Shut Down the 'What If' Trap: Boosting Athlete Confidence and Focus

Welcome back to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations with your host Valerie Alston! In this episode, we tackle the common pre-game mental trap of 'What if?' thoughts that cause anxiety and hinder performance. Learn how elite athletes manage these thoughts to stay focused and present in the moment. Discover two key strategies: mindfulness for grounding yourself in the present and 'If-Then' planning for productive game prep. Perfect for athletes and parents alike, this episode offers practical tools to build mental toughness and resilience. Join us and turn every car ride into an opportunity for meaningful dialogue and lifelong skills development!

00:00 Introduction: Overcoming the 'What If' Trap

00:17 Welcome to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

00:54 Understanding the 'What If' Thoughts

01:51 The Mind-Body Connection and Anxiety

04:27 Grounding Techniques to Stay Present

07:38 Productive 'What If' Thoughts and Strategy

10:59 Interactive Discussion Questions

12:53 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Discussion questions:

1. When you get nervous, what’s one thought that tends to pop up first?
2. What’s something I can say to myself instead that would help me focus?
3. How can we help each other focus more on what we can control, not what might go wrong?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

In this episode of 'Confident Calm and Clutch Car Ride Conversations,' host Valerie Alston explores the 'fade out effect' - the phenomenon where mental skills training fades over time without continuous support from parents, coaches, and the community. Drawing insights from an article about the marshmallow test, Valerie discusses the importance of a supportive environment in ensuring the long-term retention of mental skills. With engaging questions for kids and parents, this episode provides actionable strategies for fostering resilience and confidence in young athletes. Tune in for valuable tips on creating a consistent and encouraging atmosphere for mental skills development.

00:00 Introduction to the Fade Out Effect

01:12 The Marshmallow Test Revisited

04:01 The Importance of Environment in Skill Retention

07:15 Practical Advice for Parents and Coaches

09:11 Engaging Questions for Kids and Parents

12:24 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

• When I tried to teach you to stay calm under pressure, what helped you keep practicing that? How can I or others support you more consistently?
• Think of a time you felt mentally strong on the field—what did others around you do that helped you maintain that? How can they keep doing it?
• If the coaches, teachers, and I agreed on one daily habit to reinforce your mental game, what would it be and how could we remind each other?
• What support do you wish you had on tough days—someone to encourage you, remind you, or celebrate small wins?

Article

https://psyche.co/ideas/what-the-marshmallow-test-got-wrong-about-child-psychology

Video

https://youtu.be/4L-n8Z7G0ic?si=u_6C_Dbl7r3FxON0

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

What happens when a championship-level coach takes over a middle school team of beginners? In this heartwarming and hilarious episode of Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston and her dad, a former coach, explore what it means to meet athletes where they're at. Listen in on laugh-out-loud stories from their middle school softball days, including a hilarious stolen base mishap, and learn how shared sports moments have shaped their father-daughter bond. Whether you're a parent, coach, or both, this episode reminds us why shared experiences matter, how humor builds connection, and why growth in sports isn't just about performance but presence. Don't miss out on the valuable conversation prompts at the end, perfect for sparking meaningful dialogue on your next car ride.

00:00 Introduction: Championship Coach Meets Middle School Team

00:49 Welcome to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

01:22 The Middle School Softball Experience

02:33 Funny Moments and Lessons Learned

04:21 The Importance of Meeting Athletes Where They Are

05:22 Father-Daughter Bond Through Sports

09:59 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Athletes

14:11 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. Have you ever been part of a team or group where you felt a little behind or unsure Parents: Can you share a time you felt that way too? How did you get more comfortable or confident?
2. What helps you feel supported when you're learning something new—especially when it's frustrating?How can we do a better job of encouraging each other during those “beginner” moments?
3. What’s one activity or experience we’ve shared that helped us feel more connected—like we were really on the same team? Follow-up: Is there something new we could try together to build more of those moments?
4. Why is it important for coaches (and parents) to meet kids where they’re at instead of expecting them to be perfect right away? Follow-up: What’s one area you feel like you're still growing—and what kind of support helps you most in that area?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666