What’s the line between loving someone and losing yourself in the process?

This week, we explore the subtle differences between caretaking and compassion.

Khanyilanga wrestles with how to set loving boundaries with a friend struggling with addiction, while Kate faces the fear of hurting others when she speaks her truth.

Together, their stories reveal how easily our empathy can become entanglement, and how to reclaim grounded compassion rooted in honesty, respect, and self-trust.

Listen to learn:

•How to set boundaries without guilt or blame

•Why empathy doesn’t mean self-abandonment

•How to stay calm when others take your limits personally

•How to rebuild safety in your nervous system after relational trauma

If you’ve ever wondered where kindness ends and enabling begins, this episode will bring you home to a more balanced, liberated love.

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, we explore one of the most bewildering dynamics in adult relationships: when we find ourselves deeply attached to someone who simply cannot meet us where we are.

Even when our minds know the relationship isn’t mutual or nourishing, parts of us keep circling back: longing, hoping, checking the “well” for water that isn’t there.

Through a heartfelt exchange with Judith, we trace how these patterns often have their roots in early attachment wounds. We talk about how our younger parts, the child that still wants to be seen, the teenager who still hopes someone will change, can unconsciously run the show, even in our most adult moments. And we explore how to bring loving awareness to those inner parts, to let them grieve, and to gently reorient toward relationships that feel reciprocal, alive, and truly safe.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt confused about why letting go feels so hard, even when you “know better.” It’s about learning the difference between codependence and interdependence, between trying to fix others and truly caring for ourselves, and finding peace in the knowing that healing doesn’t mean we stop needing people; it means we learn how to choose the ones who can meet us there.

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

This conversation invites us to explore one of the deepest lessons in emotional maturity: learning to be in relationship with our feelings without being ruled by them.

Through a heartfelt dialogue about parenting, school anxiety, and our own patterns of overwhelm, we discover that the path to growing up isn’t about avoiding what’s hard, but about developing a loving and steady relationship with the “vehicle” we live in: our body, our emotions, and our lived experience.

We walk through the tender terrain of a parent’s grief and a child’s avoidance, uncovering how easily love can turn into enabling, and how empathy can lose its grounding without boundaries.

Together, we explore what it means to help a child, and ourselves, build strength from discomfort, rather than collapse in its presence. This episode is a compassionate reminder that our feelings are sacred messengers, but they are not the drivers. We are.

Listen to learn:

•How to find the line between empathy and enabling

•What the Zone of Proximal Development means for emotional growth

•How to stay attuned to your child’s unique pace and capacities

•Why discomfort, not avoidance, is the soil for confidence

•How to model agency and resilience for your kids (and yourself)

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

When life has hurt us enough times, our hearts learn to protect themselves.

We grow cautious. Controlled. We tell ourselves we’re being “realistic,” when really, we’re just afraid to be hurt again.

In this week’s episode, I talk with Cody, a woman learning how to reconnect with her husband after years of criticism, conflict, and silence. Together, we explore what it truly takes to soften the walls that once kept them each safe, but now keep love out.

Listen to learn:

•How self-protection turns into emotional isolation

•What it means to shift from “negative peace” (avoiding conflict) to real peace (rooted in connection)

•Why awareness of tension is the first step to healing

•How to speak to your partner from vulnerability instead of defense

•Simple phrases that help reopen trust after years of guarding

If your heart has grown cautious, this conversation will remind you: softness isn’t weakness. It’s the quiet courage to love again.

Read more on the blog.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What if anger didn’t have to be a threat to love, and vulnerability didn’t mean weakness?

This week we begin with a moment many of us recognize: a flash of road rage, a surge of intensity, a body flooded with energy. Beneath moments like these, something deeper is often asking for care and understanding.

Colleen joins me to explore her concern for her husband, whose driving behavior has become frightening amid health stress and unspoken emotional strain. Together, we slow the moment down and look beneath the surface. We explore how many men are socialized to equate strength with control, leaving anger as the only emotion that feels permissible, while fear, grief, and vulnerability go underground.

Rather than treating anger as something to suppress or control, we reimagine it as a powerful messenger pointing toward values, care, and aliveness. This conversation offers a compassionate redefinition of strength: not as emotional armor, but as the inner resilience that allows us to stay connected in moments of intensity.

A thoughtful exploration of anger, vulnerability, and what it takes to build relationships that can hold the full spectrum of our emotional lives.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

We all carry invisible stories about what it means to be a “good person,” a “hard worker,” or someone who has truly earned what they have.

But what happens when we meet someone who doesn’t fit those stories? Someone living on disability income, or needing more support than we think they should?

This week, we explore the quiet judgments and discomfort that can arise when we encounter difference. We look at how domination culture trains us to equate worth with productivity, independence with virtue, and need with failure, and how shame and stigma keep us disconnected from our shared humanity.

This conversation invites a gentler, more honest inquiry into what judgment is protecting, and how we can stay connected without defensiveness, superiority, or pity. As we widen the lens, we also question the systems themselves: What if the problem isn’t the individual who needs help, but the structures that withhold care?

A reflective exploration of judgment, dignity, and interdependence and an invitation to imagine human-centered systems rooted in empathy, cooperation, and the meeting of real human needs.

Want to read more? Understanding Stigma: How Judgment Replaces Empathy in Modern Culture

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What happens in you when someone comes at you with intensity?

Do you freeze, go blank, lose your words, or start doubting yourself?

We explore what it means to stay grounded when another person’s energy feels too hot to handle by talking with Kate, who finds herself going into freeze mode when someone else’s intensity rises and tone sharpens. Together, we explore how to meet our shutdown responses with awareness instead of judgment, seeing them as wisdom, not weakness.

Afterwards, Josie brings up a nuanced distinction: What’s the difference between asking for what we need and demanding someone change? Where’s the line between honest self-expression and control?

We’ll tease apart how to speak truthfully without blame, how to hold boundaries without closing your heart, and how to stay in integrity even when things get intense.

If you’ve ever longed to stay calm, clear, and connected when someone else is coming in hot, this one’s for you.

Want to read more? How to Stay Grounded When Someone's Coming in Hot

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Ever find yourself trapped in a conversation that feels endless, feeling your energy draining as someone keeps talking and talking?

Today we explore how to stay kind, connected, and honest while trying to interrupt.

We unpack the hidden fears that keep us quiet (fear of rejection, fear of being rude) and the old “be a good person” conditioning that often silences our truth.

You’ll learn how to interrupt without guilt, speak from authenticity instead of irritation, and transform draining conversations into moments of genuine connection.

Listen to discover:

•Why “being nice” can block real honesty

•What to say when your attention drifts and you want to re-engage

•How to recognize when someone’s over-talking because they’re trying to process pain

•Simple phrases that bring both people back into connection

Listen in for a gentle, empowering guide if you’ve ever felt stuck between caring for others and caring for yourself.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube