadur tackles your real-world dilemmas with clarity and compassion, offering actionable strategies for some of the toughest dynamics.

We're moving beyond theory and into the trenches to answer your pressing questions, including…

• “An FA leaning anxious – do we treat them as anxious?” We break down why you don’t want to hold yourself to suit them and what to do instead.
• “How to help an avoidant partner be open in the relationship.” Discover the dos and don'ts of creating safety without becoming their therapist.
• “What boundaries should I set when trying again with my partner and about to move in together?” Learn the non-negotiable boundaries to protect your emotional state before sharing a roof.
• “My FA friend is in denial mode and looking for another victim. What to do?” We discuss the difficult art of disentangling from a toxic cycle while protecting your own peace, even when it's someone you care about.

This episode is a no-judgment zone for anyone who has ever felt confused, drained, or desperate for answers in the face of avoidant and anxious behaviors. We provide the framework you need to make empowered choices - for your relationship and, most importantly, for yourself.

Tune in for the straight talk and practical guidance you've been searching for.

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Is it okay for your partner to take space and drop off the face of the earth without responding to your texts or calls? Not if you’re in a serious committed relationship. This podcast explains why and what you should do.

If you’re avoidant attached and want to know how to ask for space without your partner getting upset- listen to this podcast.

Please share this podcast if you found it helpful.

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This episode shares the time line in which the avoidant show interested in the rebound, starts to withdraws and goes back to their ex.

The episode talks about why Avoidant Attached jumps into soon after a break
up, what their intentions are when returning to and what you can do to prevent yourself from becoming rebound.

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This is what we are talking about today-

• Why avoidants rush into rebounds
• The negative consequences of rebound relationships
• Whether avoidants come back to their ex
• What their (often anxious) partners should do
• Healthier alternatives for avoidants
• How secure individuals handle breakups and rebounds

Don’t forget to leave a review so others can know how this episode may help them too. Thanks in advance.

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