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The Way I Used to Be Audiobook

The Way I Used to Be

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Publisher's Summary

In the tradition of Speak, this extraordinary debut novel shares the unforgettable story of a young woman as she struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault.

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn't change who she was. But the night her brother's best friend rapes her, Eden's world capsizes.

What was once simple is now complex. What Eden once loved - who she once loved - she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she's supposed to tell someone what happened, but she can't. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Told in four parts - freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior years - this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman's strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

©2016 Amber Smith (P)2016 Simon & Schuster, Inc.

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.5 (114 )
5 star
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4.5 (96 )
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4.6 (97 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Amber Rae San Francisco, CA 09-10-16
    Amber Rae San Francisco, CA 09-10-16 Member Since 2014

    I'm a clinical psychology doctorate student. I love to read a good romance or ya novel to escape from the everyday stresses of life.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Rough but Rewarding Read"
    Any additional comments?

    This book is not the easiest to finish due to the emotional content. I remember taking it in smaller doses when it got to be too much. Other times, I took large doses and stayed up till 6 in the morning. Overall, I was really moved by this book. It brought me back in time to when the popular, older girls would hang in the bathroom in high school and put their make-up on in the mirror. It brought back memories of being a freshman living in my first college dorm. Alas, it was hard to sit and wait for her to finally be able to tell someone she was raped, but the book was worthwhile.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    K. Moore 03-26-16
    K. Moore 03-26-16 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Unbearable"
    What did you like best about The Way I Used to Be? What did you like least?

    That Eden finally told someone. The fact that it portrayed a girl of 14 having sex ,this book showed how rape can destroy. This book could have ended 3 hrs earlier.


    Has The Way I Used to Be turned you off from other books in this genre?

    not sure


    Which scene was your favorite?

    When she finally opens her mouth and tells


    Do you think The Way I Used to Be needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    No


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    kaija 10-05-16
    kaija 10-05-16 Member Since 2015
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    "moving"

    the story was utterly fascinating. couldn't stop listening. was very moved by the whole message. thankful for this book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 04-10-16 Member Since 2012
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    "Hard to read, but didn't stop tell it ended"

    Tears, tears, tears. Good story that everyone should hear. Everyone needs to understand the fear that she felt for so long.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jo Martinsville, VA, United States 04-01-16
    Jo Martinsville, VA, United States 04-01-16
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    "One of the best books I've ever read"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    If they want to understand what it means to experience sexual trauma, then yes.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of The Way I Used to Be?

    Character's description of how she tried to overcome the experience of rape by forcing herself to have sex and eventually becoming promiscuous. This made sense of a phenomenon that on the surface of it, makes no sense.


    Have you listened to any of Rebekkah Ross’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    no


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

    .


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    emma 12-02-16
    emma 12-02-16 Member Since 2016
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    "Amazing"

    This book is very moving....no words can describe how it makes me feel. I love it...

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer San Antonio, TX United States 12-02-16
    Amazon Customer San Antonio, TX United States 12-02-16 Member Since 2016
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    "Gut wrenching"

    This story may be a work of fiction, but it is so realistic in its depiction as to be totally gut wrenching. It will pull you through the spectrum of emotions & wring you dry. I couldn't step away once I got into it. Glad the author did not try to wrap things into a pretty now at the end, but instead depicted the reality of the ending of this story being a new beginning.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Felicia 11-21-16
    Felicia 11-21-16 Member Since 2016
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    "Intense"

    This book frustrated me. I found myself often yelling, "come on! Just tell them!" Or "Be honest with josh! Tell him you love him". Her relationship with josh had me tied in and made me angry sometimes when things didn't go nh way, but that's what makes this a great book. The way that a book can tie me in so quickly and having me feel real emotions over the story just shows how good it is. In my opinion, this was honest, brutally honest. The really shows how sexual assault can effect people and how hard it is to tell, especially when you know the person. The way I used to be had be tied in and I couldn't put it down. It was a great story and experience.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Molly Clow 11-21-16
    Molly Clow 11-21-16 Member Since 2015
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    "Perfection"

    Never have I ever been more affected by a book in my entire life. I originally saw this book at target and read the description, something about the set up of the book reminded me so much of my experience in college (having gone though a similar situation my freshman year). Something just stuck out so much that I instantly decided that I would download it. I finished it in less than a day... I was so captivating by the words being said and was nearly (and literally) brought to tears by the fact that these word finally were able to put into perspective the feeling that I have been trying to figure out since my experience.
    This is a hard story, and for most people who haven't gone down the same road as Eden has, it may seem as though some of her choices do not make sense... but if you have been there this book will hit you hard.
    Most stories you read about rape (at least the ones I have read) never really show the disjointedness of life after... they don't talk about the need to replace the memories by any means... and they never talk about how easy it is to be sucked into that vortex. But this one did.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    B. J. Neary Oreland, PA USA 07-29-16
    B. J. Neary Oreland, PA USA 07-29-16 Member Since 2015

    bjneary

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    "The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith"
    If you could sum up The Way I Used to Be in three words, what would they be?

    LOVE GONE BAD


    What was one of the most memorable moments of The Way I Used to Be?

    This story about rape and its effects on a freshman in high school was a sucker punch readers will not be able to escape. Rebekkah Ross's narration of this audiobook was compelling; the voices Ross used for Eden, her friends and family were so good I did not want to stop listening! Eden is young for her age and nerdy. One night she is savagely raped by her brother's best friend, Kevin Armstrong, whom Eden idolized. As the reader follows Eden through high school, we see her terror (Kevin threatened to kill her if she told anyone & he said no one would believe her), self loathing, and descent into a life of self harm (she sleeps around, is rude and mean to her friends, she turns on her brother and parents, drinking and drugs). It was so distressing to see this young girl who was full of life and hope become angry, isolated, and desperate (Eden keeps pushing down the incident). I rooted for her to trust someone with the truth and for her rapist to burn in hell. Amber Smith gives the horrifying statistics about rape in her Author Notes- rape doesn't just destroy the victim and so many times it goes unreported, why is this? This story does a stellar job of getting into a victim's head and heart. Every school should have this book in their library and all teens MUST read this raw and compelling book!


    What does Rebekkah Ross bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Ross's narration made Eden such a prisoner and her descent into a life of hook-ups was crushing


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    When Eden finally tells the truth


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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