For the past 35 years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.
Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect each other, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.
Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.
This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers a detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.
©2012 John M. Gottman (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.
It would have helped significantly if the narrator had at least ATTEMPTED to differentiate the voices when reading transcripts of conversations between husbands and wives. Instead, he just keeps reading in his regular voice which is confusing AND annoying. The poor editing job of the written text did not help matters at ALL. This information would have been better presented if it was more concisely presented. It could be cut by at least 25%.
I may avoid Gottman's work in audio format after this... I admire his work as an academic, and wanted to learn more after he was mentioned in Gladwell's books, but clearly I need to be able to visually scan through to get to useful bits.
I didn't LIKE anything about J. Charles's performance. Lacking in differentiation between "speakers", and my text-to-speech software on my Android has about as much inflection.
Disappointment in how crappy an editing job was done. Paragraphs are repeated in several places and the flow of the text is bad. Where the heck were the copy editors in this???
Gottman is doing important work into human relationships. Please don't let the poor quality of this specific publication keep you from looking into what he's been doing.
"Keep calm and read on"
Among the tons of (rather irrelevant) reviews of past research and mathematical equations, hide a few nuggests of wisdom and insight that I found really valuable.
Not try to play roles in a pretend voice
"Excellent Information for Couples"
As practising couple therapist in the UK, who trained in Dr Gottman's work I can recommend this book. It contains excellent update on the research the Gottman's have done over the past few decades. And it works in practice. This book provides an introduction and update on their work.
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