Shut Down the 'What If' Trap: Boosting Athlete Confidence and Focus

Welcome back to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations with your host Valerie Alston! In this episode, we tackle the common pre-game mental trap of 'What if?' thoughts that cause anxiety and hinder performance. Learn how elite athletes manage these thoughts to stay focused and present in the moment. Discover two key strategies: mindfulness for grounding yourself in the present and 'If-Then' planning for productive game prep. Perfect for athletes and parents alike, this episode offers practical tools to build mental toughness and resilience. Join us and turn every car ride into an opportunity for meaningful dialogue and lifelong skills development!

00:00 Introduction: Overcoming the 'What If' Trap

00:17 Welcome to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

00:54 Understanding the 'What If' Thoughts

01:51 The Mind-Body Connection and Anxiety

04:27 Grounding Techniques to Stay Present

07:38 Productive 'What If' Thoughts and Strategy

10:59 Interactive Discussion Questions

12:53 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Discussion questions:

1. When you get nervous, what’s one thought that tends to pop up first?
2. What’s something I can say to myself instead that would help me focus?
3. How can we help each other focus more on what we can control, not what might go wrong?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

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In this episode of 'Confident Calm and Clutch Car Ride Conversations,' host Valerie Alston explores the 'fade out effect' - the phenomenon where mental skills training fades over time without continuous support from parents, coaches, and the community. Drawing insights from an article about the marshmallow test, Valerie discusses the importance of a supportive environment in ensuring the long-term retention of mental skills. With engaging questions for kids and parents, this episode provides actionable strategies for fostering resilience and confidence in young athletes. Tune in for valuable tips on creating a consistent and encouraging atmosphere for mental skills development.

00:00 Introduction to the Fade Out Effect

01:12 The Marshmallow Test Revisited

04:01 The Importance of Environment in Skill Retention

07:15 Practical Advice for Parents and Coaches

09:11 Engaging Questions for Kids and Parents

12:24 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

• When I tried to teach you to stay calm under pressure, what helped you keep practicing that? How can I or others support you more consistently?
• Think of a time you felt mentally strong on the field—what did others around you do that helped you maintain that? How can they keep doing it?
• If the coaches, teachers, and I agreed on one daily habit to reinforce your mental game, what would it be and how could we remind each other?
• What support do you wish you had on tough days—someone to encourage you, remind you, or celebrate small wins?

Article

https://psyche.co/ideas/what-the-marshmallow-test-got-wrong-about-child-psychology

Video

https://youtu.be/4L-n8Z7G0ic?si=u_6C_Dbl7r3FxON0

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

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What happens when a championship-level coach takes over a middle school team of beginners? In this heartwarming and hilarious episode of Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston and her dad, a former coach, explore what it means to meet athletes where they're at. Listen in on laugh-out-loud stories from their middle school softball days, including a hilarious stolen base mishap, and learn how shared sports moments have shaped their father-daughter bond. Whether you're a parent, coach, or both, this episode reminds us why shared experiences matter, how humor builds connection, and why growth in sports isn't just about performance but presence. Don't miss out on the valuable conversation prompts at the end, perfect for sparking meaningful dialogue on your next car ride.

00:00 Introduction: Championship Coach Meets Middle School Team

00:49 Welcome to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

01:22 The Middle School Softball Experience

02:33 Funny Moments and Lessons Learned

04:21 The Importance of Meeting Athletes Where They Are

05:22 Father-Daughter Bond Through Sports

09:59 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Athletes

14:11 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. Have you ever been part of a team or group where you felt a little behind or unsure Parents: Can you share a time you felt that way too? How did you get more comfortable or confident?
2. What helps you feel supported when you're learning something new—especially when it's frustrating?How can we do a better job of encouraging each other during those “beginner” moments?
3. What’s one activity or experience we’ve shared that helped us feel more connected—like we were really on the same team? Follow-up: Is there something new we could try together to build more of those moments?
4. Why is it important for coaches (and parents) to meet kids where they’re at instead of expecting them to be perfect right away? Follow-up: What’s one area you feel like you're still growing—and what kind of support helps you most in that area?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Life Lessons from Coaching: Parenting, Pressure & Growth

In this episode of Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston chats with her dad and former coach about the invaluable lessons learned from coaching over 100 games a year. They discuss how these experiences translate into parenting techniques, the ineffectiveness of yelling, and the importance of values over volume in shaping a team. The episode offers honest stories, practical advice, and a three-step mindset every coach or parent should adopt. Whether you're a parent of an athlete or looking to be a better mentor, this conversation provides insights on building resilience, confidence, and stronger relationships.

00:00 Introduction to Car Ride Conversations

01:29 Lessons from Coaching: Parenting and Pressure

02:40 Real-Life Coaching Stories

04:32 The Importance of Values and Mindset

06:27 Effective Communication and Emotional Management

08:10 Three-Step Coaching Process

09:28 Engaging with the Podcast Community

10:37 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Kids

13:30 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. How do we each tend to respond to pressure during tough moments—whether it's in a game, at school, or at work? Follow-up: What helps you feel more calm or focused when things get stressful? What could we do better as a team (parent and athlete)?
2. Have you ever felt like a coach (or teacher) didn’t believe in you—or totally did? What made you feel that way? Follow-up: As a parent, what can I do to show you I believe in you—especially when things aren’t going perfectly?
3. Which matters more to you: having a big moment of success or feeling like you’re getting a little better every day? Why? Follow-up: How do we usually celebrate progress in our family or team—and is there something we should do more of?
4. When was a time one of us used humor or just laughed something off to help deal with a mistake or tough moment? Follow-up: Do you think it helped? How can we use humor or positivity more when things don’t go our way?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Mastering Confidence, Calm, and Clutch: An Essential Guide for Athletes and Parents

In this episode of 'Confident, Calm, Clutch Car Ride Conversations,' host Valerie Alston dives deep into the essential traits that make athletes not just withstand but thrive under pressure. Valerie, a former athlete and sports psychology professional, breaks down the three core traits—confidence, calm, and clutch—and explains why they are vital for success not only in sports but also in school and life. This episode features actionable tips on how to train for these high-pressure moments through practice and mental rehearsal. Perfect for parents, young athletes, and coaches, this podcast aims to foster meaningful dialogue and lifelong skills one car ride at a time.

00:00 Introduction to Confidence, Calm, and Clutch

03:09 The Importance of Confidence

03:53 Mastering Calmness Under Pressure

04:37 Understanding and Developing Clutch Performance

06:36 Applying Clutch Skills Beyond Sports

08:55 Training for Pressure Situations

15:24 Reflecting on Pressure Moments

16:51 Interactive Discussion and Conclusion

Discussion questions:

1. When was the last time you felt pressure in a game, test, or life moment? What happened—and how did you handle it?
2. Do you think being clutch means never getting nervous? Why or why not?
3. What are 1–2 pressure scenarios you could practice this week—either for real or in your mind?
4. What’s something I (as your parent) could do to help you practice pressure without adding more stress?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Welcome to 'Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations' with Valerie Alston. In this episode, Valerie delves into managing nerves and using your body to enhance performance. Learn the importance of controlling your body's responses, using breath as a key tool to maintain calm and confidence, and practical strategies like box breathing and grounding techniques. This episode is perfect for parents and young athletes looking to build mental toughness, resilience, and confidence. Tune in to discover how to harness your body's natural reactions to stress and channel them productively.

00:00 Introduction to Confidence and Body Connection

00:51 Understanding the Mind-Body Link

02:31 Fight or Flight: The Body's Response to Stress

05:15 Harnessing Nervous Energy for Performance

06:42 Breathing Techniques for Athletes

13:11 Grounding Techniques to Stay Present

18:21 Family Discussion and Reflection

20:31 Conclusion and Next Steps

Download the FREE Mental Skills Journal here

Discussion questions:

1. How do you usually feel in your body before a game or big moment?
2. Have you ever tried a breathing routine to calm down? What worked—or didn’t?
3. What’s one thing you could do to stay centered during pressure moments?
4. How do we (as a family) talk about nerves? Is it seen as something bad—or normal?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Building Confidence Through Reflect Journaling: Unlocking the Power of Experience

In this episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston introduces the reflect journaling process as a powerful tool for athletes to learn and grow from every experience. Valerie emphasizes that confidence is built not just from winning but from learning and reflecting on both successes and failures. The episode explores the 'REFLECT' acronym, guiding athletes and their parents on how to recall events, understand emotions, focus thoughts, identify learning moments, evaluate strategies, create action plans, and track progress. This consistent practice promises to build confidence and resilience, using personal experience as the ultimate learning tool.

00:00 Introduction to Building Confidence

01:01 The Source of Confidence: Personal Experience

02:02 Learning from Failures

03:36 The Reflect Process: An Overview

05:52 Reflect: Step-by-Step Breakdown

10:07 Implementing the Reflect Process

15:50 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Athletes

19:11 Conclusion and Additional Resources

Download the FREE Mental Skills Journal here

Discussion questions:

• What’s something you learned about yourself from your last game or practice?
• When you mess up, what helps you move forward rather than dwell on it?
• Which part of REFLECT feels most useful to you right now?
• Would you be open to journaling together or reviewing your reflections with me sometimes?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Master Your Self-Talk: The Ultimate Guide to Boosting Confidence with P3 Thinking

What if the voice inside your head was your biggest fan instead of your harshest critic? In this episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston explores the powerful, yet often overlooked tool of self-talk to boost confidence. She introduces the P3 method—Purposeful, Productive, and Possibility-focused thinking—to train your inner voice to be your best teammate. Learn practical strategies like the AIR Technique (Awareness, Interruption, Replacement) to reshape your internal dialogue and improve mental toughness, resilience, and confidence. Whether you're a parent or a young athlete, this episode provides actionable insights to perform your best in any situation. Tune in to transform your self-talk and build lifelong skills, one car ride at a time.

00:00 Introduction to Self-Talk for Confidence

01:42 The P3 Approach: Purposeful, Productive, and Possibility Focused Thoughts

04:38 Effective Self-Talk Strategies: The AIR Technique

07:47 Proactive Self-Talk: Training Your Brain

10:00 Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk

13:16 Parental Support: Encouraging Productive Thoughts

15:15 Discussion Prompts and Final Thoughts

Download the FREE Mental Skills Journal here

Discussion questions:

1. What kind of things do you say to yourself during a game or practice? Would you say those same things to a teammate?
2. Can you come up with one “anchor phrase” that helps you refocus when things aren’t going well?
3. How do you think your self-talk changes when you're confident vs. when you’re struggling?
4. As a parent, how can I model or reinforce positive self-talk for you?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666