We Over Me

The Counterintuitive Approach to Getting Everything You Want from Your Relationship

By: Khadeen Ellis, Devale Ellis

Narrated by: Khadeen Ellis, Devale Ellis

Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins

Publisher's summary

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The stars of the social media show The Ellises and hosts of the Webby Award-winning podcast Dead Ass with K&D share the core pillars of their relationship as millennial lovers and parents that have allowed them to thrive.

“Staying married in this day and age takes a whole different mindset, and this book gives an intimate and honest look at the inner workings of their strong union.”—Gia Peppers, award-winning journalist and host

After twelve years of marriage, twenty years together, and four kids, Devale and Khadeen Ellis have been through a lot. They’ve loved their way through a long-distance relationship, financial instability, parenthood, Khadeen’s near-death, and their near-divorce, chronicling their day-to-day life with their boys online. After much trial and error, they hit upon one surprising, essential truth: If you’re looking for a healthy relationship and a fulfilling life, focus on your partner’s needs instead of your wants. Choosing service over selfishness will not only make your relationship stronger, but it will help you achieve your own goals and build a legacy together.

With their trademark transparency and humor, Khadeen and Devale share the messy, behind-the-scenes work of what it takes to succeed and support one another in their search for individual purpose while growing in their marriage. They discuss family, parenting, sex and intimacy, finances, and commitment, with honest advice threaded through their stories, such as:

• Stop comparing yourselves to other couples and make your own rules.
• Learn how to function as a team.
• Keep talking about sex.
• The kids ain’t first.

The Ellises might not have all the answers, but they do know that good love takes friendship, grace, and service. Their personal and relatable truths will inspire you to be the kind of partner you want to be so you can build a supportive, enduring relationship.

©2023 Devale Ellis and Khadeen Ellis (P)2023 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Khadeen and Devale Ellis’s story shows that marriage can be a bumpy ride, but if you can laugh and cry together, argue fairly, and put we over me, you'll be on your way to long-lasting love and commitment.”—Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche, New York Times bestselling author of Get Good with Money

“Putting we over me is a concept that we have applied to our relationship for twenty-five years. Khadeen and Devale are great examples for how loving, playful, devoted, and business minded your relationship can be. Intentionally doing it all together and consistently putting the we over me. We are certain their testimony will inspire you and activate your relationship to mirror what they model.”—Dondré Whitfield and Salli Richardson Whitfield, actors

“The Ellis’s story shows that while marriage can be a bumpy ride, it can also be unbelievably beautiful if you learn how to argue constructively, put we over me, and remember to have a little fun along the way. This book will have you laughing and crying, and it’s a must-read for couples and singles who want the best out of their relationship (or who just want to be entertained)!”—Tommy and Codie Elaine Oliver, founders of Black Love, Inc.

I enjoyed every minute of this book

Great F*&KING Book! About to run it back right after this review. Lol shout out to Khadeen and Devale

I absolutely loved it!

You guys story is just awesome! I hope you guys can write another book in 20 more years.💜

Informative

A book that was informative and enlightening. Need it for today’s generation. Awesome and professional

Great book

This is a fantastic book and I love listening to a beautiful Brooklyn love story.

Faith, Family, Friends and Work Ethic’

Great background on their relationship and wise words on multigenerational homes and relationships. I will listen to this again.

Priceless information

Very good read, and I definitely would recommend people to read it whether they are single or in a relationship. I look forward to handing this over to my son one day. He’s only 15 now, so I got some time. But the gems that they gave us are priceless.

Wonderful Read

Your story is so inspiring. I thank you for sharing your lives with us. Speaking much continued success into you.

Unconditional Love!!💜

Thank you for sharing your journey. Your commitment to your marriage and family is truly amazing! Keep on showing up great for each other.

Amazing

I loved this book and story and love how they let us in their lives and was so open about everything!

Loved Every Minute

These 2 really invite you into the excitement about Friendship with one another before anything. They made me feel like i didnt fail at my 1st marriage but We just was too young&inmature to know what being in love,married w/children and adult situations could do if we wasnt planning &comming up w/strategies together.Their dedication to one another&harmony really helped me look from both perspective on why they seem to enjoy being of service to one another. Thank You for this Book!