In this finale, we’re putting Season 1 on trial. From petty dating moves to wild confessions, “hoe crimes” gone wrong, and misdemeanors that should be legal! We’re breaking down ALL the chaos that got us here. Plus, we name-drop a few celebrities along the way 👀

✨ In This Episode We Unpack:

• The pettiest dating “crimes” we’ve committed

• Accidentally breaking the “hoe code” (double-booking, forgetting names, revenge blocking)

• Our wildest confessions before closing out the season

• Which misdemeanors should actually be legal

• Hoe Court: putting our stories (and yours) on trial with playful sentencing

💌 This one’s for you if you’ve ever forgotten somebody’s name… at the worst time possible 😵‍💫

🛎️ New episodes every week. Follow for more wild stories, over complicated girl math, and Season 2’s Hoe Bootcamp!

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok:

@hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

Find All of Melody Parker's Links 🙈

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

2:07 – Pettiest dating crime you’ll admit here

2:57 – Have you ever “accidentally” committed a hoe crime?

5:15 – Wildest confession to end Season 1

10:50 – Which misdemeanors should be legal?

13:24 – Which Season 1 stories deserve jail time vs. a fine

15:51 – Funniest lie you told to get out of trouble

21:49 – Wildest DM slide you’ve done that actually worked

25:15 – Ever faked a whole vibe/persona to pull someone?

27:09 – Your hoe felony that still makes you laugh or cringe

29:06 – Hoe Court Game (Guilty, Innocent, or Hung Jury)

Are we actually healing… or just rebranding our toxicity? 🤡 This week we dive into the messy, chaotic, clown-nosed reality of what “healing” actually looks like. Think journaling at noon and texting your ex at 12:05, blocking/unblocking cycles, and all the delusional little milestones that make growth feel ✨spicy✨

In This Episode We Discuss:

• The most delusional “I’m healed” moments

• Whether blocking is growth or just petty rebranding

• Can you date while healing or do you need to be alone?

• Petty “healed” boundaries we’ve set (and broken)

• Why healing isn’t linear… it’s messy, petty, and sometimes drunk

•Game of the Week: Villain or Visionary: Healing Edition

💌 This one’s for you if you’ve ever celebrated a week of no contact like a national holiday

Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

Find All of Melody Parker’s Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

1:02 – Most delusional “I’m healed” moment

6:01 – Is blocking growth or just toxic rebrand?

9:08 – Blocker or muter?

11:31 – When you learned healing isn’t linear

16:23 – Dumbest thing you justified as “healing”

17:44 – Does healing look different for hoes vs. housewives?

19:22 – Can you heal while dating, or need to be alone?

23:11 – Pettiest “healed” boundary you’ve set

24:54 – Game: Villain or Visionary (Healing Edition)

What happens when your situationship goes Instagram official… without you? 😅 This week, we’re breaking down the modern dating chaos of soft launches, hard launches, and the secret art of posting without posting.

In This Episode We Unpack:

• The most unhinged soft launches we’ve ever done (tattoos, plates, mystery shadows 👀)

• Getting soft launched without consent…🤣 and what we actually did about it

• The eternal debate: is it worse to stay hidden or get launched too early? 🙈

• When posting your relationship becomes PR: and how to tell the difference

• Celebrity soft launches we love, hate, and can’t stop screenshotting 🤥

• The fine line between being “private” and just straight-up secretive

•Game of the Week: Soft or Sus? 😇

💌 This one’s for you if you’ve ever hard-launched the wrong man, or kept a situationship SO secret you almost forgot you were in it 😚

New episodes every week! Follow for more millennial girl talk that doubles as free therapy (and free chaos) 💖

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

🙈 Find All of Melody Parker’s Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

0:57 – Most embarrassing soft launch we’ve ever done

6:11 – Being soft launched without consent

9:09 – What’s worse: never being posted or being posted too early?

11:28 – Would you date someone who refuses to post you?

11:44 – When does posting become PR instead of love?

13:32 – Celebs who nailed the launch game (and who flopped)

16:04 – Hidden vs soft launched: what’s the difference?

17:26 – Is soft launching manipulative or just modern privacy?

19:53 – Game: Soft or Sus?

Some opinions are best kept private… but obviously those rules don't apply to us! This week we’re exposing unhinged takes, conspiracy theories, and irrational hate that would 100% get us canceled if they left our Notes app. From petty trends we think are dumb to secret confessions that are horrible but kind of iconic, this one’s pure cancel worthy, unfiltered chaos.

In This Episode We Unpack:

• The hot takes that would have Twitter in flames 🔥

• “Irrational” celebrity hate & pop culture gossip we can’t defend 👀

• Petty trends we think are dumb but no one admits it 🤡

• Controversial stories and opinions that toe the line 🚩

• Secret confessions we’ve never told anyone (and maybe shouldn’t) 🙈

• Best friend banter + storytime podcast energy

This one’s for you if you’ve ever had an opinion you’d only say in the group chat 💬

New episodes every week! Follow for more unfiltered chaos, cancel-bait confessions, and wild conspiracy theories explained 🤪

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

🙈 Find All of Melody Parker’s Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

0:34 – Opinion that would piss people off 😈

5:04 – Most unhinged take you’d only say here 🤪

9:05 – Hill you’ll die on no matter what 🪦

10:02 – Things women need to stop pretending to like 🙄

12:38 – Horrible but kinda iconic confession 👀

15:06 – Celeb/influencer you irrationally hate 🤡

19:29 – Dumb trend no one admits is dumb 🥴

21:51 - GAME: Cancel Roulette 🎰

Some call it toxic, we call it comedy. This week we’re diving into the messy side of dating stories, petty revenge, and those bad decisions you swore you’d never admit out loud. From playing dumb on purpose, to lies that accidentally became canon, we’re unpacking the entertaining chaos that makes toxic relationships, cheating stories, and messy situationships worth retelling.

In This Episode We Unpack:

• Petty confessions that were wrong but objectively hilarious 🤣

• Playing dumb in situationships (and actually getting away with it)

• Red flags in dating that friends now enable because they’re entertaining 🚩

• Hoe phase logic vs. relationship advice that would never make it to a therapy session 🗒️

• Villain Era moments: when you were dead wrong, but also kind of a visionary 👀

• Best friend banter + storytime podcast energy (aka your weekly reminder that closure in relationships is optional)

💌 This one’s for you if you’ve ever justified your hoe phase with “but it was funny though.”

New episodes every week! Follow for more petty confessions, hoe phase logic, and best friend banter ✨

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

🙈 Find All of Melody Parker’s Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

01:13 — What’s something you did that you knew was wrong but was objectively hilarious?

04:21 — When have you played dumb on purpose and it actually worked? 🤪

06:09 — What’s something you got away with that you’d 1000% do again?

08:05 — What’s a toxic trait you have that your friends now enable because it’s entertaining? ☕️

10:17 — What lie did you tell that became canon because you refused to correct it?

14:34 — GAME: Villain or Visionary? 😈

In this episode we unpack:

• Chaotic purchases we STILL defend (aka unserious budgeting at its finest)

• The little lies we tell ourselves to justify bad decisions… financial and emotional

• “I earned this” spending after breakups, periods, or any slight inconveniences

• Signs from the universe that we used as an excuse to swipe the card 😌

• Unserious budgeting habits we’ll never give up

• Non-financial Girl Math moments (the delusional logic that rivals toxic relationships & situationships)

• 🎯 Game: Justify This Purchase… a true girl math masterpiece.

💌 This one’s for you if you’ve ever called bad decisions “self-care”, or justified a hoe phase purchase with the most unserious math imaginable.

Follow for more weekly episodes, because your hoe phase deserves consistency 💖

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

🙈 Find All of Melody Parker’s Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

0:59 – Chaotic Purchases: What’s your most unhinged purchase that you STILL defend?

6:06 – What’s a lie you told yourself to justify a bad decision…financial or emotional?

9:30 –What’s your version of “I deserved it” spending?

11:55 – Signs from the Universe: What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever considered a sign to spend money?

14:31 – Fan Love ❤️🥰 (listener shoutouts)

17:58 – Unserious Budgeting: What’s your most unserious budgeting habit you’ll never give up?

21:17 – Non-Financial Girl Math: What’s your most delusional logic outside of money?

24:14 – 🎯 Game: Justify This Purchase (turning bad decisions into valid girl math)

This one’s for the self-aware baddies who can admit… yeah, I was the red flag at least once. We’re not blaming Mercury retrograde for our toxic relationships…. this time! Just owning the petty fights we started for fun, the situationships we stirred up, and the ex-boyfriend drama we may or may not have caused on purpose 😆

We’re talking dating disasters, cheating stories, and our official Red Flag Draft (yep, we literally drafted our worst traits like a fantasy football team). Plus, those “I healed 80% and said good enough” moments that never make it into relationship advice threads 🤷‍♀️

In this episode:

• The pettiest, most toxic things we’ve done… and owned

• Times we got called out and actually sat with it

• Starting arguments just to feel something

• Sending mixed signals on purpose

• The Red Flag Draft (drafting toxic traits, and yes, it’s as bad as it sounds lol) 🚩

If you’re here for messy stories, girl talk, and unfiltered conversations where we’re the villains in our own dating stories… press play.

Follow for more red flags in dating, bad decisions, and the healing we keep rescheduling 😘

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

🙈 Find All of Melody Parker’s Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

2:46 – What’s the pettiest or most toxic thing you’ve done that you knew was wrong but did anyway?

12:53 – When did someone call you out and you actually had to sit with it?

20:03 – Have you ever started an argument just to feel something?

23:17 – Do you give off mixed signals? On purpose?

25:11 – Red Flag Draft 🚩

Maybe you weren’t “crazy”… you were just out here giving wifey energy to a man who couldn’t even commit to a dinner plan. This is our love letter (and roast) to the version of us that stayed loyal in messy situationships with no title, no clarity, and definitely no reciprocity.

We’re talking breakup recovery, pick me phases, and all the little “quirks” we let slide that were actually dealbreakers in disguise.

In this week’s girl talk episode, we spill about:

• Giving loyalty before there was even a label

• The “did I really do that?” pick me moments

• How we explained away trash behavior when we were triggered

• Confessions from the emotionally stable… during their toxic era

This one’s for you if you could’ve written a whole resume based on how hard you showed up for a man… who did the bare minimum 🥲

🔔 Follow for more misused devotion, emotionally unavailable men, and resumes we’re burning

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

🙈 Find All of Melody Parker's Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

3:10 – How long did you stay loyal before y’all even had a label?

7:14 – Have you ever felt embarrassed by the version of yourself that showed up for someone who didn’t deserve her?

10:01 – What was your most “pick me” moment? (Be brave.)

15:19 – What’s a behavior that used to be a dealbreaker but suddenly became “quirky” once you liked him?

20:03 – Game: “Okay, But I Was Triggered”