-
The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole
- Narrado por: Guy Williams
- Duración: 12 h y 1 m
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Resumen del Editor
Armageddon arrived on a weekday, which was really inconvenient for a lot of people, including The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. After their appearance on The Kayla Mangrabler talk show, they decided to go their separate ways and cause as much havoc as possible.
Jesus has been stuck at the craps table for three days, sipping vodka and Red Bull, completely missing the end of the world. But he is about to meet up with Death and go on a road trip that will test their resolve and their blood alcohol content.
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Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hordes of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hellbent on delivering a Cease and Desist order to Lucifer himself.
They'd better hurry, because the Devil is rising in the desert, and he is hungry to start the Apocalypse that his son could not. But only if he can get it on with his giant floating glory hole.
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Historia
For 10 years Kal Hakala has been the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation's top man, the longest surviving agent in its blood-soaked history. The World At Large has no idea that The World Under exists. And its vampires, demons, zombies, and mythic monsters are growing increasingly restless. In all Kal's time with the Bureau, there has been no case he couldn't crack, no monster he couldn't kill. Then a plague of zombies comes to Denver, along with a vicious serial killer dubbed The Organ Donor.
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very, very enjoyable. a great listen
- De Dr Dionne P Joseph en 08-24-13
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The Unnoticeables: A Novel
- The Vicious Circuit, Book 1
- De: Robert Brockway
- Narrado por: Nick Podehl, Emily Foster, Scott Merriman
- Duración: 7 h y 49 m
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There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
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Left wanting
- De Michelle L. Baron en 08-08-15
De: Robert Brockway
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- De: Robert Bevan
- Narrado por: Jonathan Sleep
- Duración: 32 h y 43 m
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Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- De Jonathan en 06-26-19
De: Robert Bevan
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Krampus
- The Yule Lord
- De: Brom
- Narrado por: Kirby Heyborne
- Duración: 16 h y 16 m
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One Christmas Eve in a small hollow in Boone County, West Virginia, struggling songwriter Jesse Walker witnesses a strange spectacle: seven devilish figures chasing a man in a red suit toward a sleigh and eight reindeer. When the reindeer leap skyward, taking the sleigh, devil men, and Santa into the clouds, screams follow. Moments later, a large sack plummets back to earth, a magical sack that thrusts the down-on-his-luck singer into the clutches of the terrifying Yule Lord, Krampus.
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5 stars
- De colleen en 11-17-12
De: Brom
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Ghost Road Blues
- The Pine Deep Trilogy, Book 1
- De: Jonathan Maberry
- Narrado por: Tom Weiner
- Duración: 14 h y 17 m
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The cozy little town of Pine Deep buried the horrors of its past a long time ago. Thirty years have gone by since the darkness descended and the Black Harvest began, a time when a serial killer sheared a bloody swath through the quiet Pennsylvania village. The evil that once coursed through Pine Deep has been replaced by cheerful tourists getting ready to enjoy the country’s largest Halloween celebration in what is now called “The Spookiest Town in America.”
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Love Joe Ledger Series? Avoid This Trainwreck.
- De Kathleen en 10-21-13
De: Jonathan Maberry
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John Dies at the End
- De: David Wong
- Narrado por: Stephen R. Thorne
- Duración: 14 h y 17 m
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- De C Yohe en 11-19-12
De: David Wong
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The Electric Church
- De: Jeff Somers
- Narrado por: Todd McLaren
- Duración: 10 h y 55 m
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Avery Cates is a very bad man. Some might call him a criminal. He might even be a killer - for the right price. But right now, Avery Cates is scared. He's up against the Monks - cyborgs with human brains, enhanced robotic bodies, and a small arsenal of advanced weaponry. Their mission is to convert anyone and everyone to the Electric Church. But there is just one snag: Conversion means death.
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Holy Dystopia
- De Amazon Customer en 08-21-16
De: Jeff Somers
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Black Dog Blues
- The Kai Gracen Series, Book 1
- De: Rhys Ford
- Narrado por: Greg Tremblay
- Duración: 8 h y 50 m
- Versión completa
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Ever since being part of the pot in a high-stakes poker game, elfin outcast Kai Gracen figures he used up his good karma when Dempsey, a human Stalker, won the hand and took him in. Following the violent merge of Earth and Underhill, the human and elfin races are left with a messy, monster-ridden world, and Stalkers are the only cavalry willing to ride to someone's rescue when something shadowy appears.
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Not the story for me.
- De Heather K (Dentist in my Spare Time) en 06-08-15
De: Rhys Ford
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Ex-Heroes
- De: Peter Clines
- Narrado por: Jay Snyder, Khristine Hvam
- Duración: 8 h y 33 m
- Versión completa
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Stealth. Gorgon. Regenerator. Cerberus. Zzzap. The Mighty Dragon. They were heroes. Vigilantes. Crusaders for justice, using their superhuman abilites to make Los Angeles a better place. Then the plague of living death spread around the globe. Despite the best efforts of the superheroes, the police, and the military, the hungry corpses rose up and overwhelmed the country. The population was decimated, heroes fell, and the city of angels was left a desolate zombie wasteland like so many others.
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Superheroes vs. Zombies? Sure, why not...
- De Aser Tolentino en 10-04-12
De: Peter Clines
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Charlie the Anomaly
- Anomaly, Book 1
- De: Shae Ford
- Narrado por: Emma Galvin
- Duración: 15 h y 30 m
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After a centuries' long apocalypse, humanity has returned to its violent roots. The few ragged settlements that remain fight each other for what little the Nothing provides and will do whatever it takes to stay alive. Charlize Smith doesn't know it yet, but her hometown might be the last civilized place on Earth. Born a Defect and forced to undergo a slew of dangerous experiments, Charlie dreams of the day when she can finally set out on her own. But when a tragedy pushes her to the edge, she's arrested and thrown onto a truck bound for the Nothing - where she's probably going to die.
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Move along, nothing to see here.
- De Moondog en 12-28-18
De: Shae Ford
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Arena
- De: Logan Jacobs
- Narrado por: Joshua Story
- Duración: 8 h y 55 m
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When the aliens came down and told us they’d enslave all of the human race if we didn’t send our bigliest warrior to participate in their arena death games, I laughed at them. It was really funny because they obviously didn’t know who they were dealing with. Know what I mean? Then they said they would pick the greatest warrior, and they picked Marc Havak. He seemed like such an average guy, but he was a true-blue American. He even worked as a truck driver! That’s the kind of good guy we want defending us from aliens.
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he really did a great job
- De Jason Lavelle en 02-18-19
De: Logan Jacobs
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Deadlocked 1
- De: A.R. Wise
- Narrado por: Brian Sutherland
- Duración: 2 h y 11 m
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David was caught in the middle of the city when the zombie outbreak started. His wife and daughters were at home, stranded on the roof as zombies waited below. He would have to fight through hordes of undead, merciless other survivors, and a series of death defying stunts to get home. However, even if he makes it there, how can he be sure they're safe? Deadlocked puts you into David's head as he struggles to get home. Then a final confrontation occurs that could guarantee his family's survival, but at what cost?
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Looks like a great series to follow
- De Tilo en 07-06-14
De: A.R. Wise
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Apocalypse Now Now
- De: Charlie Human
- Narrado por: David Atlas, Fiona Hardingham
- Duración: 10 h y 38 m
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Baxter Zevcenko's life is pretty sweet. He's making a name for himself as the kingpin of his smut-peddling high school syndicate, the other gangs are staying out of his business, and he's dating the girl of his dreams, Esme. But when Esme gets kidnapped, things start to get seriously weird, and the only man drunk enough to help is a bearded, booze-soaked, supernatural bounty hunter who goes by the name of Jackson "Jackie" Ronin.
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WTF
- De Adam en 11-14-17
De: Charlie Human
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The Hospital: The First Mountain Man Story
- De: Keith C. Blackmore
- Narrado por: R.C. Bray
- Duración: 1 h y 37 m
- Versión completa
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A survivor of undead suburbia, mountain man Augustus “Gus” Berry is extremely careful when it comes to his actions and movements. He takes no chances and painstakingly weighs every decision—until he sets out for the hospital at the edge of town, hoping to discover a treasure trove of essential supplies. Soon, Gus will experience terror the likes of which he's never encountered before . . .
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40 ROLLS OF ASS CLEANING GOODNESS
- De Jim "The Impatient" en 04-25-15
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole
Calificaciones medias de los clientesReseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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- Erik
- 12-03-12
You'll either Love it or hate it....
Any additional comments?
This is a raunchy, yet hilarious spin on the end of days. Basically the Author focuses on sex, sex, and a little more sex. But its funny.
The bad about the audio book is that it was a little hard to keep track of the timeline as it jumped around abit. i'm sure it would be easier if you took your time with the written version.
The good; obvious toilet humor, fart jokes, and a mockery of the apocalypse. God is bored, Jesus and Death take a road trip, Famine is a large fat woman that if Rosanne Bar read her part it would have been perfect!!! Just silly non-sense fun. If you listen to the sample and like it you will love the book. If you don't like the sample you will hate the book.
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- A. Lund
- 05-28-13
I'm not a prude, but wtf?
I knew this would be raunchy and dirty, I mean look at the title, and I was totally ok with that. Until I finally understood what kind of raunchy once I got into it. It's absurd perverted characters... A lot of them... For no reason. So if there were one of these characters I wouldn't mind, two I'd even accept, three I'd start scratching my head and wondering what's up with the authors. But all of them? its beyond absurd, it just becomes boringly rediculous. Everyone has a boner, is trying to jack-off, have sex, doing drugs, or wanting give their sperm to Mother Earth. Oh and there's cock-bugs. Yeah I said cock-bugs, cocks with a bunch of legs.
Don't worry, there's some lesbians to round out the mix. They are sex crazed, gun toting, man hating, and ready to kill. So it's not predictable or stereotypical at all.
This just didn't work for me. I can't say it's offensive, because I just don't offend easily. It's tasteless. I don't recommend it.
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- Bemars55
- 07-26-16
Funny as F*"'k
For those who are easily offended. Go read something else. This is funny as shit.
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- Bill
- 08-19-13
The other reviews are not a dare!
There are awesomely bad stories, awesomely bad books, awesomely bad dick jokes...this is not one of them. Well, I'll amend that to say the first 45 minutes of it were not the first 45 minutes of one of them. Maybe it got better. I couldn't bear to listen to any more. The other reviews I read called it this horrible piece of trash filled with nothing but dick & fart jokes as if written by an elementary school child who just learned the words. Frankly, I consider parts of my sense of humor to be pretty juvenile, I do normally laugh at that type of stuff & I'm often the first to append "that's what she said" or "you mom" to otherwise innocent statements. I figured this book was low brow humor that the typical reviewer just didn't appreciate like an irreverent goofball like myself.
I'm a long winded guy, I could write a lot about how unintelligently written it is, how poor the "metaphors" he tries to string together come across, how poor the delivery of the homoerotic dick jokes was, how it reads like notes the potty-mouthed 3rd graders get held after class for writing when they learn new words. But I won't. I'll just leave you with this: If you're like me, you love the title, the cover art, and have a sense of humor that appreciates movies like Borat, Old School, or anything Kevin Smith does, you giggle at the office when your manager asks if he can borrow your dongle, and you saw the other reviews of this book as a clear case of intellectuals unable to let themselves go enough to have a good laugh at some low-brow humor. Save yourself the time and money, the other reviews are fair, this is bad. Really really bad. And not in a good bad kind of way. Just bad.
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- ceemax579
- 11-15-12
the worst audio I've every heard
What disappointed you about The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole?
It really was bad....the story
Would you ever listen to anything by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon again?
Worst story ever....
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
The narrator did his best. Kudos for him.
Any additional comments?
These guys should not even be in the same room with a Word processor
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- W.
- 04-28-13
Total waste of time
This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
Someone recently lobotomised might get some enjoyment from it.
I couldn't even finish the first chapter.
What was most disappointing about Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon ’s story?
It fell flat right from the second sentence.
How did the narrator detract from the book?
The narrator did an admirable job with the trash he was given to read
What character would you cut from The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole?
All of them
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- Robin in AR
- 11-12-12
Hilarious Romp for Me- Not For Prudes
I could not drink anything while listening to this because there was great danger of uncontrollable explosive laughter at any given moment during this story. I am not sure why it tickled my funny bone so much since the Apocalypse is a very serious subject, but this cast of characters and the things that happened to them or because of them was like no other story ever encountered in my extensive reading history.
The very names of the characters elicited gales of laughter, especially in the beginning scenes at the Burning Man contest in the Nevada desert. The law enforcement officers present at that, uh, "contest" , personify every redneck cop ever written about or known personally, but still fresh and new. And what they did there....oh, my!
The book description gives a pretty good overall rundown of how the story progresses and there is little I can add without giving away more than I should. The story progresses at just the right speed.
The narrator, Guy Williams, contributed a lot to my sense of hilarity. This was an excellent job of fleshing out characters with voice and tone. Kudos to Mr. Williams on this. I am still wondering how he managed to narrate this without breaking into laughter himself, so he must be a real professional.
This book contains a lot of profanity and sex of all kinds while making a complete fool's game out of the Apocalyse. It is a satirical farce on a grand scale. People in the Bible Belt and those with no sense of humor should probably avoid it. Also not for children under, oh, twenty-something. Otherwise, have fun.
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- James K. Freeman
- 07-22-13
not a prude
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
not possible
What could Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?
not write it
How did the narrator detract from the book?
he did fine with the sh*t sandwich he was given
What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?
could not stop barfing
Any additional comments?
really sad
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