9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage

And the Truths That Will Save It and Set It Free

By: Greg Smalley, Robert Paul

Narrated by: Lyle Blaker

Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins

Publisher's summary

Lies about marriage are rampant in our culture and the church. They’re killing marriages. But the corresponding truths can strengthen marriages and even save the most troubled relationships. In this audiobook, marriage experts Greg Smalley and Robert Paul identify the lies, explain how they work to destroy marriages, and reveal the truths that not only can improve marriages, but rescue those that are floundering.

Hope Restored, the renowned crisis marriage program created for Focus on the Family, is the basis for the discovery and understanding of these specific lies and their impact. Dr. Greg Smalley, a general marriage expert, and Robert Paul, the therapeutic director of a program that resuscitates nearly dead marriages, bring an unusual but powerful combination of perspectives that restore hope and healing in any marriage.

9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage includes several self-tests to help you assess the extent to which your own marriage has been affected by each of the nine lies.

©2020 Focus on the Family (P)2020 Tyndale House Publishers

Fantastic book and eye opening

Loved this book and it’s content. The only thank that seemed odd is at the beginning of the book, the author seems to be defending his denomination, not that he has faith in God.

Review of 9 lies that will destroy your marriage, Sep 2022

4.0-4.5 of 5 stars. I listened to the audiobook. Overall a good book with valuable information about misguided perceptions as they relate to marriage and personal relationships.

I read another review that said this book was contrary to scripture but I would argue that this book is based on truth. The authors articulated the truths the best way they could. I could monday morning quarterback some of the words, phrases, concepts, and techniques, but as long as you know the truth, the word of God, then you can glean plenty of valuable information from this book.

Chapter 1 was a little chaotic, but the rest of the chapters were pretty good. The book is well worth your time even if it’s only a reminder of the truths that you already know but forgot.

Take care of yourself first, then your spouse

Basically you need to take care of yourself first and then you’ll have enough love to give back to your spouse. This was so refreshing to hear as I was taught to always sacrifice my needs and wants for my marriage and children and was then left with no more love to give. We need to stand up for ourselves and take care of ourselves so we have lots of love ready to give. Make more time for what makes you happy in life again. Set goals! Care for yourself first so you’re ready to care for others. It makes sense!

Amazing book - Hope Restored Retreat

This is a must read book for all married couples. Christian married couples and couples that are searching for something different than society has brain washed.

I read this book prior (finished during) my wife and I’s visit to Hope restored marriage intensive retreat. The lessons, models and stories in this book combined w the intensive are simply god sent. I truly have tools, a new mindset and a née hope for my marriage.

If your marriage feels lost or hopeless or even getting that way please consider reading this book and visiting focus on the family and attending their Hope Restored marriage intensive. God bless you.

Lack of knowledge or an abusive partner?

Our behaviors can cross so many normal lines in a marriage to become an abuser.

Turning point in our marriage!

This book and the Intensive often mentioned were pivotal for my wife and I. While we were not on the brink of anything drastic, the health of our marriage was poor. My wife feeling we had a 4 out of 10 relationship - certainly not thriving.

After reading the book, and attending the Intensive, she now happily says we are a “10 out of 10” couple, and has a closeness to me she hasn’t felt in our 15 years together. I’m smiling as I write this because I feel the same. Our understanding of ourselves is deeper, and our marriage is so much stronger!

Very well written. A must read.

Excellent advice for a God fearing marriage!
Very easy to follow along. Would definitely recommend!

The Answer to working through Marriage Conflict.

This book spoke directly to me and layed out exactly what my marriage needs to be able to finally address long un-resolved issues. This would be the perfect book to read together with your spouse and do the activities together to eliminate all fighting in your marriage and learn to understand each other better as one who is on your side and not one who is against you. The Unity this book speaks about gives hope and a long lasting marriage that can thrive and produce a marriage that can overflow to other marriages who need the same help. This is a book for anyone who is married no matter how long or short you have been married for. Even though the title says 9 lies as if its 9 different things to talk about it doesnt read as of its 9 seperate issues. It reads as if its an all inclusive process of how to share your heart with your spouce and how to listen to your spouses heart in a safe and secure manner. The readers voice was perfect and I could not stop listening as it was exactlu what I needed to hear. Great Book! Life Changing! Marriage Saving!

Must read for married couples!

Wish we would have had this book 25 years ago at the beginning of our marriage. Would have saved a lot of heartache. So glad to have found it now and am so very hopeful for the next 25 years. (Also giving a shout out to Focus on the Family Marriage Intensives where this material is taught.)

Well worth the time spent

Clarifying and insightful
Easy to follow
Now to put it into practice
Hopefully I can put much into my marriage