The 4-Stage Recovery Roadmap and What to Work on at Each Stage

If you’re feeling stuck or confused about where you are in your sobriety and what you should actually be working on, this episode is for you.

I see it all the time: people trying to fix everything at once, or trying to skip ahead to the deep emotional work when they haven’t even built a stable foundation yet.

And then they relapse. Or they burn out. Or they just stay stuck in the same patterns.

Today, I’m breaking down the four stages of recovery—what you should be focusing on at each stage, and why you can’t skip ahead.

Here’s the thing: the timelines I’m giving you are general guidelines. They’re not rules.

For me, I spent way more time in Stage 2. I needed that time. But Stage 3 went faster for me because I loved that part of my process —it was hands down my favorite part of the steps.

So don’t get hung up on the timeline.

What matters is that you’re doing the work required in each stage before you move on to the next one. You get out of this exactly what you put into it.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

–> 3:17: What Stage 1 actually looks like—and why the only goal is “don’t drink today”

–> 6:03: How to navigate Stage 2 when you’re asking “Who am I without alcohol?”

–> 11:05: Why Stage 3 is about rebuilding what matters and letting go of what doesn’t

–> 14:11: What it means to shift from surviving to thriving in Stage 4

–> 16:50: Why you absolutely cannot skip stages—and what happens when you try

Listen in and figure out where you are right now. Then focus on the work that actually matters at this stage—so you can build a life so powerful, so clear, so good that you’ll never want to leave it.

LINKS MENTIONED:

• Recovery Starter Kit
• Book a Free Consultation Call: addictionunlimited.com/call
• Episode 421 – Overwhelmed by Sobriety Advice, Here’s How to Actually Start
• Cozy Earth – Use code ANGELA for 20% off

You know what’s keeping you from getting sober? All the advice telling you how to get sober.

Everyone’s got a different rulebook.

The old-timers say meetings every day, get a sponsor immediately, work the steps to a tee.

People like me say do it your way—you don’t have to follow the doctrine perfectly.

And newer recovery voices are teaching completely different avenues to recovery.

And you’re stuck in the middle, just trying to figure out how to get through today without a drink, paralyzed by all these options, wondering which path is “right.”

Here’s the truth nobody’s telling you: There is no wrong way.

I’m giving you the three universal foundations that every strong sobriety is built on, and showing you how to stop waiting for permission and just start.

You’ll learn:

• Why success rates prove the program doesn’t decide—YOU do (and what recent research actually shows)
• The three universal foundations every strong sobriety is built on
• How to pick your path when everyone’s telling you something different
• What to actually DO today to start building your sobriety

Remember, a program doesn’t determine your success. You do.

A program doesn’t work or not work.

YOU work. YOU show up, do the things, follow guidance… or you don’t.

Your success is your decision.

In this episode, I’m cutting through all the noise and breaking down exactly what you need to start your recovery journey today—no matter which path or program you choose.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EISODE

Free Download: Daily Plan

→ Recovery Starter Kit
Step-by-step lessons, worksheets, checklists, and conversation starters for the hard talks. Walks you through building the three foundations with actual tools, not just concepts.

Book a Call
→ addictionunlimited.com/call
Not sure where you are or what level of support you need? Let’s talk. We’ll figure out what’s the right fit for you right now.

Related Episode:
Episode 418: You’re Not Doing the Work, You’re Just Watching Other People Do It

You quit drinking. So why do you still have all the same problems?

You quit drinking. That’s huge. But if you’re sitting there wondering why you still have all the same problems you had when you were drinking – I can tell you exactly why.

Drinking was never the actual problem. It was a symptom.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the difference between sobriety (removing alcohol) and recovery (healing the patterns underneath the behavior).

Because putting down the drink is just the starting line, not the finish line.

We talk about why you’re still making the same shitty choices (just without alcohol), the patterns keeping you stuck that have nothing to do with drinking, how to identify what you’re actually feeling when emotions are totally foreign, and the one thing that separates people who heal from people who stay stuck.

Here’s the truth: most people think quitting drinking is the finish line. It’s not.

Sobriety removes alcohol. Recovery heals the patterns.

If you quit drinking but you’re still people-pleasing, self-sabotaging, avoiding discomfort, or reacting emotionally to everything – you’re just living your drinking life without alcohol.

Same patterns, same problems, just without the numbing agent.

This one’s raw, real, and no fluff. Just the truth about what it actually takes to heal.

In this episode, I share:

• 3:30: Why drinking is only a symptom of bigger problems
• 8:03: The patterns you need to heal (and how to identify them)
• 13:14: What to do when you can’t even recognize what you’re feeling
• 15:10: Why action – not information – is what actually changes your life

Listen in, and if you’re ready to take big action and get big results, I have three coaching spots open this month. Book a call at addictionunlimited.com/call.

And check out this episode about how presence is not equal to participation:

You’re Not Doing the Work — You’re Just Watching Other People Do It

Everything you need to know about why sobriety alone isn’t enough – and what real recovery actually looks like.

Listen, I see this pattern ALL the time with the people I work with.

They quit drinking, they think they’ve done the hard part, and then a few weeks or months in… they’re confused.

They’re disappointed. They’re thinking, “Is THIS what the rest of my life is going to be like?”

And the answer is: only if you stop here.

Sobriety is quitting. Recovery is healing. And the only way to stay sober – the only way to actually build a life you love – is to do the healing work

Most people quit drinking hoping sobriety won’t be too inconvenient.

They want the same life.
The same relationships.
The same routines.
Just… without alcohol.

And at first, it works. You feel better. Clearer. Less foggy.

But then — weeks or months in — the feelings come back.

Anxiety.
Overwhelm.
Anger.
Fear.

All the things alcohol was quietly managing for you? They’re still there. And now they’re loud because you aren’t numbing them anymore.

That doesn’t mean sobriety is failing.
It means your nervous system is healing.

Today, I’m sitting down with Michael Z, who has 30 years of sobriety.

And let me tell you, this conversation is GOLD.

Michael is old-school AA, incredibly honest, and he shares exactly what it was really like in early sobriety and what it takes to build a life you actually want to live long-term.

Because recovery isn’t a destination — it’s a practice.

If you’re newly sober and struggling – if you’re thinking “why is this so hard?” or “I thought things would be better by now” – you’re not doing it wrong.

You’re just in the gap. The gap between sobriety and recovery.

Grab your headphones, get comfortable, and let’s talk about what it really takes to stay sober.

Trust me, this conversation is going to give you the clarity and the roadmap you need to move forward.

If you’re done white-knuckling, overthinking, or feeling stuck in that miserable middle — and you want real support to build a solid recovery foundation — I can help.

👉 Book a call with me and let’s talk about what support would actually move you forward.

Connect with me:

Instagram: @addictionunlimited
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Michael Z’s book: The Wisdom of the Rooms (daily recovery quotes and reflections)
• Michael Z’s book: The Twelve Steps of Modern Hero’s Journey (recovery through the hero’s journey framework)
• Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. Recovery doesn’t happen in isolation – and neither does healing.

Reading about sobriety isn’t the same as doing the work to get sober.

If you feel like you’re doing everything for your sobriety—but nothing is actually changing—this episode is for you.

And trust me, there’s a huge difference!

Here’s the thing: when I got sober, the landscape looked completely different.

There were no podcasts, no endless library of quit lit books, no free challenges.

But today? You can fill every spare moment with sobriety content.

And while that’s amazing in so many ways, it’s also created something I see over and over: people who mistake presence for participation.

They’re reading books, listening to podcasts, signing up for challenges, even showing up to meetings – but they’re not actually engaging.

They’re just… there.

And that’s how people stay stuck for years—busy, informed, and still drinking.

So in this episode, I’m breaking down exactly what it means to shift from passive presence to active participation.

Because that shift?

That’s where real transformation happens.

I dive into:
3:48 – Why passive sobriety feels like progress but quietly keeps you stuck
8:30 – The false comfort of other people’s stories vs. doing your own work
13:12 – How to tell if you’re participating… or just observing
17:36 – Why only showing up for celebration hurts your recovery (this one stings)
19:56 – What real participation looks like—and why the same people succeed
21:49 – Simple ways to start participating today, even if you’re uncomfortable

Tune in and get ready to shift from being present in your recovery to actually participating in it.

Because that’s where the magic happens, my friend.

And I promise you’re capable of it – right now, exactly as you are.

If you’re done consuming recovery content and ready to actually change, Sober Society is where that happens.

Join us in Sober Society for just $27/month! We’ve got meetings throughout the week (and we’re adding more in February, including a meditation meeting!).

This is a place where people actually show up, support each other, and do the work together.

Find all the details at addictionunlimited.com/society
Schedule a call to work with me at addictionunlimited.com/call

If you’re getting sober in 2026, make it your only focus—everything else can wait.

Here we are, in that weird part of early January where everyone’s trying to overhaul their entire life at once.

New year, new you, right?

Quit drinking AND hit the gym AND change your diet AND meditate AND deal with your trauma… all at the same time.

But… when you try to transform everything simultaneously, you’re not being ambitious—you’re sabotaging the one thing that actually matters.

Today is my 20th sobriety birthday, and I’m sharing something that helped me get from one day to the next in early recovery: making sobriety my ONE thing. This simple approach allowed me to start accumulating time, finding relief, and building belief in myself—one day at a time.

Because sobriety isn’t 10% of your energy. It’s 100%.

In this episode, we dive into:

>> The hard truth about alcohol: it worked as your relief system, and you have to replace that relief

>> Why early sobriety is a full-time job disguised as “just not drinking”

>> How to do an inventory of your pain points and build a new survival toolkit

>> The ONE question to guide every decision: Is this getting me closer to sobriety or closer to a drink?

Early sobriety means managing cravings, sitting with unbearable feelings, rewiring every social situation, and learning to survive without your only coping mechanism.

That’s not a side project. That’s the entire project.

If you’re getting sober in 2026, or recommitting to sobriety, make it your sole focus.

Do this one thing well. Master it. And when it becomes stable, you can add something else.

But right now? Just stay sober. Everything else comes from that.

Listen in, and remember: sobriety IS the transformation.

Links mentioned in this episode:

Is Angela the right Coach for you? Book A Call Here to find out : addictionunlimited.com/call

Join the Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited

Why January 1 Isn’t the Answer — and What Actually Moves You Forward

It’s New Year’s Eve, and if you’re feeling that familiar pressure—that maybe-this-year-will-be-different energy—I want you to take a deep breath and listen up.

Whether you’re planning to drink tonight (even though you don’t really want to), or you’re already sober but looking at 2026 like it’s some kind of test you have to pass… I see you.

And here’s what I need you to know: You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re just in a stage.

In today’s episode, I’m walking you through the Stages of Change—a professional framework used in psychology and addiction recovery that’s going to help you figure out exactly where you are in your journey. Because once you know your stage, you’ll know exactly what to do next.

No more spinning your wheels. No more beating yourself up. Just clarity, action, and a path forward.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

The 5 stages are:

1. Pre-Contemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Preparation
4. Action
5. Maintenance

(Spoiler: If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re already past stage 1. But where are you really?)

Why people get stuck in contemplation (and the one thing that moves you forward—hint: it’s not more research)

The difference between preparation and action (and why support is the bridge between the two)

Why January 1st isn’t going to save you (but action will)

How to avoid burnout in maintenance (and why my 90-Day Focus Planner is built to help you actually make progress)

🎉Why This Episode Matters Right Now

If you’ve been beating yourself up for “not having it figured out yet,” this episode is going to shift everything for you.

You’re not failing. You’re not lacking willpower or motivation. You’re just doing the wrong work for the stage you’re in.

And once you understand that? Everything changes.

🔗Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Dry January Bootcamp – 31 days of structure, support, and figuring out who you are without alcohol.

90-Day Focus Planner – Built for people who want to make real progress without burning out. Three goals at a time.

Coaching with Angela – If you’re ready to stop effing around with starts and stops, book your consultation call and let’s get you the support you need.

Join the Facebook Group

Healing, growth, and personal transformation — with or without a label.

This episode is the final conversation in The Unlimited Life™ Starter Series —
The 10 most powerful episodes from the Addiction Unlimited archives to help you rebuild your rhythm, structure, and emotional peace.

And I saved this one for last for a reason.

Because what Ian Morgan Cron and I talk about here goes beyond sobriety…
Beyond addiction…
Beyond labels.

This is about transformation.

The truth is, everyone has patterns.
Whether it’s alcohol, perfectionism, food, control, or people-pleasing — we all have behaviors we use to cope.
And the 12 steps offer a framework to heal the emotional root — not just the habit on the surface.

You don’t have to be an alcoholic to feel overwhelmed.
You don’t have to be a drug addict to crave peace.
And you don’t need a label to want something more.

This episode is your reminder that you belong in the work of healing — no matter how it looks on the outside.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why the 12 steps work for any human — not just those in addiction

• What it means to transform your character, not just your habits

• The truth about higher power — and why you might already have one without realizing it

• What to do when you feel like you’re “not sick enough” to belong

• How the 12-step framework helps with emotional sobriety, identity work, and deep personal growth

In this episode, I sit down with Ian Morgan Cron, author of The Fix, to talk about how the 12 steps aren’t just for addicts — they’re for humans.

• 🧠 Join the Dry January Bootcamp — Start your year with structure, clarity, and support
  
• 💬 Book a Call — For coaching, structure, and real transformation
  
• 📖 Ian’s Book: The Fix — How the 12 Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation

• 🎧 Original episode post:
  → addictionunlimited.com/healing-growth-and-freedom-the-12-steps-for-everyone