The Way We Never Were

American Families and the Nostalgia Trap

By: Stephanie Coontz

Narrated by: Suzanne Toren

Length: 17 hrs and 49 mins

Publisher's summary

The definitive edition of the classic, myth-shattering history of the American family

Leave It to Beaver was not a documentary, a man's home has never been his castle, the "male breadwinner marriage" is the least traditional family in history, and rape and sexual assault were far higher in the 1970s than they are today. In The Way We Never Were, acclaimed historian Stephanie Coontz examines two centuries of the American family, sweeping away misconceptions about the past that cloud current debates about domestic life. The 1950s do not present a workable model of how to conduct our personal lives today, Coontz argues, and neither does any other era from our cultural past. This revised edition includes a new introduction and epilogue, exploring how the clash between growing gender equality and rising economic inequality is reshaping family life, marriage, and male-female relationships in our modern era.

More relevant than ever, The Way We Never Were is a potent corrective to dangerous nostalgia for an American tradition that never really existed.

©1992, 2016 Stephanie Coontz (P)2019 Hachette Audio

Critic reviews

"[Coontz] approaches the subject of what we now insist up on calling 'family values' with what is, in the current atmosphere, a refreshing lack of partisan cant."—Jonathan Yardley, Washington Post Book World

"Historically rich, and loaded with anecdotal evidence, The Way We Never Were effectively demolishes the normal, traditional nuclear family as neither normal nor traditional, and not even nuclear."—Nation

"Coontz's strength is in the way she shows that families of every era have been blamed for conditions beyond their control."—San Francisco Chronicle

Interesting and Informative

There is a lot of information in this book. It took me a while to finish the audio. I would've like more information on the intersection of race to be included throughout the book otherwise I enjoyed it.

Good info but dry

A lot more recitation of statistics than expected. That would have been good if I were studying the subject but was very tedious to listen to. Also impossible to assess the quality of the many, many studies cited, so solid conclusions are not possible.

That tracks

This was so thoroughly researched and written. Of course, there are those that would discard it regardless, however, some always will, even in the face of well reserached and written facts.

It had a good value production to it too. The narrator was excellent with the pacing and general telling of the book.

If you’re considering this, I think you should go for it; it’s a worthwhile read.

fantastic report on the dangers of nostalgia

fantastic i loved every moment of it

wonderfully researched and very enlightening

narrator was fantastic as well

Great book!

Very much worth a read - especially if you care anything about children and families and want to understand how today’s families are different from and not so different from our history.