Why You're Not Married... Yet

The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve

By: Tracy McMillan

Narrated by: Tracy McMillan

Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins

Publisher's summary

If you're looking to get married and you're not, there's most likely a very good reason: you. Not that you're a bad person - you're certainly not! It's just that you haven't yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. So how can you grow into someone who is ready to say "I do" and to attract the same in a mate?

You start with this book.

Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article - one of the site's most-viewed of all time - Why You're Not Married . . . Yet dishes out straightforward, no-holds-barred practical and proven advice for women hoping to head down the aisle or just have a great relationship. With sisterly insight, razor-sharp wit, and refreshing candor, McMillan points out the things that might be in your blind spot: unhelpful attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs so easy to identify in others, but much more difficult to see in yourself. Then she shows you how to adjust them to get the relationship you deserve. Like a no-nonsense but loving best friend, McMillan meets you right where you are to help you get where you're going - with clarity and honesty. And she'll make you laugh out loud along the way.

More than just a relationship manual, Why You're Not Married . . . Yet will help you diagnose what's preventing you from getting what you want. Do any of these chapter headings sound familiar?

• You're a Bitch: How defensiveness and anger can hide behind a tough, take-charge exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness.
• You're a Liar: How to stop lying to men - and get honest with yourself - about the kind of relationship you really want. It's the only way.
• You're Shallow: Being a woman who insists on a tall guy is no different from being a man who demands big boobs. Learn why you should let go of trying to get what you think you should have and focus on getting what you need.
• You're Selfish: The big secret about marriage: It's about giving something, not getting it. The other big secret: You will have to go first.

Why You're Not Married . . . Yet isn't so much about getting a husband as it is about shifting your perspective on being a wife. Here's a funny, insightful guide to becoming a more loving woman and creating a more loving marriage - even if you're already partnered. It's a book that will change your life and the way you think about relationships, and it may very well lead you down the aisle.

©2012 Tracy McMillan (P)2012 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

" Why You're Not Married . . . Yet is funny, smart, and so, so true. Equal parts BFF, boot-camp instructor, and relationship guru, Tracy McMillan will change the way you think about yourself and your relationships. This book is for every woman out there who wants to have a great marriage" (Ricki Lake)

"Tracy McMillan is a hero and visionary. Through her book I realized about myself things people I pay a lot of money have been trying to tell me for years: that I'm a bitch, a slut, a mess, and that I hate myself. She gives solutions on how to heal, grow, and get what you want in life in a funny, inspiring, personal and very rare way. This book is an empowering way to take control of your life and become the person you want to be. So basically, she shows you how to be the opposite of me." (Actress and comedian Whitney Cummings)

"As someone who has been married for twelve years, I love to give advice to my single girlfriends. Now, thanks to having read this book, I'm actually qualified to give it." (Heather McDonald, regular on Chelsea Lately and best-selling author of You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again)

best self help book for single women

loved every single chapter of this book. I think every single woman should read it.

Nicely Said!

This book was very informative and easy to understand. I loved the use of examples in the text that gave great detail to the Do's and Don'ts. I can very easily read this book over and over and not get tired of hearing the good advice given here. Thank you Tracy. Loved it.

Every single girl needs to read this

Tracy just nailed it. All reasons why I and all of my single girlfriends are not married are listed in this book.
I loved it and will listen again to thoroughly create a plan on how I need to change :)

Stuff I needed to hear

Tracy made a lot of good points in the chapters that pertained to me. None of it was earth shattering, but it's all the stuff you suspect might be true when you buy this book. To hear someone else say it is the push I needed to enact change. I found her advice for change very helpful as well.
It was very funny to me that Tracy was right about the title to the last chapter being a huge turn-off, but I gave it a listen & I recommend you do the same. Some of the best advice in the book is in that chapter - and not just for me, I've relayed the advice to many of my girlfriends as well.
If you're reading reviews to determine whether or not to get this book - get it. There's something in it for every single girl... and the chapters that don't pertain to you, will remind you that you don't need as much work as you may have feared ;)

What your mom should have told you in your 20s

This was such a wonderful book that broke down some traits that many women would be able to relate to, sometimes a little bit and sometimes a lot. There are parts that could also apply to some men. Tracy feels like she is the big you sis you wish you had getting to the point about what you need to work on in yourself in order to be ready for a healthy commitment. I didn't realize that I was behaving in some of the ways she described and once I did, it is like a light was shining in all the dark hallways of my mind. I want to give this book to all my female friends, even the married ones, even the ones too young for marriage. It is such a great handbook for simply being a better woman, partner and person. Grateful it came into my life.

Every single woman needs this information!

Loved this book so much I read it again as soon as I finished it. Great, useful information given in a straightforward and interesting way.

Perfect!

I needed to hear every single word! Now I feel more confident to go out into the dating seen knowing I have one egg every month compared to the millions of sperm out there. :D

Found me exactly where I was and confirmed what I knew but needed to hear.

Thank you Tracy. Your book is fantastic. It is exactly what I needed to hear at this moment.

Shes got a good point... actually 9 good ponits

Would you listen to Why You're Not Married... Yet again? Why?

She delivers with the "straight talk you need to hear". You might know most of this information already but Tracy is such a fun narrator I didnt mind being told all over again :]

Have you listened to any of Tracy McMillan’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

I heard one of her Ted Talks and this was fairly similar in content and tone

Impactful and Provides Real Perspective

What did you love best about Why You're Not Married... Yet?

I love this book because it doesn't focus on what men want/need (understanding men type of books) or what a good relationship needs (men are from mars/women are from venus type of books) - books like that make me feel like I have to be especially aware of the man in my life and act accordingly or strive for some perfect relationship that might not be perfect for me. This book focuses on women - on our behavior and what we can do to get what we want, which I found very empowering and effective.

The author covers a bad habit and all of its symptoms in each chapter. She gives a couple real world examples, provides some discussion on where the habit may be stemming from, what impact it is/may be having on the man in your life, and things you can do to possibly stop it. Within the habits/symptoms she covers everything from being a slob to a slut, from being shy to being selfish. I found that even if all of the chapters did not wholly 'apply' to me, I could certainly at least relate to all of them and found useful and practical insight in each chapter.

As indicated in the title, there is a big 'reality check' tone to this book. It's not drill-sergeant-pushy or mean, but it's so simply and directly written that you can't really avoid admitting to yourself, "yes... she is talking about me.' - which is why I say the book is impactful. I say it provides real perspective because the discussion in each chapter is so objective, simple and straightforward - that you won't have room to additionally pscho-analyze yourself between the lines or look for loopholes of why the chapter doesn't apply to you. The approach of the book is not a talk with your friend who is trying to soften things for you or a talk with yourself kicking your own butt - its sort of like taking a step back from your life and being an objective viewer along with a guide. I found this approach brought perspective to me because it didn't make me feel sorry for myself or judge myself either - it just provided a platform to 'review' (not even analyze) my behavior and consider approaching things differently in the future.

What other book might you compare Why You're Not Married... Yet to and why?

It's difficult to say. Its practical, on the level of Mars and Venus, but the tone is very different.

Have you listened to any of Tracy McMillan’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No - but I definetly will now. As far as this specific performance, I thought she is a great reader and brought a lot of depth. I doubt they could have found someone to do it better.

Any additional comments?

This book is great for single women and those in relationships (whether or not the relationships are going well).