Strange Situation

A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment

De: Bethany Saltman

Narrado por: Bethany Saltman, Fred Sanders

A full-scale investigation of the controversial and often misunderstood science of attachment theory, inspired by the author’s own experience as a parent and daughter.

“A profound and beautiful work . . . searingly honest, brazenly fresh, and startlingly rich.”—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon

When professional researcher and writer Bethany Saltman gave birth to her daughter, Azalea, she loved her deeply but felt as if something was missing. Looking back at her lonely childhood, dangerous teenage years, and love-addicted early adulthood, Saltman thought maybe she was broken.

Then she discovered the science of attachment, the field of psychology that explores the question of why—from an evolutionary point of view—love exists between parents and children. Saltman went on a ten-year journey visiting labs, archives, and training sessions, while learning the meaning of “delight” from Mary Ainsworth, one of psychology’s most important but unsung researchers, who died in 1999.

Saltman went deep into the history and findings from Ainsworth’s famous laboratory procedure, the Strange Situation, which, like an X-ray, is still used today by scientists around the world to catch a glimpse of the internal workings of attachment. In this simple twenty-minute procedure, a baby and a caregiver enter an ordinary room with two chairs and some toys. During a series of comings and goings, a trained observer studies the minutiae of the pair’s back-and-forth with each other.

Through the science of attachment, what Saltman discovered was a radical departure from everything she thought she knew—about love and about her own family, her story, and herself. She was far from broken—she saw that love is too powerful to ever break.

Strange Situation is a scientific, lyrical, life-affirming exploration of love. Not only will readers be taken on an emotional ride through one mother’s reckoning with her own past and her family’s future, but they will also be given the tools with which to better understand their own life histories and their relationships today.

Praise for Strange Situation

“A fascinating deep dive into attachment theory . . . Carefully researched and with copious endnotes, this is an excellent resource for anyone interested in child development.”—Publishers Weekly

“Honest and complex . . . A thoughtful engagement with a topic that affects all parents.”—Kirkus Reviews

Fascinating!

Thank you so much Bethany for your book filled with such fascinating and interesting information on attachment. Thank you for the raw vulnerability in sharing your own experiences and your heart and soul. I am so grateful to have read this book. I highly recommend it to others interested in this subject.

A must read!

Fantastic completion of information on topics near and dear... for mothers, students, and researchers alike.

Fascinating

Loved this journey with Bethany. Helped me form some personal reflections I my own motherhood journey.

There is hope in parenting and being human

As a mother and a therapist who has read volumes on attachment in an effort to sharpen my clinical skills and understand myself better as a daughter, wife, human and parent, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Bethany wonderfully complements the science of attachment with her personal story. In examining herself through the lense of attachment, she is able to re-narrate the events of her life and understand them more fully. Her doing so made room for me to do so and I am grateful for her effort.

Great book to learn more about attachment theory with lovely personal story

Great book to learn more about attachment theory with lovely personal story!

As a mother, I’m deeply touched by this story and grateful for how Mrs Saltman so honestly lay out her own thoughts and personal story. I do criticize my own parenting style from time to time and beat myself hard to “upgrade.” This book is a relief to me! Love it so much that I recommended to many people, including publishers in Taiwan. I registered to the AAI study program too! Thank you for this beautiful book!

A wonderful listen

Without a background in psychology OR being a mother, I was pleasantly surprised to have this be a thoroughly enjoyable and stimulating read. Bethany wove her own personal life story in with the clinical details of attachment theory so well that in some ways I felt I was reading a novel. Bethany wove her own, and Mary Ainsworth's life's stories in such a way to make it a fascinating, well-paced read. It's a remarkable book by a remarkable woman.

Ravishing

This book is so special and needed! Loved every word of it and it definitely has changed my life for the better. It is an honour, both to follow along the author’s journey of discovery and understanding and to plunge into the depth of the knowledge she shares with us. Totally recommend this book to anyone - not only parents. It is, indeed, a book about love and life.

Amazing and insightful book. At least for me it was.

I feel this book has given me lots to think about and at the same time it has given me lots of answers. This book makes me want learn more. It also gave me some pease of mind, it helps whit understanding me, me as a child, me as a teenager and me as a mom. We do the best we can, and if we know and learn more, we can do better. I think everybody will find a different, and his even his own lessen in the book, that for me makes a book good. I am grateful to have found this book.

My New Go-to Gift for All Parents

This book is an absolute must read for anyone who has a relationship with children. It's not a step by step "how to parent" or "do this not that", but instead captures the essence of what human relationships thrive on, and offers hope, conviction, encouragement, and wisdom.

Engaging and nerdy

This book literally transformed the way I view myself, my relationship with my kid.
The book is well written, and Bethany. The author is the reader and has a really smooth delivery.