Without Children

The Long History of Not Being a Mother

By: Peggy O'Donnell Heffington

Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin

Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins

Publisher's summary

A historian of gender explores the complicated relationship between womanhood and motherhood

In an era of falling births, it’s often said that millennials invented the idea of not having kids. But history is full of women without children: some who chose childless lives, others who wanted children but never had them, and still others—the vast majority, then and now—who fell somewhere in between. Modern women considering how and if children fit into their lives are products of their political, ecological, and cultural moment. But history also tells them that they are not alone.

Drawing on deep research and her own experience as a woman without children, historian Peggy O’Donnell shows that many of the reasons women are not having children today are ones they share with women in the past: a lack of support, their jobs or finances, environmental concerns, infertility, and the desire to live different kinds of lives.

Understanding this history—how normal it has always been to not have children and how hard society has worked to make it seem abnormal—is key, she writes, to rebuilding kinship between mothers and non-mothers and to building a better world for us all.

©2023 Peggy O'Donnell Heffington (P)2023 Blackstone Publishing

I felt seen

There was little repetition, which I see often in certain types of nonfiction, but the topic was fascinating. As a woman who lives in a part of the US that is very family-centric, I have felt on the outside for most of my adult life. This book added a feeling of belonging for me to other women who are child free - that the stigmas and assumptions by others and even that have been internalized by me are not unique. I really valued this book.

Childless, Childfree, or Without Children?

I read this book along with the audiobook, which helped me get through it—that is not a reflection of the audiobook or the substance, it just helps my brain to focus. O’Donnell Heffington does a good job providing a surface-level look at the history of childfree women and couples. It is western-centric, so if you’re seeking more data on Asian cultures—I was shocked there was no commentary on China’s two-child laws—this won’t give you much. However, for a book written during COVID-19? I’m impressed.

As someone who will be having a voluntary salpingectomy in seven days, this book arrived at the perfect time. 3.75 stars. Recommend, for sure—for mothers and the childfree alike.