Join me and amazing guest Emily Nagoski as we discuss the complexities of maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships. Emily uses the metaphor of a garden to illustrate how sexuality requires ongoing care and attention. We cover the importance of communication, overcoming shame, and understanding the impact of upbringing on sexual expression. Emily emphasizes the need for playfulness and adaptability in sexual relationships, as well as the significance of scheduling intimacy to prioritize connection. And you'll especially love emily's floorplan concept for accessing lust when it feels far away.

Grab Emily's Books Below:

Come As You Are

Come As You Are Workbook

Come Together

Burnout

Keywords - long-term relationships, sexuality, communication, shame, gender roles, emotional health, intimacy, pleasure, responsive desire, sexual connection

Join us at The Desire Revival to get past low or mismatched libidos keeping your sex life stuck. Register here: https://TheDesireRevival.com

In this episode, I introduce the Target Zone Framework, a tool designed to help people evaluate their relationships based on two key dimensions: spark energy and home energy.

I define both dimensions with an emphasis on the idea that home energy is foundational for emotional safety and intimacy.

We'll talk about how to assess current relationships, the significance of communication and emotional intelligence, and the need for novelty and playfulness to maintain attraction.

Download your Target Zone Guide here --> https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/7rmnFfbj

Got mismatched libidos? We can fix that! Grab your free ticket to The Desire Revival at https://TheDesireRevival.com.

~

In this episode, join Heather and guest Sexologist, Amy Rowan, to explore Amy and her husband's exciting evolution from a mostly vanilla sex life to having "hard points" in the basement dungeon for rope suspension.

Learn how trust, vulnerability and emotional intimacy led to sex life 2.0 for Amy and her hubby despite cancer and 3 kids and how you can create this dynamic yourself.

Is it time to explore kink and BDSM in your own relationship? Tune in and find out!

Keywords

kink, intimacy, relationships, sex therapy, vulnerability, trust, communication, pleasure, sexologist, suburban intimacy

In this episode, Heather discusses the concept of mental foreplay, emphasizing non-touch ways to get in the mood for sex.

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Mental Foreplay

09:40 The Power of Laughter and Fun

13:41 Physical Activity and Its Impact

16:46 Grooming and Style for Confidence

18:29 The Allure of Availability and Independence

Survey

Our Ask A Sex Therapist Podcast survey is still underway! Help the show improve and get a $10 Amazon gift card as a thank you for your time.

Take the survey now --> https://AskASexTherapistPodcast.com

P.S. So sorry for the delay in uploading this episode. We experienced major glitches with our hosting platform and tried 3 other platforms to get this episode to you. It seems the issue was related to the internet provider and we needed to use a VPN to get around it--other people have apparently reported similar issues!

Keywords

mental foreplay, emotional intimacy, sexual attraction, relationship dynamics, self-perception, physical activity, novelty, grooming, emotional closeness, relationship advice

Quit trying to seduce the woman in your life using your own assumptions and start approaching her based on her sexual personality type. You'll thank us for the results!

In this episode, Susan Bratton (our most downloaded guest), shares 4 sexual personality types and how to strategically approach women who fall into each category. You're in for a treat!

Please excuse a few audio glitches in this episode--it sounded smoothe when recording but there was a glitch in the software. We wanted to share it anyways because of the great content!

Don't forget to take the Ask A Sex Therapist podcast survey at https://AskASexTherapistPodcast.com! As a thank you for everyone who takes it, we will email you a $10 Amazon card. This is for a limited time only, so now's the time : )

Hey Friends! Please take this podcast survey and accept a $10 Amazon gift card as a token of my appreciation: https://forms.gle/oRqyaTokxxumnhy47

The show is only going to be getting better : )

Thanks,

Heather

Join Heather and NourishDocs founder Amita Sharma for a better understanding of how menopause impacts your mental health, marriage and sex life and what you can do to help yourself have a smooth transition in this phase of life.

Chapters:

00:00 Breaking the Silence on Menopause

02:39 Personal Journeys Through Perimenopause

05:39 Understanding Symptoms and Their Impact

08:14 Navigating Hormonal Changes

11:18 The Role of Education and Advocacy

14:00 Building a Supportive Community

17:02 Exploring Treatment Options

20:04 The Importance of Self-Care

22:49 Addressing Sexual Health and Relationships

25:32 Holistic Approaches to Wellness

28:32 The Future of Menopause Conversations

Find more about Heather and her services at https://HeatherShannon.co

Check out NourishDoc here! https://www.nourishdoc.com/

Keywords: menopause, perimenopause, PMS, hormone therapy, women's health, holistic wellness, self-care, community support, sexual health, education

In this episode, Heather guides listeners how to bring a sense of adventure and exploration to their sex lives.

Understanding Your Sexual Identity

• How to differentiate between what you think you "should" want versus what actually excites you
• Recognizing that preferences can evolve and change over time
• Moving past shame or judgment around desires that feel "different"

Communication and Exploration with Partners

• How to have conversations about fantasies and boundaries. Yes, no, maybe list.
• Creating safe spaces for vulnerability and honesty
• Navigating mismatched desires or comfort levels

Solo Exploration Techniques

• Mindful masturbation and body awareness exercises
• Fantasy journaling or exploration
• Using erotica, audio content, or visual materials as discovery tools

Practical Adventure Planning

• Setting up "sexual dates" with yourself or a partner specifically for exploration. Kissing lab. Sensory night. Positions month. 10 toys to try. Create a kissing lab (pecks, open mouth, long and deep, short and repeated, lots of tongue, little tongue, trace partner's lips with tongue, teasing and breathing while keeping mouths close to each other)
• Creating the right environment (physical space, mindset, timing)
• How to debrief and integrate new discoveries

Overcoming Common Roadblocks

• Performance anxiety when trying new things.
• Religious or cultural conditioning around sexuality
• Body image concerns that limit exploration
• Fear of rejection or judgment from partners

Building Sexual Confidence

• Celebrating small discoveries and wins
• Developing a growth mindset around sexuality
• Learning to advocate for your needs and desires

Check out Heather's Amazon Storefront for Books and Tools to Help You Explore! Heather Shannon, LCPC's Amazon Page

We Should Try It Couples Quiz - We Should Try It - online sex questionnaire for couples

Yes, No, Maybe List - https://www.sexedwithbyrd.com/yesnomaybelistfreebie